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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Surprise party but not many people showed

75 replies

Malibu2022 · 14/02/2025 21:02

My friend threw me a surprise party for my birthday we don’t actually live in my home country it was beautiful with all of my favourite things and colours theme the works however not many people showed and I can’t help think about it.

there was quite a few people away that date, some people messaged me the day after seeing my Instagram stories apologising that they weren’t there but they hadn’t been invited, the party was organised in 4 weeks and the date had changed half way through again people has messaged me saying they thought it was the day after as the original date.

my husband has also forgot to invite some people and there are people he wouldn’t of thought to ask.

I can’t help but feel sad and anxious about it as so much effort went into it anyone else experienced this?

I just kinda wish I had known about it and could of been in charge of the guest list and the rest being a surprise especially as we are away from home and my friends and family back home wasn’t invited being short notice they wouldn’t had to book flights etc.

OP posts:
MuskIsACnt · 14/02/2025 21:13

I’ve seen this type of thing happen a few times with surprise parties. I’m sorry it happened to you, it’s rubbish.

Overthebow · 14/02/2025 21:15

How many is not many?

DollydaydreamTheThird · 14/02/2025 21:18

My friends threw me a surprise party once and I still cringe now when I think about it. I just don't think they are ever a good idea. Sorry this happened to you OP. Just be thankful someone loves you enough to do that for you and the fact lots of people have contacted you since means that it's not because you're unpopular that not many showed. Sounds like poor organisation on your friend's part but bless her for trying.

Original poster
Malibu2022 · 14/02/2025 21:19

There was around 40 people I am so grateful to these people but there was a lot of people missing being a big room it was held in also.

OP posts:
Original poster
Malibu2022 · 14/02/2025 21:21

Thank you for your reply I felt so bad about it for a while then when I actually thought about it I think there was a lot of miscommunications I just feel anxious about it and it’s such a shame as the entertainment was amazing I just wished more people couldn’t enjoyed it

OP posts:
Original poster
Malibu2022 · 14/02/2025 21:23

Thank you yes I think I would of loved to of had the surprise in the theme etc but I would of liked to of know so that I could of been in control of the guests and maybe planned it a few months before to give people time and so people from my home country couldn’t of planned to of come.

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 14/02/2025 21:24

40 people coming at two weeks notice is pretty good.

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/02/2025 21:24

Malibu2022 · 14/02/2025 21:19

There was around 40 people I am so grateful to these people but there was a lot of people missing being a big room it was held in also.

40??!! Your original post made it sound like about 5 people had turned up.

Can you not just be appreciative?

Disturbia81 · 14/02/2025 21:25

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 14/02/2025 21:24

40 people coming at two weeks notice is pretty good.

40 for a party these days is amazing!
But OP.. why not plan your own party next birthday and invite everyone you want to, and just enjoy the memory of this surprise party for what it was.

Lookingfornewdirection · 14/02/2025 21:26

I thought your were going to say about 4 came, not 40.

BubbleIceTea · 14/02/2025 21:26

40 friends arrived with 2 weeks notice and you're sad??
Blimey.

Marylou2 · 14/02/2025 21:27

While it might not be as perfect as you wished it's still lovely to have a friend who cared enough to arrange this for you and a DH who helped. 40 people seems lots to me.

Sakura7 · 14/02/2025 21:27

God I hate this kind of nonsense.

40 people is loads and you sound really shallow and ungrateful.

FrogsLoveRain · 14/02/2025 21:27

Gosh. I don't think I even know 40 people to invite to a party!

You need to get this into perspective

stanleypops66 · 14/02/2025 21:30

That's why I've made it explicitly clear to my Dh and family to never ever throw me a big surprise party. I like to be the organiser.

So sorry, but based on what you're said it sounds like poor organisation rather than lack of care.

StSwithinsDay · 14/02/2025 21:31

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harijes · 14/02/2025 21:32

"I just kinda wish I had known about it and could of been in charge of the guest list and the rest being a surprise especially as we are away from home and my friends and family back home wasn’t invited being short notice they wouldn’t had to book flights etc."

So if I read this correct, your day to day friends, in your day to day location organised you a party and a wonderful evening and 40 people turned up?

But nobody from your home country could on that notice?

Well surely that's wonderful? And an excuse to have another party when you are there?

CallMeDaphne · 14/02/2025 21:34

Ah Gwen. I’m sure Bryn did his best.

StMarie4me · 14/02/2025 21:36

Same thing happened to me, tho it wasn't a surprise. They just insisted on taking over the planning. People that I had specifically said I wanted there were not invited.

I've never been able to 100% get over it and never tried to have another party.

JMSA · 14/02/2025 21:45

Oh gosh, I think I'm too much of a control freak to properly appreciate this. I'd be overthinking it to death Blush
Sorry it didn't live up to expectations and Happy Birthday anyway Flowers

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 14/02/2025 21:45

Sakura7 · 14/02/2025 21:27

God I hate this kind of nonsense.

40 people is loads and you sound really shallow and ungrateful.

I read it that she is more anxious that people missed out (some given wrong date or not invited). I didn't think she was anxious because they didn't show up for her.

JMSA · 14/02/2025 21:45

40 people is a great result though!

Pinkpillow7 · 14/02/2025 21:46

Embarrassing!

TheRealTina · 14/02/2025 21:47

a wind up. You are so desired for a friend, that only 40 people turned up. Come on, put your ass on some level ground, woman

TheRealTina · 14/02/2025 21:49

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