To be sat here crying

[ThatsLifee]

So my ex and I broke up a while ago now and within weeks he was with another woman. He is now taking the children away with her etc. I am just sat here crying as I knew this man for so so long and now he just feels like a complete stranger. Does it get any easier?

I just don’t understand how we was in a relationship for 20 years and he has become so elusive

It will and does get easier. He's a twat and your poor kids must be so confused. Focus on yourself your children and ignore what he does.

I just want to know that I will get through this and come out of the other side, stronger. I can’t even believe I thought I knew him, I am absolutely broken. He has just moved on like I meant nothing whilst I have cried daily for about 5 months

I'm sorry OP, it's really hard.

My ex-DH started dating someone 1 week after we broke up, he is now married to her. I spent a year or so utterly depressed and getting over the relationship, the fact he'd moved on so quickly without giving me a second thought was even more hurtful than the break up itself- he couldn't understand why.

I have come out of the other side though, and ultimately I'm just happy I'm not with someone so emotionally stunted and uncaring. You will be too.

You've been cast aside and you are grieving, you need to grieve and heal, but when you do you will heal stronger - and he will still be a shallow tw*t with the emotional intelligence of a slug.

Don't loom back with the rose coloured glasses. He's a dick, he's done you a favour by showing you. Yes your life has changed, but it'll be OK, you just have to find your new normal. Find some things to interest you, some hobbies, stop looking back with the rose glasses, told you already take them off and throw them in the bin. Find the new you. Good luck

Are you honestly happier now

How long ago did you split up? If it was over five months ago then I don’t think it’s unreasonable of him to be trying to move on, although him having her around your children isn’t in their best interests.

You will but it may take time. You have to get strong in your head. Realise you are in charge of your own life.

We split up 6 months ago but was with her within a few weeks

i was dumped after 12 years without a second thought because my ex met someone else. Didn’t care a jot about me. Seven years on it hurts so much.

If I’m honest, I think many (most?) men are emotionally and morally bankrupt. My best friend died tragically a while ago, and her devoted husband was on Tinder less than a month later.

How do they do it?

You definitely will get through it and be happier knowing that you're not wasting the rest of your time and life with someone who could treat you like that. Honestly, you'll be all the better for it

What is annoying is that it was me who ended it. I couldn’t put up with his selfish ways anymore he left me no choice to be honest.

IME people don’t leave long term relationships without having someone waiting in the wings. He’s a prick, forget him

Men can't manage alone. They have sold us a dummy that they are the stronger sex.

He’s also a shit parent. I can’t fucking stand it when people do this - break up the family and then expect their little children to be joyous over their latest shag 5 minutes later. Be expect to be told that “the kids love her” when they’re probably fa rising about throwing things at her but being civil for their dad.

These kids won’t thank him when they’re old OP meanwhile you have been a brilliant mum and they will see that.

Very sorry to hear this, OP.
I really hope you find yourself on to bigger and better things, but it must be so difficult right now. Do you have family / friends who can support you?

It’s really rubbish. He hasn’t thought about what has done to me at all, or the kids

The thing is I have to remove any thought of him being a nice person, as a nice person wouldn’t do that

How old are your kid OP? It’s really shitty that he’s done this. I’m betting once New Shag realises that being a stepmum isn’t like a Disney film she’ll move on to the next mug

100% this. He’s not nice. He’s selfish and a bad parent.

Fucking hell!!

It’s mental torture thinking about them together. He forced me to end it by treating me really badly. They had been ‘friends’ for a while before they got together and he always told me he never fancied her.

Yes, a million percent. I've also had time alone to work on myself- he's just gone from one long term relationship to another. Out of the two of us, he's by far the worse off.