To ask how many kids you have, their age, and how many hours you work a week?

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I'm curious how normal it is to work full time, 40+ hours a week with kids. I feel like everyone's life would be so much better if I did even just one day less. What do you do for an evening meal? I find this hardest and spend a fortune on convenience food (not take aways, but super easy comfort food) for the family. Does it matter if its a career? As in its worth it because it will pay off long term or if its just a job and you simply need to.

Aibu unreasonable to try and work out what is normal?

One child, primary school age, always worked full time. Partner too.
Evening meals: a mix of planning ahead (cooking a bit more during the weekend), cooking fresh when we can and quick meals when we are tired/in a rush/can't be bothered.

There are quite a lot of variables to be taken into consideration: for instance, we can both work from home several days a week, so we take turns for school runs and we have the flexibility of disappearing for 20 minutes for picking child up from school, or do some quick cleaning/cooking during a lunch break. Also, we pay for a cleaner and we have our groceries delivered weekly. As my other half has a similar type of job, we can share the load when it comes to looking after our child/clean/cook etc.
It would be very different if one of us was out early/returning late/working away.

In my experience no man or woman who has studied for multiple postgraduate qualifications and/or invested a lot in a career they enjoy would ever contemplate giving it up unless there was no other option. And no, they were definitely of a higher social class of origin than I was. But clearly not at all invested in whatever they had done for work.

For anyone interested, the last time it was properly surveyed, 1 in 4 mum's were not in work. (They may have had disabilities or been looking for work or chosing to be sahm)

Then of the 75% in work, over a third had some kind of flexible or part time arrangement but this was more when concentrated on 2 to 8 year old only.

They concluded just under half of mums in that age group worked full time. It was a couple of years ago so I would say the trend for full time has increased, especially with hybrid working g being a big thing.

So it's pretty normal to work full time and it's pretty normal to not work full time with young children. Both groups are pretty equal.

I have done various combinations of working patterns.

I have 3 children - 4 years between the oldest and the youngest so they have all been at a similar stage at the same time.

When they were preschool I was at home all day with them and worked a couple of evenings
When youngest went to primary I worked a few hours each day, then after a couple of years changed jobs and worked 9-3 each day.
Then as they older two went to secondary I upped my hours so that I worked 3 full days and 2 shorter days and the younger went to afterschool club a couple of days and DH picked them up on the other.
Once they were all in secondary I upped my hours to full time. DH wfh most of the time so is around when they get home from school.

I think this is a bit of naivety tbh. I have a masters degree and a postgrad law degree and worked as a solicitor. Multiple postgrad quals then. I was highly invested in my work and my career and had an international career for a while. I did have to give this up as i was on my knees, but it was not because I was not invested in what I did. Where my Dcs go to school there is a large cohort of upper middle class parents (if we are going to talk in generalities about social class) of both sexes who have high flying paths but had to steps back in order to cope with the natural changes that life brings- be that pressure for caring for children or older family members.

There is a phrase I like that a friend of mine uses; 'In this phase of my life'. In past phases I had a pretty important job and career. In THIS phase I have significant caring duties for a significantly disabled child. My DH originally stepped back as he had caring duties for a very ill father. Those are phases of life that many people hit- where priorities have to change- and where if you are fortunate you CAN change in order to meet those stressors head on. It's not about 'being invested' or how many degrees you have- it's about the complexities that life chucks at you and what you need to do in order to respond to that.

I have to say that in our area, my friends and parents of the kids friends the majority work full time or 4 days a week. There are a lot of WFH now too. I don't really know any SAHP now although did when they were primary age.

2 children. 10 months and 7 years. Currently on maternity leave but back next month and will be doing 12 hours (2 days in a school per week).

Two kids 7 and 4 and I work 37.5 hours per week. I worked part-time when they were younger but I’m a single mum now so don’t have the option anymore unfortunately, bills need to be paid! My employer is flexible and I work from home when I want/need to.

One child, aged 3 and I work 22.5 hours a week (3 full days). Pretty much everyone I know with children under school age works part time to some extent. Usually one day a week off, but it's not uncommon to work 3 days like I do.

Most people I know go back to full time when their kids are all in school. Some do 4 days hours in 5 days so they can finish early for pickups.

They’re adults now (18 and 21) but I worked FT since they were 2 and 5. They went to both sets of grandparents after school 1 day a week so those days they were fed by grandparents (albeit junk food!). I did a bit of batch cooking so maybe I’d cook bolognaise on Monday but we’d eat it on different days. They’d be up and dressed before going downstairs and I’d make packed lunches while they ate breakfast. There was a period of time where xh had a midweek day off so did the school pick up and made dinner that day but his contribution was minimal and when we split up it wasn’t really any harder.
I do think I have been catching up on my sleep for the last few years though! I don’t think the children missed out on anything but I never had any me time.
As Covid hit when they were 13 and 16, they were growing up, some of their activities stopped suddenly and they never restarted due to their ages, plus eldest passing her driving test in 2020, I suddenly had time for myself and no clue what to do, I’m still adjusting to that!

I have four kids and work full time, though mostly at home now. I have been full time all through, bar maternity leave.

At times I have had 2 hour commute to work (each way) and had to start very early (DH dropping off at nursery/childminder) and leave work early, and the kids were in childcare from opening to closing. Covid transformed that, and now I can wfh a lot and save the travel time.

Some people choose to go part time, some people choose to stay full time, some people choose to stop working altogether, and some have very few choices in what they can do and just get one with it!

The young kids years are short though (while very exhausting!). If reducing work or giving up work would impact your security long term, factor that in with appropriate weight. Just getting your head down and buggering through the nursery/primary years can pay off massively in terms of career/finances later. There's a lot of years post-children to think about.

I have three school age children and work 34 hours over 4 days from home. Would never go back to 5 days now to be honest!

DC are 10 and 7 and both DH and I work FT (35h for me). I'm mostly at home (1 day in the office) and can work flexibly to pick up at 3.30pm on Fridays. DH is hybrid, but tends to be in the office 3-4 days per week.

Previously we've had other work patterns and I would say how busy it is overall depends on age and stage of kids, whether you have to commute and how busy your job is generally.

The busiest thing for me at the moment is the evenings where we have activities - it's a rush to get them from ASC, feed dinner and get to activities for 6pm.

Career wise 4 or 5 days doesn't make a big difference for me. Main thing really is if I want to apply for a new job, it's helpful to be willing to work FT.

In terms of meals, our mid week ones are mostly quick: stir fry, quesadillas, fajitas, jacket potato with batch-cooked chilli, pasta etc.

Full time (37 hours).
Two DC, aged 2 and 5.

I have a 4yo (not yet in school) and a 7yo and I work about 30 hours a week self employed. I feel run ragged but don't earn enough so when DC2 is in school in September I'm definitely going to ramp it up to 36 hours min.

Oh and I'm much more of a freezer food mum than I thought I'd be

I work full time wfh 4 days office 1 day, single parent to 2, a 14yo and 8yo, I would find it close to impossible to work FT if I wasn't wfh due to lack of childcare near me, wraparound, little family help etc

Yes same! We just do simple stuff in the week like fish finger wraps, jacket potato with beans, pasta with a ready made sauce, ham, egg and chips etc. We try to put a bit of frozen veg or salad alongside them to make ourselves feel better.

1 child age 8, contract is 35hrs but i usually work more, thankfully flexibly. Office 2 or 3 days a week.
Husband also working full time, thankfully at the same company so has the same flexibility.

I think this is missing what hours the partner works?

We both compressed ft hours into 4 days. One 1yo in nursery 3 days a week.

I have one preschooler and work 30 hours over 3 days a week. I’d like to reduce this to more like 28 hours when finances permit just to be able to do some pick ups and feel less exhausted.
I online grocery shop as I can do it in my lunch break. Meal wise we eat similar each week and it is focused on what can be cooked in 15 minutes - sausages, salmon, stir fry, burgers, pasta dishes.
For the pre schooler on non nursery nights I batch cook or go for beans/eggs on toast, omlette, pasta and left overs

3 kids. 14, 11, 7. Middle one autistic in specialist provision so I have to work within school hours. (Childcare not an option for him). I work 3 days a week school hours in a primary school. Plus some extra hours invigilating exams when needed in a secondary school.

I feel constrained work wise by being a mum to an SEN child as it's not feasible for me to work more. My husband earns more and works a fair commute away. But I do enjoy being around for my kids mornings and after school. The choice isn't there for me to make though.

Single mum to a 10yr old. Work full time in a senior professional job with lots of flexibility

I think a lot depends on the type of work you do - if you have an office job, especially if it is WFH at least part of the time, it's a lot easier to be full time than if you work a more physical/on your feet type job

I love my slow cooker as with 3 kids at 3 schools and the older and youngest having lots of activities I'm also the transport service! So curries and stews in the slow cooker are so helpful. Then we got gifted an air fryer, despite resisting the hype and imagination convert as it's so quick! So if I get back I'm at 5.30 from swimming or music lessons I can have a good salmon or chicken meal ready quicky.