To ask how many kids you have, their age, and how many hours you work a week?

[TemporaryPosition]

I'm curious how normal it is to work full time, 40+ hours a week with kids. I feel like everyone's life would be so much better if I did even just one day less. What do you do for an evening meal? I find this hardest and spend a fortune on convenience food (not take aways, but super easy comfort food) for the family. Does it matter if its a career? As in its worth it because it will pay off long term or if its just a job and you simply need to.

Aibu unreasonable to try and work out what is normal?

I see far more mums working full time on mumsnet than real life. Generally primary aged are working part time or not at all locally, some full time but still sharing the school run while working from home.

I can't think of any of our DCs peers who have a full time working out of home mum. The closest to it still drops the DC off each morning, goes into work with an adjustment for 9.15 and finishes at 4, so not quite full time and she seemed stressed when talking about it even then. I don't see how anyone could really manage everything that needs doing to work 9-5, the DC would need to be up early to go to breakfast club, having dinner late and then straight to bed in order to get enough sleep.

4 children aged 10 and under
My partner works 30 hours, I work 40
I've always worked 30-45 hours since my third child but back then my partner stayed at home

2 kids.
DS1 is 8yrs old. DS2 is 3yrs old.

I work FT, 5 days per week.
DH recently dropped to 4 days per week. Will go back up to FT/5days once DS2 is in school in Sept.

We use nursery for youngest, after school club a few times a week for eldest and breakfast club once a week too, and then grandparents help with pick ups once a week too. It works for us, but when you add in trying to get kids to clubs it does feel like the weeks fly by in a bit of a blur! It's all temporary though.

Thankyou for this thread! I have 2 DC, both in primary and I’m about to return to full-time work as I head back to my career after part-timing it in a lower paid role which just kept things ticking over. I can’t wait to get back into it but I am nervous about the impact on family life. I’ll be able to carry on doing drop-offs but few pick-ups.

That may say more about your social group/social class/level of education, though. The only place I’ve ever lived where being a working mother was at all unusual was a village in the midlands were there were two working mothers out of DS’s class of 24 children. I would characterise it as somewhere with low educational achievement and expectations — it’s the only place where I’ve seen women think it’s ‘natural’ not to work..

DH and I have always worked FT, but were senior and very flexible, so DS never needed much paid childcare once he started school. I think he did afterschool club twice a week, and breakfast club one day. Not everyone works 9-5.

Kids are 6 and 4 (4yo in preschool). I work full time, probably averaging 50hr weeks. DH is self-employed so can work flexibly.

He picks the kids up after school 2 days a week, nanny does 2 days a week, and I do 1 day (usually end up working once they’re in bed). I think we have a good balance. Working fewer days would have been nice when they were smaller, but now both in school hours we wouldn’t get the benefit.

I have a 7 year old and a 14 year old. Recently started my first full time job in a very long time, 40 hours a week but I often do more because there's so much to be done. I'm finding it difficult with cooking too, choosing foods that are quick and easy to cook but even then some days I just don't have time or energy for any cooking and we have sandwiches.

9 year old and a 2.5 year old, I work 40 hours plus extra as both myself and husband have busy jobs. I tend to log in after bed time to do any additional hours, and my work is quite flexible in that I can still do school run etc. food wise, the littlest has her dinner at nursery so only really needs a snack when she gets home. Eldest, meals for the eldest are generally meat and veg or nuggets, pizza etc, not the best, but luckily she'd happily have the meat, potatoes and veg option most nights. Batch cooking is also quite handy at weekends, I make up bolognaise for the week and precook pasta and freeze it

I have 2 dcs aged 6 and 2. I work 6 hours a week. DH works 35 hours. Most of my friends work pt (although usually longer than me), hardly anyone works more than 4 days. I have investment income though and don't need the extra money. I batch cook a lot though as I'm out of the house most of the day.

30 hours a week, generally 3x 10 hours shifts, 4 kids aged 10 to 17. Is retail so don’t know my days or hours (supermarket open until ten some days) so a lot of juggling where dh has to take the hit and wfh then be seen a lot the rest of the week😉 I was thinking the other day how many of my friends do four day weeks with kids but all said the jump down in wages is hurting them but they wouldn’t trade it

No it's a well off area with a generally good level of education. (South West England)

32 hours a week TTO.ds 10.

2 kids age 8 and 3, always worked full time 37hrs a week, but now do it over 4 days so I get an extra day off

I have a 9 year old and 11 year old and work full time. Have always worked full time, but took full 12 months Mat leave when they were each born. Life is busy but manageable.

We both worked FT with small kids, DH had to travel overseas because of his research and his being overseas admissions tutor and would do shit like bugger off in to the Malaysian jungle for a few days or be canoeing up the Amazon and be out of contact. I had to go to London on occasion from up North.

We just did it, I am however a very high energy organised person. I did also have a cleaner. I always did the cooking as home before DH always, he used to go in later so he could drop kids to school, it meant he got them ready as well. I used to start my day really early so I could often collect them from school. We had a lot of flexibility in our sector, higher education. We also had a good breakfast and after school club at the school that was flexible. We also had hardy little souls that were almost never ill.

My Dad owned a restaurant and taught me how to cook and I worked in kitchens when at school so I am a confident fast cook. I got DS a job as a kitchen porter as my friends BF was head chef in a bistro pub. I knew just how useful it was. Get yourself a slow cooker, really easy, did this when I knew I was going to have a long day and not be able to get kids from school.

Mine are both in primary - we both work four days a week

But TBH the day off is really more about getting some time to ourselves than it is about the kids. Though it is useful for fitting in the kids activities. One day off a week isn't going to sort out dinners for 7 days

My kids get dinner at after school club 3 x a week which makes a big difference. They get home at 6 those days and pretty much straight in the shower and then bed.

I am a fast confident cook and we use the oven timer a lot as well. Eg on DH's day off he preps a tray bake with chicken, potatoes and veg and puts it on a timer so it's done when he gets back from swimming lessons with the kids. We also do a lot of fish which is very quick, usually serve with couscous and veg, genuinely only takes about 15-20 mins

One child, 4 years old, I’ve worked full time since September when she started school, previously 4 days per week.

Pretty common when I live, most parents I know work full time, a couple 4 days a week but anything under that, or SAHP, is rare.

Returned FT after mat leave and was able to take 1 day parental leave a week (not UK so system may be different). With 1 child it was incredibly difficult as he hardly slept. I did 90% nursery runs. Dh has a job with big career potential so it made sense for us to focus on that. I was moved to an admin team that had high work turnover so I didn't have to leave things on my desk, in that regard it wasn't too stressful but it paused any career progression. When leave ran out and I was back to 5 days FT it remained difficult and DH was under pressure to work longer hours and we were TTC and things were not going well. We made the difficult decision for me to give up and be SAHM. My employer had zero flexibility, if I had even had a half day a week I may have stayed but it was 40 hrs or zero. Money was tight but our risk paid off and Dh got a big promotion, I believe this is partly due to his boss knowing I was SAHM and dH was able to fully commit, the job involved staying late if there was a crisis or occasionally working in another city.

After 9 years at home and 2 more kids I work PT now after retraining, term time only. It's not a "career' job but as luck has it I love it. I have some regrets occasionally but on balance we both did what was best for all of us

This sounds like a slightly snobbish put down. You're assuming the poster and her friends are lower class than you.
You can also flip it around and say it's the richer families than can afford to have a SAHP.
I live in a well to do area. A lot of the mums from my children's primary school are doctors, lawyers, professors etc. Nearly all the mums worked part time when the children were very little. Some of the dads did, too, but mostly the mums. It's because they were well off that they could afford not to work for a while.
I work at a university and we have a couple of female academics who've gone part time since having babies.
I strongly support men going part time too/instead. My own father was a SAHD. It's good that more men are sharing the responsibility. However, there are still more women than men who stay at home, usually temporarily.
If both parents work full time that's also good, of course. I just didn't like your implication that only low aspiration, lower class women would be SAHMs.

My ds is 19. I worked 3 days a week from when he was 11 months and until he was 2 years old then 4 days a week until he turned 3. I then worked full time after that but was on a longterm absence for a year when he was between the age of 5-6. Worth mentioning that i worked short days in a. school so had all the school holidays off which was great. Dh took ds to school before sleeping as he worked nights and Mum and dad and il's collected him from school. Continued in this vein until longterm sick from September 2023. I'm returning later this year, just working 2 days a week permanently.

I have 2 children aged 5 and 14 and work 30 hours a week.

I do find it interesting how different different areas are on this.

Of my group of friends, almost everyone is full time, only a handful of women I know with young children are 4 days a week and I literally don't know any SAHMs of school age children, just not really a thing in my experience

I work 37 hrs a week, my children are 17yrs and 14yrs.

I used to work less hours when they were smaller mainly trying to juggle childcare pickups and drop offs. Now now they take themselves to school which is a 5 minute walk away, I mainly work from home although do travel quite a bit with work.

I have a nearly 3 year old and another on the way - I work 27 hours (over 3 days)

Three children aged 8, 6 and 4. I was self employed for a while then went back to full time work when the middle child started school. Cut down to be working equivalent of 90% of full time hours over five days but still found it too tough. Have quit all together and have work life balance again.