Child ear piercing gone wrong - help me with what to say

[formula3]

DD8 had ears pierced today at Claire’s. All went fine, until we got home and she said “my earring has fallen out” and after initially telling her that was impossible l looked, and sure enough there was no earring in right ear. She hadn’t fiddled with them in the 3 hours they had been pierced and we got home, and I found the earring itself in the hood of her coat, no sign of the back so assume it was loose from start and is still somewhere in the shopping centre.
she was very upset, obviously, as she’s 8 and was panicking due to some blood around hole. I called Claire’s and explained what happened, the lady I spoke to sounded very shocked and said she had never had this happen and she needed to call her senior. She called back to say they were very sorry, that it must have been a fault with the earring (though it looks fine) and all that can be done is to leave it a week to heal over and they will pierce it again and as an apology not make me pay again!

I was too shocked to really process it other than to say that I didn’t think she’d want to come back there given she’d been brave to get it done in the first place and was now very upset, and said I had to go as had a very upset little girl to sort out but Could someone senior get back to me. That didn’t happen by the end of the day.

what do I do now? Contact head office? I spent £68 on good quality piercing earrings and about £15 on the piercing aftercare which for me is a lot but it was a special occasion that has gone really wrong. I’d like a refund because I feel I’ve paid for a service that has been poor (be it the fault of the equipment, or staff not checking the back was secure). My daughter is upset she only has one earring (fair enough) and I will try and encourage her to get it re-done elsewhere but right now there’s no way she’d agree to being pierced again.

I don’t write very well- could someone help me word an email and what I should say/ask for? I mainly want to stop this happening to someone other child but I’d also like my money back, not just free new piercing which can’t be goof
for her ear after a week? ☹️

thank you X

Of course they are. Agree with banning piercings on babies and toddlers, but my child was entirely capable of knowing what she wanted at 8 and understanding the reasons we denied certain things.

Getting pierced hurts - of course they need to be brave. I had to be brave to get some new piercings and my tattoos as an adult.

We do plenty of things that are unnecessary and require bravery. Climbing difficult trees, going down water slides or on rollercoasters. Finding something scary and doing it anyway is how children become brave and resilient adults.

No one is forcing this 8 year old to get pierced, she wants it. 8 is plenty old enough to decide something like that - and if they change their minds later, it’s as simple as taking out the earrings.

This is not irreversible body modification, it’s a fucking earring.

@formula3 Shes only 8 though. An 8yo isnt able to give informed consent. Ultimately its up to you as the parent to make decisions for her based on your knowledge/experience.

And ask for a full refund.

Well I supported her 2 year wish to get them pierced and felt that was right for her, but the piercing failed her and that’s the only issue,

@Organically Totally I do agree with a lot of what you've said. I just cannot get on board with body modifications on kids (however old, whatever sort).

@formula3 my local tattoo place will do lobe piercings from age 8 with parental consent. They use a needle so there is less trauma to the ear

I would remove them both. Allow them to heal and then have a word with yourself for piercing a child. Let her decide herself when she is 16 and capable of dealing with herself.

poor girl.

And that’s totally ok for you and your family.

My daughter begged and begged and I didn’t have any good reason to explain why some of her friends had pierced ears, and her mum and aunties (and uncle!) and all their friends had pierced ears and she wasn’t allowed.

I had arbitrarily decided she could have it done before secondary school because that’s when I had it done, but when she probed why, I didn’t have an answer.

She wanted it done, I don’t have an issue with piercings in general, so it came down to making sure she was mature enough to handle the aftercare and that I could find a studio who I trusted to do a good job. Once I was satisfied with that, we went and got it done.

It wasn’t a factor at the time, but looking back, I believe that putting her in a situation where she has to think carefully about doing something that will be (briefly) painful and asked to give consent herself - I was not allowed to consent on her behalf beyond the usual age/ parental responsibility checks - is important.

The piercer talked to her, not me, and asked her consent at every step of the way - I’ve had less careful handling of consent for smear tests - and made it very clear to me that if at any time she wanted to stop, that would be it.

She had a low key, low pressure example that not even her mum can consent to something happening to her body - it is her decision alone.

I think that’s a much more important lesson in consent than blithely sticking an age on it.

Mine were done at age 7.
My dd hasn't shown an interest in getting hers done and is now 21 years old

Yes, I think they'd just come in.

This is a bit OTT, and I’d personally just tell my daughter these things happen and it’s no biggie rather than all this catastrophic drama. Also, I would personally put my own sanitised pure gold earring (thinnest one I could find) straight into that ear to avoid re-piercing.

Can't say it has mine either although maybe getting her ears pierced at 6 in a tattoo shop was the catalyst for my 8 year old becoming a drugs runner. Either that or the ultra processed foods I feed her, or maybe even the screen time I allow her to have 🤣

I would take them both out, let them heal and start over. If unsure, speak to a reputable piercing studio (often tattoo studio) for advice. They can tell you how long to wait for healing. Then have a proper piercer do them - it’ll be with a needle and if the piercer is any good, it’ll be less painful (if she even feels it) and you will get proper aftercare advice too. Don’t let Claire’s touch your DD’s ears again. They have no more expertise than if you bought a cheap piercing kit off Amazon and did it yourself.

You're being absolutely ridiculous, so I'm surprised your child is being melodramatic. She's 8, not 3.
When having body modifications for your children, it really is best to have done your homework, but clearly you haven't, so here we are.
Just email the head office, outlining what you have said here.
Any other advice will probably fall flat.

My goodness me, what is with the pile on for the poor OP?

I know the consensus is to get piercings done with a sterile needle at a reputable piercing/tattoo place these days but I had mine done at Claire's with a gun whilst I was at primary school and it was fine - both ears still pierced, still have both ears! Claire's still offer its piercing service so people must be using it? £68 is so expensive though!

Also OP's DD is primary school aged and it's getting her ears pierced, sounds like she is quite capable of consenting especially if she is used to needles and blood draws etc, it can be a little painful yes but she is hardly consenting to severe GBH.

I remember when a uni friend's nose piercing fell out and we couldn't get it back in - her howling was far far worse than that of OP's DD I guarantee it

People on here can be wonderful but some posters are so odd and some views are so entrenched.

Ask for refund OP and hope your DD can enjoy lovely earrings at some point in the future if she would still like them.

Claire's prices range from £20 something to over £100 because you choose the earrings you want. You're paying for the earrings.

So it's whichever price you choose

It's bad luck.

But lesson learned. don't use Claires

They looked fine to my non-professional piercing eyes 🤷‍♀️as in 2 earrings with backs were in. Not sure what else I should have checked? And not sure it’s ever ok to call someone an idiot. But cheers for the advice.

Why do some posters just want to give the OP a kicking? I presume they lead such sad little lives it's all they have to do.

OP, your only mistake was going to Claire's and, considering how many people go there, I don't blame you. I've had problems with piercings done at reputable piercing studios - I ended up at minor injuries once as the back had become imbedded in my ear! I wouldn't try and force anything through the piercing and let your daughter decide whether to remove the remaining earring and have them both pierced together or leave it and get the other one done another time. It might be worth asking a piercer how long she would have to wait to have them redone.

Please DON'T, OP, have your child's ear 're-pierced' within a week.
Give it time to heal and then another piercer can determine whether it's okay to give the go ahead on a new hole within the same space.

You absolutely called me an idiot which there’s no need for. Very carefully worded? I can’t imagine the non-careful version!
The piercer checked and said all looked good, then checked she was ok (both before and after it and that she was happy, she said yes) and I looked and saw 2 earrings with backs and no idea what else I’d check for?!
she didn’t fiddle at all, she knows not to touch wounds in skin risking infection, and from other experienced pierced people on this thread apparently it would be very hard to pull out a newly pierced earring as the clasp is clipped on so tightly by the gun, so she definitely didn’t do this!

I agree @Crazycatlady79 you called OP an idiot. You need to reread your “carefully” worded post!

That's such a cop-out. OP wanted help in how to complain. Instead, posts like yours are "carefully worded" attacks. Don't pretend otherwise.