Page 3 | To not go to pub because I look young..

Anxietyqueeen · 2025-02-15T14:10:54+00:00

To preface this I have horrible anxiety and a real anxiety about people thinking I'm very young due to many bad experiences whilst being pregnant/ being mistaken for a really young mother. I'm in my early 30s but look very young. Not in a good way. In a "weirdly tired/ haggard looking 16 year old" way. I'm meant to be going to a pub tomorrow at 9.30 pm - they don't allow under 18s in at that time. I'll be going with a new group of school mums so I'm feeling a bit anxious about it anyway as I'm socially awkward and I don't know them very well, but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone more. But then I'm really anxious that I'll be pegged as an under 18/ singled out and ID'd infront of the rest of them .I'd find that really embarrassing Infront of people I don't really know. I had it happen last year and the people I was with the. were laughing about it and winding me up for days afterwards about looking like a kid. I think I just need to be told I'm ridiculous and if it happens to laugh it off. But my anxiety is so bad. Would you go?

BrandNewHeretic · 15/02/2025 16:07

x2boys · 15/02/2025 15:53

This is mumsnet so many posters insisting they are regularly I,d despite being 40,50,60 etc.

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This is mumsnet, so any time someone posts about something that hasn't happened specifically to them, they make up ridiculous straw man arguments or exaggerated statistics because the dont have the bandwidth to fathom that everybody is different and has different lived experiences to them (or are bitter that it hasn't happened to them).

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 16:13

Only on mumsnet are there the posters claiming they still got id'd in their late 30s and 40s 🙄 people may well say you look young, good for your age but most people look their age and looking younger is in their heads.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 16:16

BrandNewHeretic · 15/02/2025 16:07

This is mumsnet, so any time someone posts about something that hasn't happened specifically to them, they make up ridiculous straw man arguments or exaggerated statistics because the dont have the bandwidth to fathom that everybody is different and has different lived experiences to them (or are bitter that it hasn't happened to them).

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Yes but we can make judgements from what we see, and I don't regularly see grown women getting id'd in shops.

AcquadiP · 15/02/2025 16:17

Look on the bright side. You look younger than your age now and that will more than likely continue as you age. It may be a bit embarrassing now but just laugh it off because you'll be pleased when you reach the milestones of 40 and 50 and people think you look much younger than you are. Win win!

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 15/02/2025 16:25

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 16:16

Yes but we can make judgements from what we see, and I don't regularly see grown women getting id'd in shops.

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Just because its not common, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 15/02/2025 16:26

This happens me too! I don’t necessarily it’s cus they think in actually 16

but more that I dress quite casual - always in a band T-shirt and skinny jeans with converse and a flannel shirt and I don’t really wear any make up and I’m very short as well 5ft

so it’s probably more of a hmmm can’t be too sure and they just double check.

it’s not a big deal at all.

i find putting an age on people super difficult

AuntyMabelandPippin · 15/02/2025 16:49

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 16:13

Only on mumsnet are there the posters claiming they still got id'd in their late 30s and 40s 🙄 people may well say you look young, good for your age but most people look their age and looking younger is in their heads.

But some of us are very small, and I always looked young. I never tried to get a drink in a pub until I was eighteen, and I always, always took my passport in so they had photo ID (this was before photo driving licences) as I was always checked.

I still look young from the back... 😂

Fupoffyagrasshole · 15/02/2025 17:33

i just thought of a time about 5 years ago(I was 30) and husband ordered food and drinks at the bar and pointed at our table I was sitting at - and the man said over at the table the little boy is sitting at (it was me at the table) I had very short pixi hair cut at the time 🤣🤣🤣

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 15/02/2025 17:42

Just take your ID. You’ll be fine.

im nearly 40 and got asked for ID to buy paracetamol the other day. I didn’t have my ID but my 20 year old dd1 did. She showed hers and I told the woman she was my daughter and she just walked off looking confused and saying oh gosh over and over again. Was quite funny tbh.

it also made my day a couple of months ago and I was out with my work colleagues who were mainly in their 20s. I got asked for ID along with them to get into Wetherspoons. Just enjoy the fact you’ve aged well. You’ll miss being asked when it stops.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 15/02/2025 17:44

Fupoffyagrasshole · 15/02/2025 17:33

i just thought of a time about 5 years ago(I was 30) and husband ordered food and drinks at the bar and pointed at our table I was sitting at - and the man said over at the table the little boy is sitting at (it was me at the table) I had very short pixi hair cut at the time 🤣🤣🤣

😂. My sister got a 90s boy band, curtains hair cut last year. She was a 30 year old woman, but was constantly mistaken for a teenage boy 😂. She soon grew it out.

Butchyrestingface · 15/02/2025 17:46

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 16:13

Only on mumsnet are there the posters claiming they still got id'd in their late 30s and 40s 🙄 people may well say you look young, good for your age but most people look their age and looking younger is in their heads.

Hardly. Google it. We're quite the cottage industry. 😀

You might say this happens because some people are shit at gauging age, and perhaps that's true - MN is after all full of posters who swear up and down they think 29 year old Timothée Chalamet looks like a 12 year old.

Destiny123 · 15/02/2025 17:49

GroovyChick87 · 15/02/2025 14:24

I wouldn't let it stop you going out. They have to ask if you look under 25 and if you're only 30 it's not that much of a leap. I doubt you look 16. Just take ID with you.

I got IDd for wd40 bike oil spray at 32... its apparently a 16 limit. I don't drink so didn't have proper ID. They wouldn't accept work ID that said I was a Dr, car keys and a credit card to prove I wasn't sub 16, so told them I have better things to so with my life than sniff solvents so the bike will have to stay rusty.

Op honestly noone will bat an eye lid just laugh and smile

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 15/02/2025 17:54

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 16:13

Only on mumsnet are there the posters claiming they still got id'd in their late 30s and 40s 🙄 people may well say you look young, good for your age but most people look their age and looking younger is in their heads.

at 39 I genuinely still get asked for ID reasonably regularly. Not every time anymore. That stopped at around 35 but often enough that I wouldn’t got for a night out without ID as there is a risk that I could be asked and how embarrassing would it be not to get into somewhere when you’re pushing 40!

I also have a 20 year old daughter and it’s fun to see people’s reactions to this. I can’t believe there are people out there who believe it’s not possible to get asked for ID in your late 30s or 40s.

Ddakji · 15/02/2025 17:54

They don’t think you look under 18 - they think you look under 25, which is who they’re meant to ID.

I was last IDed in an off licence when I was 35.

Go and enjoy yourself.

5128gap · 15/02/2025 17:56

Have your ID ready in your hand. When you see them look at you twice show them. They'll probably take a quick look and in you go, no fuss. If the other mums see they'll probably make jokes about wishing it was them and that'll be that. Please don't let this put you off enjoying a night out. DD is 30s and it happens to her all the time.