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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple held in Iran

660 replies

StrawDonkey · 15/02/2025 16:44

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c626p6pz7xlo

AIBU to not understand why anyone would go on a motorcycle trip to Iran? Advice is not to go there at all but I can understand that someone desperate to see family would take a risk.

OP posts:
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Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 16/02/2025 20:18

Beesandhoney123 · 16/02/2025 01:12

Bit surprised to learn she is was a life coach. Seems remarkably reckless and entitled of them both.

Presumably they will at some point return totally humiliated and vanish into obscurity.

I fear instead they will milk the experience for all its worth, and be very glib about risks. Which is very insulting to the FO, whom will have had to mess about getting them out.

Books
Life skills course - surviving adversity 🙄

PrimalScreaming · 16/02/2025 20:26

Risky Extreme / Dark Tourism only serves to support abhorrent regimes.

I know someone who went to North Korea on a guided trip (purely recreational). They folded a newspaper with a picture of Kim Jong-Un in half without thinking (illegal). They were extremely lucky given what happened to Otto Warmbier there!

StrawberryWater · 16/02/2025 20:32

I would absolutely love to travel to that part of the world. Iran is a beautiful place with lots of lovely people and so full of history.

Would I go there? Absolutely bloody not! Same as I would never go to Pakistan, Syria and other countries which are dangerous to westerners.

I wish them no ill will or anything but yeah I have no sympathy for people that get into trouble while doing dark tourism.

samarrange · 17/02/2025 00:22

PrimalScreaming · 16/02/2025 20:02

I just read on one of Lindsay Foreman's Instagram posts. Her interviews with people all over the world asking the question, 'what makes a good life' are all on video.

I can't imagine the Iranian regime would be very happy to let video of it's citizens speaking to a camera (at the behest of a random Western woman) out of the country without their knowledge. Especially when the intention is to screen them at a worldwide conference in Brisbane! Just what were they thinking?

I presume it depends on what they're saying. If it's "We would all be a lot happier if the mullahs would just fuck off" then sure, but given the rest of the couple's socials I imagine it's mostly happy-clappy bollocks which nobody could object to very much, and indeed might be useful idiot material to convince some people in the West that life for women in Iran isn't so bad after all.

As PP have noted, even though you wouldn't want to live there, Iran is not on the scale of North Korea or East Germany in terms of clamping down on dissent and interactions with Westerners.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 09:38

samarrange · 17/02/2025 00:22

I presume it depends on what they're saying. If it's "We would all be a lot happier if the mullahs would just fuck off" then sure, but given the rest of the couple's socials I imagine it's mostly happy-clappy bollocks which nobody could object to very much, and indeed might be useful idiot material to convince some people in the West that life for women in Iran isn't so bad after all.

As PP have noted, even though you wouldn't want to live there, Iran is not on the scale of North Korea or East Germany in terms of clamping down on dissent and interactions with Westerners.

Not as bad as 'East Germany'..... seriously 😐

"The state of human rights in the Islamic Republic of Iran has been regarded as very poor. The United Nations General Assembly and the Human Rights Commission[1] have condemned prior and ongoing abuses in Iran in published critiques and several resolutions. The government is criticized both for restrictions and punishments that follow the Islamic Republic's constitution and law, and for "extrajudicial" actions by state actors, such as the torture, rape, and killing of political prisoners, and the beatings and killings of dissidents and other civilians.[2] Capital punishment in Iran remains a matter of international concern."

samarrange · 17/02/2025 10:39

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 09:38

Not as bad as 'East Germany'..... seriously 😐

"The state of human rights in the Islamic Republic of Iran has been regarded as very poor. The United Nations General Assembly and the Human Rights Commission[1] have condemned prior and ongoing abuses in Iran in published critiques and several resolutions. The government is criticized both for restrictions and punishments that follow the Islamic Republic's constitution and law, and for "extrajudicial" actions by state actors, such as the torture, rape, and killing of political prisoners, and the beatings and killings of dissidents and other civilians.[2] Capital punishment in Iran remains a matter of international concern."

I'm not saying that Iran not a horrible repressive regime. My point is only that it doesn't have the surveillance infrastructure or the officially organised mistrust of foreigners. Indeed there is a "Visit Iran" website. You'd be bonkers to go, but it's not the ordinary people you'd have to worry about. This couple have not been arrested because they offended anyone — they are being held hostage (on "security-related charges") because it's convenient for the regime to do so, not because they insulted the country or its people or its religion.

SALaw · 17/02/2025 12:55

NebulousHog · 16/02/2025 14:04

They have had consular assistance.

They haven't posted anything anti-Iran on social media, it's perfectly legal to use social media in Iran within the restrictions, it's just censored.

They have been arrested without charge, and it's scary how many people think that is acceptable.

No one thinks it's acceptable. Many people think they have contributed to the situation they find themselves in by ignoring all the very strong and justified warnings and guidance about travel there.

SALaw · 17/02/2025 12:57

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 12:13

Also, if they were arrested over a month ago, seems a rooky error that the government/family/companies haven’t promptly sorted taking down their social media feeds before the story broke. Their posts are now being reported on worldwide, which surely can’t be helping diplomacy.

How would their family go about doing this? My parents and siblings don't have access to my social media, and I doubt many relatives do?

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

StrawDonkey · 15/02/2025 16:44

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c626p6pz7xlo

AIBU to not understand why anyone would go on a motorcycle trip to Iran? Advice is not to go there at all but I can understand that someone desperate to see family would take a risk.

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 19:04

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

But that doesn’t make it sensible choice, it still makes it a stupid one.

They’ve acted stupidly.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:17

SALaw · 17/02/2025 12:55

No one thinks it's acceptable. Many people think they have contributed to the situation they find themselves in by ignoring all the very strong and justified warnings and guidance about travel there.

This. No one said it's acceptable. However, people might think their actions unwise or even completely stupid.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:22

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

They might not be stupid but they have acted stupidly. Do you understand the difference? If everyone tells them not to go to Iran and travel there, is labelled as not advisable, then why are they so arrogant to assume its OK for them.

They will end up costing this country lots of money to get them out. Lots of hours sorting their ill advisable jollies In an attempt to release them.

Hopefully, they will contribute from their own funds or might they continue to hold their hands out begging money on 'Go fund me' as they have done to date for their trip. Free lunch again for them, is it!

caringcarer · 17/02/2025 19:22

They sounded gullible and naive saying they wanted to believe the best in all people. They knew the risk but thought they knew better than the experts.

itsgettingweird · 17/02/2025 19:26

I know them and they are not stupid

What would you describe travelling to a country your foreign advises you don't travel too?

Because it sure isn't "a great idea".

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 19:27

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:22

They might not be stupid but they have acted stupidly. Do you understand the difference? If everyone tells them not to go to Iran and travel there, is labelled as not advisable, then why are they so arrogant to assume its OK for them.

They will end up costing this country lots of money to get them out. Lots of hours sorting their ill advisable jollies In an attempt to release them.

Hopefully, they will contribute from their own funds or might they continue to hold their hands out begging money on 'Go fund me' as they have done to date for their trip. Free lunch again for them, is it!

Edited

Why did they get a visa when they applied then?
I get that they acted against advice but they did have a visa to be in the country so to me that means they could travel through.
The comments on here are awful - they are lovely people and yes maybe they made a mistake but don’t call them names.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:29

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 19:27

Why did they get a visa when they applied then?
I get that they acted against advice but they did have a visa to be in the country so to me that means they could travel through.
The comments on here are awful - they are lovely people and yes maybe they made a mistake but don’t call them names.

Who's calling them names. Saying they acted stupidly is not calling them names.

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 19:32

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 19:27

Why did they get a visa when they applied then?
I get that they acted against advice but they did have a visa to be in the country so to me that means they could travel through.
The comments on here are awful - they are lovely people and yes maybe they made a mistake but don’t call them names.

Why did they get a visa? Don’t know, you’d have to ask who provided it?

The fact is no matter how “lovely” they are they acted stupidly!

The two are not mutually exclusive.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:33

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 19:27

Why did they get a visa when they applied then?
I get that they acted against advice but they did have a visa to be in the country so to me that means they could travel through.
The comments on here are awful - they are lovely people and yes maybe they made a mistake but don’t call them names.

"Foreign travel advice
Iran
FCDO advises against all travel to Iran."

Right at the top of the UK government website. At the very top!

Then it says

"FCDO advises against all travel to Iran
FCDO advises against all travel to Iran. British and British-Iranian dual nationals are at significant risk of arrest, questioning or detention. Having a British passport or connections to the UK can be reason enough for the Iranian authorities to detain you.
Find out more about why FCDO advises against travel. "

SIGNIFICANT RISK OF ARREST - THEY WERE ARRESTED. SURPRISED?

Donttellempike · 17/02/2025 19:34

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 19:27

Why did they get a visa when they applied then?
I get that they acted against advice but they did have a visa to be in the country so to me that means they could travel through.
The comments on here are awful - they are lovely people and yes maybe they made a mistake but don’t call them names.

If You decide to go to a country that it is advised not to visit because it is not safe, that is taking a risk in itself.

Having done that, surely you educate yourself as to what to do and not to do to reduce that risk as much as you can.

Going on SM and publicizing that you, as a woman, are interviewing people for a film. Asking opinion from ordinary people

If that is not stupid, it is unbelievably ill advised. And may have brought trouble for those interviewed too.

You do not push boundaries in countries like this.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:39

Justalittlehandhold · 17/02/2025 19:32

Why did they get a visa? Don’t know, you’d have to ask who provided it?

The fact is no matter how “lovely” they are they acted stupidly!

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Also:

"If you choose to travel to Iran against FCDO advice, apply for a visa well in advance of your travel. The application process for an Iranian visa can be long and unpredictable.
If you want to travel to Iran with a British passport, the Iranian Embassy has told FCDO you must either apply as part of an organised tour or have a sponsor in Iran to get a visa. "

If you read the UK website fir Iran it repeatedly tells people that they don't advise travel there for UK nationals. Hopefully, they will get out soon. Some people aren't so lucky and it can take years.

LolaPeony · 17/02/2025 19:40

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 19:27

Why did they get a visa when they applied then?
I get that they acted against advice but they did have a visa to be in the country so to me that means they could travel through.
The comments on here are awful - they are lovely people and yes maybe they made a mistake but don’t call them names.

Every Western national who has ever been unjustly detained in Iran (or Russia, or North Korea) has been granted a visa to be there, so that’s a moot point.

These are hostile, anti-Western states, who love detaining hapless western citizens in order to blackmail their home governments. They have been engaging in hostage diplomacy for years at this point.

Anyone with a shred of common sense would never travel to a country with a recent history of randomly arresting their fellow citizens on fake security charges.

SchoolDilemma17 · 17/02/2025 19:41

Donttellempike · 17/02/2025 19:34

If You decide to go to a country that it is advised not to visit because it is not safe, that is taking a risk in itself.

Having done that, surely you educate yourself as to what to do and not to do to reduce that risk as much as you can.

Going on SM and publicizing that you, as a woman, are interviewing people for a film. Asking opinion from ordinary people

If that is not stupid, it is unbelievably ill advised. And may have brought trouble for those interviewed too.

You do not push boundaries in countries like this.

Over 20 years ago, I traveled to Syria to visit a family member. I was a young student but read about all the rules and everyone I met there also told me which rules to follow and that foreigners can get in trouble quickly (someone went to jail for a bit by mistakingly photographing one of Assad’s palaces). I was also told not to discuss politics or the regime with locals especially not in public. Hotmail and other email providers were blocked (this was before social media and smartphones). Some news sites were blocked too.

I think these people are incredibly naive (and probably also stupid) and didn’t read or listen to any advice about how to behave while travelling in Iran. I just hope none of the locals got in trouble by talking to them.

SchoolDilemma17 · 17/02/2025 19:43

this story also reminds me of the three American who crossed the Iran border by mistake while hiking in the border area 🤦🏻‍♀️

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/sep/10/us-americans-iran-spies-espionage-lawsuit

LolaPeony · 17/02/2025 19:44

bamboo12 · 17/02/2025 18:41

I know them and they are not stupid but did want to push the boundaries. They had visas so had the right to be in the country.

Anyone voluntarily visiting Iran after the plight of Nazanin Zaghari Ratcliffe had been all over the UK media for the best part of a decade is stupid. I’m sorry that your friends are in a bad situation, but that doesn’t change the fact that they made an incredibly stupid decision and got themselves into this mess, and I will be very angry if any UK taxpayer resources are expended to get them out of it.

ImmediateReaction · 17/02/2025 19:46

samarrange · 17/02/2025 10:39

I'm not saying that Iran not a horrible repressive regime. My point is only that it doesn't have the surveillance infrastructure or the officially organised mistrust of foreigners. Indeed there is a "Visit Iran" website. You'd be bonkers to go, but it's not the ordinary people you'd have to worry about. This couple have not been arrested because they offended anyone — they are being held hostage (on "security-related charges") because it's convenient for the regime to do so, not because they insulted the country or its people or its religion.

Ah, so perfectly safe then. No worries, not that much of a problem travelling there then, it's not like you'd get arrested and held or everything (sarcasm) 🙄

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