To liquidate everything when I get to 60 and live in luxury hotels until the cash runs out

[Everythingisnumbersnow]

Just thinking who wants to be old anyway plus I really resent the idea of all my money going to dodgy offshore small business owners (aka care home owners).

We'll see how it goes but I'm pretty excited about this.

On another note, I am finding it quite expensive to procure travel insurance for long stays over the Winter in Europe, not anywhere else. See, I'm over 65 and have a pre existing condition (not life threatening). The quotes for trips of over 30 days are huge. But if I ever decide to overwinter somewhere I'll pay it as part of the package. It stings a bit though! The EHIC (EU health card) is not enough I don't think anyway. But I know lots of my age who chance it and figure that emergencies will be looked after, then they are prepared to pay as you go for doctors and prescriptions for acute illnesses etc. Well we have to pay for them here in Ireland anyway, so that doesn't come as a surprise to us!

It's repatriation home if seriously ill or injured that's the issue for me. I would not like to be in a foreign hospital for months. If I die while away, that would be a quick cremation abroad and an "urn" funeral back home. No need to repatriate my ageing corpse and it would only cost my loved ones the cost/legals for the cremation and the flight there, (and back with the blessed old urn with me inside!)😊

The so called "rich" will always be that way, nursing home or not. Under the scheme they will pay proportionately the same as everyone else. No one HAS to avail of the scheme as it's optional, so people can pay their own way without recourse to the Fair Deal if they want. Many do, since in some circumstances it makes no difference depending on financial circumstances. If they pay as they go, all their assets remain intact, and I presume that would apply in UK also if people have the means. The Fair Deal is designed for those who may not be able to pay the monthly fee up front, but who still have assets and some income.

I don't care about any of that anyway, as long as MY needs are met and there's something left over. I read here about families having to sell every last thing owned to pay for care. That's not right either.

There aren’t that many purely council run care homes any more because they need the money from self funders to prop them up financially and because they’ve been sold off
Most have a mix of self funders and council funders.
Most people end up in these.
Obviously OPwouldnt be able to go to one that doesn’t take council funding but again, there aren’t many of those either.

So overall if OP needed a care home she’d get the same as everyone else whether she has the money or not

I like that Dutch idea. I think they have retirement communities in America as well, where you are independent but there's medical support if and when you need it, you have your own bungalow/apartment, organised activities if you want, etc.
Places billed as 'retirement communities' here seem to be tiny flats with astronomical annual fees. I looked into it for my parents who are looking at moving from their bungalow to a flat.

You have totally misunderstood the statistics. That is the percentage of > 65s living in care homes at any one time, not over the course of a lifetime! That figure is far higher. By the way, when I said 'care', I included those that need care at home as well as those in care homes. Care at homes costs money too. I know what the focus is and it will be to reduce costs for the local councils, so a lot of elderly folk at left without adequate care, with visits a couple of times a day, if they cannot pay themselves or do not have lots of family support.
Of course some people die at home or in hospitals but many do die in care homes. Just because it hasn't happened to your particular acquaintances, it doesn't mean that it isn't common. So yes, I do think you have been naive to the realities on both counts.

Sigh. I mean if my assets are c. £1m plus pension I can have a fab 15 years. Then if I am still ticking after that I can have a basic but with food remainder.

I am not naive. My mum is late 90s (not in a care home or with carers, fingers crossed.)
This might give you some idea of how many people I know - friends, relatives, her friends, etc - who have either been in care homes or not.
I know it's not a 'population figure' but please stop telling me I'm naive.

You are being unrealistic.
The likelihood is you will be alive at 75 and in reasonably good health.
Yes, you may be unlucky and die earlier from cancer, but statistically, you are expected to live to your mid 80s.
I don't know why you started your thread.

It's your money, your life, why do you need ask?

What's the AIBU?

You've had counter-arguments, but you won't engage with them, so that's that.
Sorted.

Yes, thank you.

I have several relatives who are 80+ and to take one couple as an example…yes, they do have physical limitations compared to when younger. One has had rheumatic and auto immune issues and the other has had a heart attack and some bladder problems. They are currently on a cruise and sending pics of them clearly having a great time in Greece, North Africa etc. Sure they can’t do every activity they would have when younger but they can still have a good time. Looking forward to coming back and seeing friends and family.

With respect, it doesn't sound as if you understand at all from what you posted does it? This is what you wrote 'Also- I posted this yesterday- only 2.5% of people go into a care home. The odds are that she won't'
That is why I challenged you on your misunderstanding.

Your mum and her friends are purely a few anecdotes. On a population level, a huge percentage of people need some sort of care as they become older and frailer. It's naive to suppose otherwise and the OP is right to consider this.

@Inyournewdress this is exactly it - my FIL has just moved at 85 and currently unpacking his 102 boxes and working his way through them at his own pace - didn't want the help I offered apart from a bit of bed making on day 1 - he's taken himself out for a nice lunch for last 10 days post move - whilst some are stuck at home and utilising carers , plenty aren't well into their 80s and still having a good life- yes he takes tablets , but he's in better nick and does more than plenty of 60 odd year olds

@rainingsnoring yes they do , but that need varies wildly - and can be for years or just a couple if years or indeed a few months- so I personally think OP planning on not being around at 75 is catastrophusing somewhat

I totally agree with that. I haven't read all the OP's posts, mostly because I disagree strongly with a lot of her comments and assumptions, although of course she may just be dreaming rather than seriously considering. If she has assumed that she will not live beyond 75, when she plans to have spent all her money, that is hopelessly naive too!

@rainingsnoring yep I always think about Roger Daltrey of the who who sang when in his 20s 'hope I die before I get old' - he's always asked about it and laughs about it now- still playing live and with his very good secondary business too

People have different views.
The op has been very live and let live, you do you and I'll do me. But others can't seem to get it... that what they like ie homes and gardens aren't what everyone likes.

Family visits and care from others. Cruises and hotels. Travel or staying local. Care homes or staying home and possible dying so you never have to go into a care home. A combination of all of this to suit.

We all make different decisions in life at all ages.

Many seem to have misunderstood that the op would be spending £1m or more by age 75 and then if still alive, ie changed her mind, she still has £30k pa pension, which is more than the average person has in pension pa and that is before state pension.

She will not be living in poverty.
Not a bad position to be in at over 75 and if the op is still willing to be alive.

On a side note, if people want to die, they should be allowed. You don't need state allowed euthanasia. Suicide has always been an option, people can be very ingenious when they actually are ready and willing to take their own lives.

Yes they may have less choices due to being ill and infirm or maybe not, a lot of people on here are mentioning active and quite well people in their 80s.

As before live and let live and die and let die.

How someone chooses to live and die, if not harming anyone is no one elses business.

Your life. Your choice.

I'd miss the comfort of home. But also wouldn't say no to a luxury hotel now and again!

But she's asking the question on AIBU. I don't disagree that it's her life and one should 'live and let live', but the premise of this forum is, 'Am I being unreasonable?' which indicates posters will receive opinions which don't match their own. If you want an echo chamber, this forum isn't the place for it.

I'd also add that the OP has only recently updated to say at 75 she'll just cut her cloth according to her pension income. At the start she stated and reiterated that she wasn't planning to be here beyond 75. That's why posters kept raising that point.

Of course it's up to her, and of course we aren't all the same. But the act of posting here suggests she actually wanted opinions about it.

@rainingsnoring

There's a difference between going into a care home and needing care. Many people are able to manage with carers going into their own home, some people even have full time home carers. Also a difference between a retirement complex, residential care and a nursing home so I imagine the percentages quoted about people needing a care home relate to a small percentage of the whole care needs spectrum.

No, the figures relate to the % of over 65s who are in a care home at any given time. Of course there are various ways of receiving care but all need to be paid for.

Of course people are entitled to make choices about how they spend their lives if they can afford to do so. However, the OP's intention is certainly not benign. She has clearly stated that she resents the thought of having to pay for her own care and has made remarks like 'fuck society' so intends to deliberately deprive herself of assets 'living the high life' and then expects tax payers to pick up the tab for her. Her attitude is extremely hypocritical; she openly doesn't give a damn about others in society but also expects the same society to pay for her once she has squandered a million on high end hotels and dining out.

Yes here everything seems to be on the cheap and tiny cupboard like rooms which I find abhorrent. I grew up in a very small house and I hated it. I’m quite claustrophobic so live the high ceilings of older homes. I hope you find some where, I know of somewhere similar near me but they are massively expensive affairs. Big gap in the market authentic value for money. I’ll not be partaking anytime soon.

I had a friend at school whose grandmother lived in a bungalow at the bottom of their garden. They had a lovely set up, we’d go for tea to grandmas after school and do home work, then up to the big house to play when her parents were home. Lovely set up and shared care before it was fashionable. Her parents had vision. The Dutch model is unique because it is totally mixed living. Young /old /families and single people.

Agreed.

I know that @rainingsnoring picked me up on my stats, fair enough, but the in the rest of my post I did say my experience wasn't at a population level.

I still think however, that being older than most MNetters, and having seen at least 3 generations of my own family, friends, and friends of my family, manage old age and care, my opinion is worth something.

I know of a few older people who did go into full time care and TBH it was their own choice for a multitude of reasons. They didn't want 'strangers' going into their home. Only a very few were in nursing homes where they needed ongoing medical care.

The average time anyone spends in care home is 2 years.
We've discussed this with our FA, with a a view to inheritance and our own needs/costs in old age.

My own experience of family, friends, etc etc and care homes is that they stay in one for a short time- my Gran for 2 weeks, my MIL for 6 weeks, right at the end of life. I know a few neighbours who were in for months / a couple of years.
The one I know of who went into a nursing home for 5 years was blind- their wish was for a live-in nurse, but they couldn't find one .

The aim now is for the elderly not to go into care, but to be supported by district nurses, carers, etc at home.

The whole issue of social care and NHS care is a hot topic. It needs radical reform. By the time the OP is 75 it may have changed a lot.

@ByWaryCrab we do have communities like this - we have a lovely one near us at Wadswick Green ( corsham) pool, beautiful cafe, lovely lounges, but as you say service charge is around £10k a year, and it's all 'buy'. We need more communities like this but for long term rent so people don't have to worry about total devaluation of these places- with monthly charges around the £1800 to £2000 level- to be fair anyone who has a home to sell of any decent value could then effectively live virtually rent free if they banked their cash and still have money free for extra care if needed- or needed care home facilities. We have a beautiful one in Bath too up on lands down which is available on shared ownership - great facilities and beautiful modern funky flats with nice big rooms - but your share outright, secure tenancy ,bank any left over funds and use that to pay the rent and service charge due - there are many decent options but many older people simply won't think sideways because they want what they've always had, ( which I do understand) garden, garage , spare rooms etc

I believe a good number of net contributors are fed up with the general attitude that they will always pay for everybody else.
So why not spend all their money, they have earned it after all, and then benefit from free care like anybody could?

I asked a PP earlier how it was different from someone who is not saving for their old age but going on holiday, and they didn’t answer. Or is it just rich people who have a moral duty to save?