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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple held in Iran

660 replies

StrawDonkey · 15/02/2025 16:44

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c626p6pz7xlo

AIBU to not understand why anyone would go on a motorcycle trip to Iran? Advice is not to go there at all but I can understand that someone desperate to see family would take a risk.

OP posts:
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ERthree · 17/02/2025 20:07

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

"They had a right to be there" FFS what Part of Iran don't you get ? They don't do rights, this isn't France they are visiting. Rights, my arse.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 17/02/2025 20:11

@bamboo12 why did they feel the need to "push boundaries"? Most people grow out of that mindset when they leave their teens.

LolaPeony · 17/02/2025 20:11

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Porcuporpoise · 17/02/2025 20:14

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

So for those who werent paying attention in school: a visa gives you permission to enter a country, it does not guarantee you will be allowed to leave again.

Pushing boundaries is for toddlers and the conceptual arts, not totalitarian states.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 20:15

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 17/02/2025 20:11

@bamboo12 why did they feel the need to "push boundaries"? Most people grow out of that mindset when they leave their teens.

Pushing boundaries in the UK, not so problematic. Pushing boundaries in Iran, quite problematic, as they appear to have discovered. When were they arrested? Over a month ago? At least they have been seen by UK representatives. Now how much will it cost to.get short sighted 'pushing boundaries' adults back?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 17/02/2025 20:22

@ImmediateReaction Too much. I would say however much it costs then they should have to reimburse it. Shouldn't take long when they've sold a few sessions of gratitude life coaching and their souls at the altar of daytime telly interviews.

JustMeAndTheFish · 17/02/2025 20:22

Iran is near the top of my bucket list trips. However. As a sensible woman who would not want to put financial and emotional pressure on my family and friends I won’t go whilst it is on the Foreign Office list of do not travel countries. If I did my insurance would be invalid, and I know that, despite what people seem to think, the British Embassy cannot magically spirit me out.

Sarah2891 · 17/02/2025 20:33

Her Instagram has been made private now, so someone must have had access to it (obviously)

NotMuchOfABargain · 17/02/2025 20:33

I think they have been v foolish. I also feel sorry for them. The two are not mutually exclusive for me.

StrikeAlways · 17/02/2025 20:43

Wow! So many hard hearted women here. I agree they were foolish to cross over into Iran, but there is something lacking in a person who has “no sympathy” They were travelling the world together on motorcycles. Having been doing so a long time, they took the stupid decision to cross into Iran. Now they are held in awful conditions. According to those with experience of custody in Iran, it’s common practice for arrested foreign nationals to be tortured until they make a ‘confession’. They will likely rot in an Iranian prison for decades.

A little compassion costs nothing.

IWouldBeATerribleMayor · 17/02/2025 20:55

I think if you actually read most of the repsonses people have said they are bloody stupid. Plus people hope they actually get out alive.

No lack of compassion there. Just a collective banging of heads on desks at their stupidity. Plus their 'stupid decision' was so well thought out and deliberate they wrote on their own insta pages about how they were defying the pleas of family, friends and the FCO.

They are fools. Hopefully they will be alive fools at the end of the day, but that does not negate the fact they were deliberate idiots who are now expecting us all to bail them out. I have sympathy for them. I also have sympathy for the people who are trying to help them at significant cost. I also have sympathy for the Iranian nationals who have been the unwitting pawns of stupid Westerners who may have put them in danger by publicising the fact they in some politemess spoke to these mad people and had their photos plastered all over Western media and western social media.

Hortus · 17/02/2025 20:56

ERthree · 17/02/2025 20:07

"They had a right to be there" FFS what Part of Iran don't you get ? They don't do rights, this isn't France they are visiting. Rights, my arse.

Agree. They think they had rights but appear to have forgotten about responsibility and duty to act on Foreign Office advice and not travel to Iran. They are monumentally stupid and quite honestly deserve what has happened to them, I have no sympathy whatsoever.
All the cost and massive diplomatic and consular effort which will be required to get these morons released is such a waste of time and effort and could have been avoided if they'd acted like normal adults.

ThePoshUns · 17/02/2025 21:04

Being granted a visa doesn't make it any wiser or safer a decision to go.

Porcuporpoise · 17/02/2025 21:07

ThePoshUns · 17/02/2025 21:04

Being granted a visa doesn't make it any wiser or safer a decision to go.

"Come into the parlour", said the spider to the fly...

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 21:12

StrikeAlways · 17/02/2025 20:43

Wow! So many hard hearted women here. I agree they were foolish to cross over into Iran, but there is something lacking in a person who has “no sympathy” They were travelling the world together on motorcycles. Having been doing so a long time, they took the stupid decision to cross into Iran. Now they are held in awful conditions. According to those with experience of custody in Iran, it’s common practice for arrested foreign nationals to be tortured until they make a ‘confession’. They will likely rot in an Iranian prison for decades.

A little compassion costs nothing.

If only they’d read about foreign nationals being tortured…… If only that information was freely available?

Maybe they’d have though more about crossing the border?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 17/02/2025 21:22

@IWouldBeATerribleMayor You speak a lot of sense. I will admit that my sympathy isn't overflowing towards them and getting them out doesn't top of my list of uses of taxpayers money (and if that makes me hard hearted then so be it) but I have no desire whatsoever for there to be ill treatment, torture or death bestowed upon them.

StrikeAlways · 17/02/2025 21:26

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 21:12

If only they’d read about foreign nationals being tortured…… If only that information was freely available?

Maybe they’d have though more about crossing the border?

I agree.

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 21:27

StrikeAlways · 17/02/2025 20:43

Wow! So many hard hearted women here. I agree they were foolish to cross over into Iran, but there is something lacking in a person who has “no sympathy” They were travelling the world together on motorcycles. Having been doing so a long time, they took the stupid decision to cross into Iran. Now they are held in awful conditions. According to those with experience of custody in Iran, it’s common practice for arrested foreign nationals to be tortured until they make a ‘confession’. They will likely rot in an Iranian prison for decades.

A little compassion costs nothing.

Actually there is something lacking in a person that puts themselves in that position.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 17/02/2025 22:03

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 21:27

Actually there is something lacking in a person that puts themselves in that position.

And it also disregards what other negotiations might be derailed because of it, now the Iranian authorities have the upper hand.

“Want your citizens back? Stop pressuring us about women’s rights/freedom of speech/political prisoners then.”

Developedanillness · 17/02/2025 23:05

Sorry but they were utterly stupid no matter how nice they are. Surely they must have followed NZR's plight over the 5 years she was held captive?!

EsmaCannonball · 18/02/2025 00:39

StrikeAlways · 17/02/2025 20:43

Wow! So many hard hearted women here. I agree they were foolish to cross over into Iran, but there is something lacking in a person who has “no sympathy” They were travelling the world together on motorcycles. Having been doing so a long time, they took the stupid decision to cross into Iran. Now they are held in awful conditions. According to those with experience of custody in Iran, it’s common practice for arrested foreign nationals to be tortured until they make a ‘confession’. They will likely rot in an Iranian prison for decades.

A little compassion costs nothing.

But they would think you are nasty old cynic for saying the Iranians torture and imprison people just for being foreign nationals. They were out to prove that everyone everywhere is kind and lovely and that anyone who disagreed with them has been duped by some Western media or government narrative.

I guess the visa was granted because the Iranian regime was in need of some fresh British hostages.

StrikeAlways · 18/02/2025 01:18

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 21:27

Actually there is something lacking in a person that puts themselves in that position.

I don’t disagree with you, or all those making points about their decisions being stupid and irresponsible and selfish. I just think a little human compassion is appropriate for the torture and possibly decades detained they will now suffer.

SALaw · 18/02/2025 05:34

StrikeAlways · 17/02/2025 20:43

Wow! So many hard hearted women here. I agree they were foolish to cross over into Iran, but there is something lacking in a person who has “no sympathy” They were travelling the world together on motorcycles. Having been doing so a long time, they took the stupid decision to cross into Iran. Now they are held in awful conditions. According to those with experience of custody in Iran, it’s common practice for arrested foreign nationals to be tortured until they make a ‘confession’. They will likely rot in an Iranian prison for decades.

A little compassion costs nothing.

They didn't just stumble into Iran or make an on the hoof decision. They planned out their trip and, against all strong advice, which they knew, still went to Iran. They could have planned a different route but actively selected this one.

SALaw · 18/02/2025 05:40

JustMeAndTheFish · 17/02/2025 20:22

Iran is near the top of my bucket list trips. However. As a sensible woman who would not want to put financial and emotional pressure on my family and friends I won’t go whilst it is on the Foreign Office list of do not travel countries. If I did my insurance would be invalid, and I know that, despite what people seem to think, the British Embassy cannot magically spirit me out.

I'd probably move it further down that list. It isn't going to become safe any time soon.

SALaw · 18/02/2025 05:44

@bamboo12 well they pushed the boundaries and the boundaries stayed firm and now they are where they are. Everyone knew those boundaries were immovable. So what happens now? What did they expect would happen? These are reasonable questions.