To not go to pub because I look young..

[Anxietyqueeen]

To preface this I have horrible anxiety and a real anxiety about people thinking I'm very young due to many bad experiences whilst being pregnant/ being mistaken for a really young mother.

I'm in my early 30s but look very young. Not in a good way. In a "weirdly tired/ haggard looking 16 year old" way. I'm meant to be going to a pub tomorrow at 9.30 pm - they don't allow under 18s in at that time. I'll be going with a new group of school mums so I'm feeling a bit anxious about it anyway as I'm socially awkward and I don't know them very well, but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone more. But then I'm really anxious that I'll be pegged as an under 18/ singled out and ID'd infront of the rest of them .I'd find that really embarrassing Infront of people I don't really know. I had it happen last year and the people I was with the. were laughing about it and winding me up for days afterwards about looking like a kid.

I think I just need to be told I'm ridiculous and if it happens to laugh it off. But my anxiety is so bad.
Would you go?

If I was asked for ID I'd be made up, and so would all my 'mum' and 'dad' friends! If that happens everyone will think it's great!

I'm early 30s and look terrible and haven't been ID'd in years sadly!

You're overthinking it. Take ID, show it if you get asked, and get on with your night out.

Just have your ID to hand and take it as a compliment that you look young :)

Tell them you are always getting carded. I was carded for coffee in WHSmith last week. Its funny.

I would go - I know how difficult it is I am in 40’s and am under 5ft however you need to overcome it - at some point the teasing does flip on its head and as you get older people start wishing they looked younger.

Can you go early so that the ID is done before the others arrive?

The only way to get over anxiety is to push through it. Getting I.D'd is a non event. For the sake of your children, go and build on it.

I always used to get asked for ID up until about 35/36. I just had to remember to take it with me and I had no issues at all.

Can't remember the last time I was asked and I'm 39 in autumn...

Just take your ID, if you get asked just show it, no drama.

At mid 30s literally no one thinks you c
actually look like you’re in school.

I wouldn't let it stop you going out. They have to ask if you look under 25 and if you're only 30 it's not that much of a leap. I doubt you look 16. Just take ID with you.

I was given a child's bus fare last year..

Take your id, and just have it ready when entering the pub so no need to make a big fuss of looking for it, all flustered.
When asked just make a joke 'ha, I knew id be asked so here it is!' All smiles!

There's really no need to get so worked up over being IDed, you know it will probably happen so you're prepared.

Oh yes they can - even into early forties regularly get the I thought you were 16 comments. You laugh it off and say why thank you and when anyone comments you laugh and say it’s great - when I’m seventy I’ll look forty.

I get it. I am also mid 30s but genuinely regularly get mistaken for a child.

People who don’t won’t (and never will) get it, so they’ll all come out with comments about how you should take it as a compliment (bullshit), or you can’t possibly look that young and nobody actually thinks it (again, bullshit).

So you can safely ignore nearly every reply you’ll get to this thread.

But you should go. Fuck what everyone else thinks. Took me a long time to learn that, but don’t let anxiety win.

Maybe from a distance if you're small stature or dress particularly childlike. Up close, no chance.

Oh right I guess I must have been imagining it then. More times than I can count.
But obviously you know better as you were there every time weren’t you?

Did you correct the driver?

Definitely go! Keep your ID in your hand or in your pocket so you can just whip it out and hand it over with little fuss, if anyone says anything just laugh along and say this always happens to me. Conversation should soon change and then it’s all back to normal.

Or maybe arrive 10 mins earlier so you can show ID and walk straight in. I really hope you try and hopefully the experience can improve how you feel towards this.

I still get asked for id and im 38 i love it! Take it as a compliment

I was asked for ID up until I was about 35. It seemed to stop after that. I’m 37 now and I miss it! Must have aged a lot in the last couple of years!

Bring your ID and try to laugh it off. The school mums will probably think it's a compliment. I think unless it happens to you a lot people don't realise how negative it can feel.

I get ID'd in certain shops sometimes, even if I'm with my kids( who they think are siblings). I do think wtf but it's better than them thinking I'm old I suppose.

OP I mean this kindly but stop taking yourself so seriously. You know how much you’re thinking about how you come across? Nobody notices as much as you think because they’ve got their own stuff to worry about. I do get it, and a few years back I was no stranger to turning a horrible shade of beetroot at even the thought of being the centre of attention, but the minute you decide to laugh at this stuff your life will become so much easier (and your kids will see your confidence and it’ll rub off on them). Wishing you all the best.

Just bring ID and laugh it off. I‘m tiny and looked young well into my 20s, even got given half fare on the bus when I was 22. Go and have a great time.

There's no way at 40 people think your a child. I've heard people say they look younger when they dont but i never say that i just let them believe. it's in our heads how young we look to other people you look older than how you think you do. Enjoy the pub OP.