About 3 years ago a long term friend's son (c 12) behaved highly inappropriately with my then same age DD, freaking her out. He didn't touch her but did pretend to 'lick out' her Teddy, kept asking her if she watched p0rn, said he was turned on by her and that his dlck was hard. All was witnessed by DD's friend who was also there. Both girls were horrified and left the room. Afterwards I contacted friend to say you need to know this happened - the other girl's parent also wanted to know the issue was escalated otherwise she was going to take matters into her own hands. Don't make a big deal out of it, but the behaviour needs to be discussed and nipped in the bud. She immediately made a big deal out of it - literally within seconds of being told (this was obvious from time of me speaking to her, then her getting back to me) - and he then of course denied it and her son 'never lies' (please note she knew he had issues with being engaged in online p0rn well prior to that).
I left her with the information but she clearly avoided me afterwards. Eventually we met up last year and she asked me why my DD was not punished, so I said why would I punish her for experiencing what she did? Friend goes on to say, having forgotten DD's friend was in the room and also witnessed everything, that DD had been humping him. After that I kept calm but in my head thought 'sod it, my DD comes first and this friendship is dead to me'.
Except she is now contacting me saying 'why are you avoiding me?'.
Do I:
YABU - You should reiterate what happened and why you feel a relationship isn't remotely tenable, not least of all because she victim blames
YANBU - Continue to ghost her - for your DD's sake and she's clearly not very good at reading the room anyway
[note, being a friend is definitely not an option]