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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you (also) just ignore your "required" days in the office?

377 replies

Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:33

I am supposed to do two days. But the office is a minging hotdesk box full of coughing weirdos and the toilets are smeared with shit by 910am.

I can't do my job well in the office so I just don't go. I do manage people and they seem to appreciate the flexibility (half go into the office sometimes, half never do, we perform well).

Anyway it's been a real eye opener for the power of low key just defying silly rules.

Anyone else?

(If they cracked down I'd go elsewhere)

OP posts:
LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 09/02/2025 09:35

If I did this unfortunately my bonus would be withheld 👍 but YANBU

FrogsLoveRain · 09/02/2025 09:35

"Smeared with shit"

Bloody hell, that's grim. Don't blame you!

NoDramaLama55 · 09/02/2025 09:36

I DO do my required 2 days in office. Dh has to meet a quota per month of 9 days and he does this,

Tbh where I have worked has been strict in mandating this and we recently had a reminder about expected days and also to people managers to ensure it's being met. I don't mind it but if I worked somewhere that has poo smeared in the loos I would wonder more about my colleagues and probably look elsewhere based on that!

Original poster
Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:37

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 09/02/2025 09:35

If I did this unfortunately my bonus would be withheld 👍 but YANBU

Yeah I get it's not possible for everyone. My workplace is heavily unionised and I get all my remuneration through salary and pension.

OP posts:
Eraclea · 09/02/2025 09:37

the toilets are smeared with shit by 910am

No, I wouldn’t be going into an office with shit on the toilet walls. But that is not to do with obeying rules or not - it’s just not an environment anyone should be expected to deal with.

Original poster
Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:38

I've worked in a LOT of offices and the toilets are always rank btw

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 09/02/2025 09:38

I'm supposed to go in once a week. I've not been in since the beginning of December.

DappledThings · 09/02/2025 09:38

No. It's one day a week, on a set day. A good number of people voluntarily come in at least one more day. I would if it wasn't for child and dog care being an issue.

We don't have grim toilets though.

Original poster
Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:38

Eraclea · 09/02/2025 09:37

the toilets are smeared with shit by 910am

No, I wouldn’t be going into an office with shit on the toilet walls. But that is not to do with obeying rules or not - it’s just not an environment anyone should be expected to deal with.

No I mean in the bowl it's not quite walls bad

OP posts:
CaptainFuture · 09/02/2025 09:38

FrogsLoveRain · 09/02/2025 09:35

"Smeared with shit"

Bloody hell, that's grim. Don't blame you!

Absolutely! How on earth do people think that's acceptable!

ScaryM0nster · 09/02/2025 09:38

I do, and it infuriates me that there’s no enforcement / follow up on people that don’t.

I also have childcare for all my working hours as per our policy. And it drives me round the bend that there’s no enforcement or follow up on people
who don’t.

QuizzlyBears · 09/02/2025 09:40

I work in the office full time and we have wonderful cleaners and facilities managers who make it a clean and pleasant place to be.

Your defying the rules, no matter how silly you deem them, is probably indicative of your attitude to work overall and the modelling you give your staff, so you’re probably better off elsewhere anyway, it sounds like it’s not the job for you.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 09/02/2025 09:40

My work are very very strict with the one day in the office thing 😩

i don’t mind going in at all but there is no flexibility as its a set day every week (people did take the piss to be fair, it was amazing how many people would only be able to get a dr or dentist appointment on that one day of the week 😀 or who had a bit of a sniffle and didn’t want to infect anyone….it was always that one day!)

berksandbeyond · 09/02/2025 09:40

Well as long as you don't complain if you get sacked YANBU.

the company DH works for gave everyone the choice - 2 days in the office or change to a remote contract but you lose your London weighting. Someone decided he didn't want to lose the money but hasn't been in since, because he got a lockdown dog that he doesn't want to leave. It's not gone unnoticed and it's not going to end well for him...

Original poster
Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:40

ScaryM0nster · 09/02/2025 09:38

I do, and it infuriates me that there’s no enforcement / follow up on people that don’t.

I also have childcare for all my working hours as per our policy. And it drives me round the bend that there’s no enforcement or follow up on people
who don’t.

I think sadly a lot of the bad bits of office culture are enforced because "Nancy will be upset if she goes in and you don't".

Maybe Nancy needs some amigas.

OP posts:
PickledElectricity · 09/02/2025 09:41

Same here, I do one day a week instead of 2. I just find it a tiring, stressful waste of time. My toddler is in nursery and I hate being so far away if anything should happen, and there's a loud prick in the office who takes his calls at his desk at top volume. It's distracting, it's annoying, and I'd really rather not, thank you.

There are rumours circulating that they're going to increase the requirement to 3 days and link attendance to your bonus. If that happens I'll re-evaluate my job and plans.

Eraclea · 09/02/2025 09:41

Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:38

No I mean in the bowl it's not quite walls bad

Show quote history

Not sure how I managed to misread that - was genuinely horrified!

Yeah, this would still be bad enough for me to stay away if you can’t reliably access a clean toilet.

RockahulaRocks · 09/02/2025 09:41

No, we’re 2 days a week in the office and the CEO has made it known she’ll have no hesitation to revert to 5 days in the office if people don’t comply. It’s a relatively small industry so simply leaving to move to another company isn’t as easy as one may think.

Boxalot · 09/02/2025 09:41

ScaryM0nster · 09/02/2025 09:38

I do, and it infuriates me that there’s no enforcement / follow up on people that don’t.

I also have childcare for all my working hours as per our policy. And it drives me round the bend that there’s no enforcement or follow up on people
who don’t.

I don't understand this attitude.

Original poster
Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:42

QuizzlyBears · 09/02/2025 09:40

I work in the office full time and we have wonderful cleaners and facilities managers who make it a clean and pleasant place to be.

Your defying the rules, no matter how silly you deem them, is probably indicative of your attitude to work overall and the modelling you give your staff, so you’re probably better off elsewhere anyway, it sounds like it’s not the job for you.

I'm a senior manager - I was promoted during COVID and would never have managed this in the before times because an office is literally a disabling environment for me. WFH has been a blissful revelation. I'll never go back in. I hope that offices are generally abolished (I'm not going in so cleaners and office managers can continue to have jobs).

OP posts:
Moremillshake · 09/02/2025 09:42

How can I get a job like this?

SUPerSaver721 · 09/02/2025 09:42

You must work with toddlers. I work full time in an office (no working from home) and never once has the toilet been left with poo up the sides of the toilet bowl. I think people who work from home exaggerate about what the office is like.

Original poster
Everythingisnumbersnow · 09/02/2025 09:44

RockahulaRocks · 09/02/2025 09:41

No, we’re 2 days a week in the office and the CEO has made it known she’ll have no hesitation to revert to 5 days in the office if people don’t comply. It’s a relatively small industry so simply leaving to move to another company isn’t as easy as one may think.

Ugh that collective punishment attitude makes me sick. Hope she ends up with some massive domestic problem to manage that would be easy with WFH but necessitates part time or early retirement without (which is reality for a lot of workers).

OP posts:
MuggleMe · 09/02/2025 09:44

We have a team meeting once a week in person so can't swerve it. But as a part timer I stated I wouldn't be in another day (even though I work over 5) and it's been accepted.

I think as a dept head or high level manager you can set your own ethos that works for your team. My DH was supposed to be in weekly according to the company wide directive but was 95% WFH.

PensionConfusion24 · 09/02/2025 09:44

ScaryM0nster · 09/02/2025 09:38

I do, and it infuriates me that there’s no enforcement / follow up on people that don’t.

I also have childcare for all my working hours as per our policy. And it drives me round the bend that there’s no enforcement or follow up on people
who don’t.

This just sounds so officious to me. And I have childcare too for the hours I WFH.

But in fact I do attend my mandated days, it's strictly enforced at my (public sector) workplace to the point of performance improvement plans.