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Original poster

What happens if your children are sick whilst you're at work?

125 replies

Ditaditaddddita · 13/02/2025 23:21

Say if the nursery phone you whilst you're at work and say your child is sick, can you come and collect ASAP. Are you able to leave work for this? What if this happens regularly, would you not face disciplinary action?

I have no children of my own, but this is something I've wondered about and that worries me.

OP posts:
SoftPillow · 14/02/2025 07:59

I have an ‘easy to leave’ job, so I would just leave and collect. I’d cancel any meetings and explain why. Same for my team, never any question or issue.

DH also has an easy to leave job but he’s miles away and it would take him hours to get back.

MIL and our nanny are back ups and have each collected in an emergency when we could not.

I do also wonder on those jobs where you can’t leave or have a phone with you, that must be much tougher

PurpleThistle7 · 14/02/2025 08:01

It's super rare for us but yes - one of us leaves work. My husband used to travel a lot so that left me so I've only ever had flexible office jobs with reasonable bosses who trust me to prioritise properly - but that's obviously not true for everyone.

Pertner · 14/02/2025 08:03

I'm a teacher (secondary) and work are understanding if this happens - there is definitely an expectation that parents take it in turns to though rather than one always been on call to do this (if that is possible). If I am called to cover at last minute during a 'free' it is very likely to be for this reason.

When it happened to me the in-laws (who live locally) would usually help out or if DH was working from home he would do it - so I think I only had to leave once.

Wolfpa · 14/02/2025 08:05

My work has a certain amount of emergency days you can use, if you have used them you would be expected to use holiday or take unpaid leave.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 14/02/2025 08:05

It’s a bit of a non-question really, because it surely depends on the job and even the line manager. If you are that concerned and you’re employed, take a look at their carer policy / see if they do flexi working etc. that would speak volumes. Mine is very flexible. My DH isn’t because it’s appointment based and self-employed so he loses money. We do have grandparents nearby too. In my experience childminders are more flexible than using a nursery.

Everydayimhuffling · 14/02/2025 08:05

One of us picks up, depending who can leave most easily. Usually that's DP, unless he's away or it's my day off. We pick up as quickly as possible, but that could easily be 45 minutes to an hour.

pearbottomjeans · 14/02/2025 08:12

Ditaditaddddita · 13/02/2025 23:21

Say if the nursery phone you whilst you're at work and say your child is sick, can you come and collect ASAP. Are you able to leave work for this? What if this happens regularly, would you not face disciplinary action?

I have no children of my own, but this is something I've wondered about and that worries me.

DH works from home when I’m working so he’ll go grab them. Fingers crossed this hasn’t happened yet (I only went back to work in Sept).

DH’s job is v flexible as he’s high up.

I work for a boss who also has 2 preschoolers so they’re very understanding. But logistically it would be a pain to essentially stand up my clients with no warning so ideally I wouldn’t leave in the middle of the day. Also I’m self employed (contracted to this boss long term) so if I don’t work I don’t get paid.

liveforsummer · 14/02/2025 08:13

everychildmatters · 13/02/2025 23:42

@Ablondiebutagoody Because sending a child into school who is still, or has very recently vomited, is bloody selfish. And unfair on the child.

If they tried that at my school (and many do) they'd get sent straight back home again, if they've been sick at school the evidence is there. Then you get the dc who tell you they were sick that morning at home. Those parents get a call too although if they lie and say it's not true you have to believe them

BogRollBOGOF · 14/02/2025 08:14

I couldn't just walk out, first the call would have to go through the office then cover needed to be arranged.
DH was more flexible on office days. Not if he's on site anywhere in the UK or abroad.
No avaliable family options. Friends all worked FT themselves.

I stopped working in the end as DS is autistic and struggled with childcare, but the nursery years were managable. It was school that got harder for us.

It was a relief not to be working when DS2 had a tough year of ongoing health issues and a seperate emergency surgery. That would have been hard to weather through.

Hall84 · 14/02/2025 08:15

Emergency leave, sometimes paid but mostly not. STBX works for the civil service so despite having more flexibility (and my job being more senior/higher earning) I had to leave and work at ridiculous o'clock to make time back or get help from my parents. Despite it not being a sector known for being family friendly I've been lucky enough to have 2 female bosses, who's children were only just older than mine so they understood.

Perzival · 14/02/2025 08:15

I have a son with complex needs, we didn't know the extent until he was around two/ three years old. At the time I worked part time for the LA and intended to go back to my 'proper career' when both my children were at school. Like many parents in this position I ended up giving up work completely. It just wasn't feasible to work due to sickness/ appointments/ paperwork/ sleepless nights.

southenglandartist · 14/02/2025 08:18

I'm a teacher. I'm the one closest to nursery and partner doesn't drive, it would be an hour for him on buses to get to her. I phone my Line manager and say I have to go, as soon as they send a body down to be in the room with the students I'm out of there. As a teacher we still have to drop and run sometimes! Luckily it's only happened twice in 18 months so I don't feel too guilty.

Twonewcats · 14/02/2025 08:20

Ditaditaddddita · 13/02/2025 23:21

Say if the nursery phone you whilst you're at work and say your child is sick, can you come and collect ASAP. Are you able to leave work for this? What if this happens regularly, would you not face disciplinary action?

I have no children of my own, but this is something I've wondered about and that worries me.

Why are you worried about it if you have no kids? Has a colleague been taking advantage? 🧐

reluctantbrit · 14/02/2025 08:25

I can drop and run, when DD was small it was normally DH as he was a lot more flexible but I did my fair share.

We had times when DD was suffering from mental health that one of us had to be at home as we had to collect at least twice a month. So every time DH worked away, I wfh. That was agreed with work.

We also had people locally who would help, her childminder was happy to pick up, some neighbours or a friend.

We had more issues with sudden transport problems than sickness though.

Medusa75 · 14/02/2025 08:26

everychildmatters · 13/02/2025 23:31

@Ablondiebutagoody Sod the 48-hour policy schools have, right?

They don’t have this policy for teachers.

wizzbitt · 14/02/2025 08:28

I'm a teacher as is DP and in my last school the head was not supportive at all. She showed no empathy despite having a (now grown) daughter herself. It used to get quite stressful if my DD showed any signs of illness but there wasn't much I could do. If she was ill then that was that. My partner and I would take turns though.

JimHalpertsWife · 14/02/2025 08:30

I could, as my job role is not so dependent on my being there right at that moment that I couldn't leave. Dh is a teacher so no he couldn't. However pn the rare occasion I am away for work, he would have to and his school would have to support that.

Rocknrollstar · 14/02/2025 08:33

Not at nursery, but DDs PE teacher rang me up when I was teaching and asked if I minded her taking DD home and putting her to bed as she had flu! She understood it was difficult for me to leave work - I was teaching at the time. I have had many phone calls over the years from DS asking if I could go and pick up one or other of the GC because they are ill.

Yesitriedyoga · 14/02/2025 08:38

I'm a nurse so my husband is the default parent for them to call, his work have never had an issue with him needing to leave. The one time they called me first my boss was fine with me leaving but I was very aware of the impact on the ward. DHs job is a bit more flexible so he deals with sickness on days I'm working and I deal with it on days I'm not.

Musicaltheatremum · 14/02/2025 08:39

I'm a GP and colleagues used to cover so one could pick up if child ill. We actually had a room upstairs in our surgery which had a TV and sofa so depending how ill the child was they could sit up there and watch TV or play on iPad. My husband looked after mine if they were unwell from aged 7&9 as he was retired on ill health grounds so was at home.

Completelyjo · 14/02/2025 08:41

everychildmatters · 14/02/2025 07:44

@Completelyjo And Mum is once again the "default parent" in terms of her work. Not good.
No wonder employers are "secretly" reluctant to employ women of a certain age. I'm not saying for one second that's OK, but I can see if from their pov.

It’s not always the mum.
I literally said in my comment my job was often hours away and DH would be the one with flexibility to collect.

Fuzzypinetree · 14/02/2025 08:42

Im a teacher, so is my ex. When I was in the UK, I got threatened with disciplinary action after I returned from maternity leave and DS kept getting sick for the first few weeks at nursery. Not just a bit off colour but properly ill with fever and vomiting. I then got it, too. We got better and he caught another bug...
I was told I couldn't have any more absence in the following six months. As if I was choosing to stay off. I quit and left a Year 6 job in the middle of the year. Sorry, not sorry.

We're abroad now and I get 20 paid child sick days by law anyway, as does my ex. If I get a call, I sort cover for my class and leave. SLT have never said a bad word about it and they do everything they can to help. I'm not off a lot anyway and I'm not taking the piss with it.

Laughinglama · 14/02/2025 08:43

helpfulperson · 14/02/2025 07:47

It would be interesting to hear from those in jobs where I imagine it is much harder to just leave. For example police office, surgeon, paramedic, GP, judge/court lawyer etc.

My job is as such- it can be difficult however my children are my priority. Unfortunately DH also has an equivalent job so it can be difficult.

On the rare occasion it’s happened it’s usually me who leaves. School go through the childminder who will collect in a timely manner and then have arrangements to contact me through more complicated routes if I’m unable to answer my personal phone at that point.

But ultimately once I’m aware - I notify my manager of the situation, do the best to ensure it’s safe and there’s a plan in place and I leave, there’s not really much other option the children are the priority.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/02/2025 08:45

I took emergency leave when my child was young and then worked from home with them when they were past toddler age. Someone on my team does this a lot because her partner can't leave his job (supposedly) to get the kids ever and they are sick often. People are frustrated sometimes at the situation though not at her, they feel a bit sorry for her as think her husband is taking the piss.

Brainstem · 14/02/2025 08:45

DH is the default parent at school/childcare. Only if he’s out of the country will they call me.

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