What happens if your children are sick whilst you're at work?

[Ditaditaddddita]

Say if the nursery phone you whilst you're at work and say your child is sick, can you come and collect ASAP. Are you able to leave work for this? What if this happens regularly, would you not face disciplinary action?

I have no children of my own, but this is something I've wondered about and that worries me.

Fortunately both DH and I are able to leave relatively easily…. we usually work out who is best to collect DC then juggle the rest of our work around each other as best we can.

There are many jobs where you can't just leave so hopefully the other parent can. If you both have flexibility then take it in turns so one parent doesn't get the bad rep for lots of absences.

Or you need a relative or friend as a backup. Then return the favour.

Someone has to do it.

I'm SE and work locally, so it usually falls to me as I have the flexibility and am closest. There have been times it has taken around 1.5hrs to get there due to not being in a position to 'drop and go' however (I have a trade, so think along the lines of a window removed, so property is unsecured with no one else there and I can't leave until it at least temporarily made good). Customers are always understanding, but I suppose they don't have a lot of choice! I will always call DH and get him to collect if he happens to be WFH that day, but that hasn't coincided often.

Who stays home with a sick DC the following day(s) depends on my work schedule, as DH can WFH whereas it would involve rescheduling my customers and losing a day's money. If my diary is quiet, I'll do it. If multiple days are needed, we do 50/50. There was one occasion when DC2 was "sick" at school triggering the 48hr exclusion period; turned out on questioning her that it was coughed up flem and nobody from school had seen the sick (she had rinsed it down the sink), just taken her word for it... I took her to work with me the next day with a pile of CGP books to occupy her as she was perfectly well, DH had a site visit miles away, school wouldn't have her back because they apparently can't go back on the 48hrs off once triggered, and I couldn't afford the loss of money and time. It's a juggling act!

I ring my manager and tell them my child is sick and nursery needs them to be collected, manager arranges for my (patient facing) diary to be rearranged and tells me she hopes they're feeling better soon.

If it lasts more than a day then my husband and myself take it turn about to take time off. It's not fair to burden one employer only.

Or you need a relative or friend as a backup. Then return the favour.

It seems like a huge "ask" get someone else to pick up an acutely unwell child. I'm surprised that so many parents happily expect grandparents to do this. I have a good relationship with my parents and in-laws but would never dream of telling them to pick up an extremely unwell grandchild. What if the child infects them with the flu, covid or norovirus? What if the child is sick in their car or has already been sick on their clothes and there's huge mess to deal with?

I would certainly not jump in to do this for anyone, and the chances of them "returning the favour" are virtually non-existent anyway. Most children only require an emergency pickup once every two years or so. The chances of someone picking your child and they ending up in the same situation where only you can help them is basically impossible. I've only been picked up 3 times in my entire life (sickness in nursery, chicken pox and a serious sports accident).

It's also hardly life or death as the school call an ambulance in critical situations. It's a question of a few hours at most. If a parent can't drop everything right away, the child will just have to sit in the nurses office with an ice pack or something.

I would much rather ask a grandparent than have my child sit in the office for a lengthy period of time if for some reason I couldn’t get their quickly and neither could DH. Luckily my family want to help each other out and wouldn’t see it as a crazy ask.

I've only been picked up 3 times in my entire life (sickness in nursery, chicken pox and a serious sports accident).

This is very uncommon. My daughter is 3 and I’ve had to collect her early due to sickness probably 5 times that amount.

@Medusa75 All the schools I have taught in have. If you have physically vomited within 48 hours you should stay at home whether you are staff or student.
Many parents ignore this rule though, and quite often it's the non-working ones that send their child in when they have been throwing up that morning.
I send them back home again 😀

It was mostly DH but he only worked 1-2 days during the school week as he was a shift worker. I picked up the slack, this was in the pre WFH era so I had to take dependent care leave. My manager was always understanding, although it probably helped it was a rare occurance.

Once though, work couldnt get hold of DH or as he was out on the golf course and didnt own a mobile phone (tbf it was 20 odd years ago), and I was in back to back meetings. Poor DD had to sit in the school office for hours.

I was teaching when I got pregnant with my son. DH had a pressured job with long hours and travel. I didn't go back to work after having my baby because, despite everyone saying it's a great job because you won't need childcare over the school holidays, it would have been too difficult to get time off if my child needed me. Senior management were difficult enough over my pregnancy sickness and antenatal appointments, I couldn't face dealing with them when my priority is my child. This was a good decision as DS is high need.

While DS was a baby I didn't work and then when he started school, I took on a part time work from home job that I could do once he was in bed in the evening. DS is now at high school and I have a 9am-2pm WFH jon so I can do drop off and pick ups and be there for DS after school. I have been lucky to find a job in a kind supportive company that understands that things happen and are super flexible when DS needs me during the working day. If I need to stop in the day to pick him up or look after him when he is ill I don't get admonished, just understanding, and as a result, I show more loyalty, and work much harder to make up my hours and make sure my work gets done.

In a previous position I was disciplined for taking time off to care for my sick child. When they started bringing up my Bradford score I realised they had been putting me down as off sick! I pointed out that it was emergency time off for dependents, that wasn’t punishable and suddenly all disciplinary action was dropped.

I now work for a small family business, and my children see my management as family friends. It’s never an issue for me to drop everything and run, and likewise I drop everything and go into the office if I’m desperately needed. It makes such a difference to be valued and understood as a working mother

I'd go and get them. My work likes me to be flexible with them- husband travels overseas, I travel to other offices. We stay late and work on days off if needed. Therefore we have kids home and work from home when needed and go to appointments when needed. It works both ways.

I think you just have to discuss it with your partner and any other family who are available etc. Luckily DH has a fairly flexible job, so when I was working one of us could usually make it even if we were not both available 100% of the time.

If you have a job where you can't just leave and no nearby family then your partner can't have the same unless you employ an au pair or something.

Yes, I go and get her.
Partner works 1.5 hours away while I work from home a 3-ish minute walk from nursery, so I'm the one they call by default. Our nursery is pretty reasonable though so luckily it's only happened twice - once with a high temperature and once she had conjunctivitis. With the conjunctivitis they called 15 minutes before I was finishing work for the day (I'm part time) and were happy to keep her for that time since she was in the middle of eating her lunch anyway. The more annoying part was she then had to stay off nursery for a week despite being perfectly well in herself because it's contagious!
If she was just not herself/off her food or something nursery wouldn't even call - just keep an eye on her and inform me at her usual pick up time. One day this week she was a bit whiney in the morning and then actually slept for an hour and 45 minutes (she dropped her nap ages ago!). They just told me when I went to collect her and I promised to keep an eye out for any signs of illness. She's been fine the rest of the week though, and not napped at nursery again. I'd have been really annoyed if I was expected to pick her up in those circumstances!

It depends. Single parent by choice. I live near my parents and sister, but a 75 minute commute from work (I work nights, weekends and 34 hr stretches). Minor stuff I have a plan a/b/c (my parents are often away), but in a crisis a colleague turned up to cover me within 10 mins on a Sat afternoon and I met my daughter at the regional Children’s Hospital after she was transferred by ambulance with my sister from the local dgh.

DH and I are both in professional, office roles. Never had any issues with picking up/caring for unwell children from either employer. Whoever can leave work first/most easily (e.g. if one of us has meetings, the other will go), just lets their boss know DC is unwell and they need to collect them. It's generally worked out fairly evenly between us. It's not monitored or recorded anywhere, you just go. Both our roles are output dependent rather than hours dependent, so as long as the job gets done, nobody really cares much.

I wouldn't work anywhere that did not understand that my dc come first. DH or I would leave work to collect them and one of us would be at home with them. When they were little, my manager on occasion even allowed my children to spend time at my work during the school holidays and the same went for other colleagues who had dc.

My workplace sick leave policy covers the first few days of child illness (any longer and I guess it's unpaid leave or arrange alternative childcare). I've only had to leave once so far and my manager said he understands, he has children too.
But my bloke is the main one to pick DS up as he has a lot of flexibility in his work.

My husband and I have tried to take it turns to pick up when DD was ill. Whoever was the closest and had the more flexible diary on that particular day.

Both of us have had understanding employers and it has made us both very loyal staff members as we value the accommodating attitude we've been shown. We happily work beyond our work hours when the need arises, so have built up goodwill.

We're fortunate that our DD (now 16) has not had too many illness episodes. I really feel for parents who's child suffers with regular bouts of ill health. The child's wellbeing always comes first, but it must be difficult to have to have conversations with employers about issues you have no control over.

Op sorry if this comes across as rude it's not meant to, but I'm just interested to understand why you asked this if you don't have children?
Is it something you worry about out in a plan for children in the future perhaps?

This is what annual leave is for. When ours were little and we couldn't WFH with them we'd both keep a week of annual leave in reserve to the end of the year so that if they were ill we could take days off with them. We'd carry over to the next year if it wasn't used. Those two weeks covered most sicknesses but also gave us time to put in place longer term solutions if needed.

Now our kids are at secondary we can WFH when they are about because they don't want need constant attention.

I really feel for parents who's child suffers with regular bouts of ill health. The child's wellbeing always comes first, but it must be difficult to have to have conversations with employers about issues you have no control over.

I've got a colleague who has a child who has such complex needs they can't use childcare. They and their spouse both work PT to cover the care of their child. Another colleague didn't work while their child was young for similar reasons then came back to work later.

We weren't in such an extreme situation but DS was in and out of hospital with his chronic condition as a small child and we used up loads of annual leave covering it so DH took unpaid parental leave as well (which he used for holidays because they were planned unlike the hospital stays).

Annual leave - I keep half of mine for this

However, if there is a wfh possibility then it's not issue just finish off when they go to bed

Realistically as I run a team if one of their children fell ill I would let them finish and say do what you can while they sleep but We've all been there

Those without kids I do the same with their pets to be fair as everyone deserves a bit of care

It's a balance of building loyalty and trust if you work hard and don't take the piss generally then you will get a lot of slack- if you are the other way then not so much

You need to also manage the teams perception also - as you don't want to build resentment (hence those without kids getting more flexibility for pets etc)

If a child is il.and needs picking up then a parent had no choice but to pick the child up or get someone else to pick them up.
Good employers understand because on the whole it's better to keep a good employee.
I wouldn't want to work somewhere without family friendly practices