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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Screen time at restaurants

82 replies

SMLSML · 07/02/2025 15:56

We've recently come back from a family holiday at Bluestone and when we went out for dinner both nights the majority of parents used screens at the table for their kids (ages probably from 1-10). We've never done this as our 4 year old has always been happy enough colouring or joining in with us but she's now started to notice other kids and asks for her tablet or to watch a show. To be clear I'm not judging other parents that do do this, it's more of how do we say no to our little one without her feeling like she's the only one and missing out. I don't want to give the tablet to her as I feel it means she doesn't learn to sit and engage plus if other kids weren't on them she wouldn't ask. As I said, I'm not judging as we do use screens for long journeys and other things, it's just how do we tell her why she can't, as 4 is still quite young to understand 😞

OP posts:
PolarBear4788 · 07/02/2025 15:58

"Different families have different rules about all sorts of things. Our rule about thus is no phones or tablets at the table"

PolarBear4788 · 07/02/2025 16:02

I'm with you on this. We didn't let our DD use tech at the dinner table at home or when eating out. Much nicer to have a conversation. She's a teen now and sometimes the only decent conversation we get with her is over the dinner table 🤣

mumonthehill · 07/02/2025 16:05

I find it so sad to see kids on tech when out having a meal and our dc have never done it. We have always enjoyed eating and talking together even in those harder toddler years when we had books and colouring with us.

MissyB1 · 07/02/2025 16:08

You just say "we like talking to you at the table, and we love seeing your brilliant colouring ".

Montuaklighthouse · 07/02/2025 16:09

The old ‘I’m not judging but…’.

Surely you have enough of a brain to work out what to say to your own child, without having to write a thinly veiled judgy post asking for help with this..

yakamoza · 07/02/2025 16:10

Regardless of the child's age, this sort of thing can only be done by example, i.e. if you as a family at dinner are all engaged in a conversation and engage your kids in it too, I don't see where the devices would come into it. When my son got older (to teens), I used to tell him and my husband at dinner table/restaurants etc that I didn't want us to have any devices at the table and we all just talked, i.e. the same rule for all.

mamajong · 07/02/2025 16:14

Each to their own, we tend to have no screens/phones during meals but occasionally relax that if we are eating out with friends and family whose kids do have screens. Like with other parenting aspects, you just say everyone has their own rules and these are ours.

Lmnop22 · 07/02/2025 16:19

Don’t bring the tablet to dinner then you don’t have to explain….?

Not sure why you’d have it anyway at a restaurant if you’re so against their use at the table!

Original poster
SMLSML · 07/02/2025 16:20

Thanks all, great idea on the own rules bit! Definitely wasn't trying to do a thinly veiled dig post as someone suggested 🤣 we use screens too so I'd be judging myself 😅 as I said, our little one asking caught us off guard in the moment so didn't think of something to say straight away but will definitely be using this moving forward, thanks all 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
SMLSML · 07/02/2025 16:21

Lmnop22 · 07/02/2025 16:19

Don’t bring the tablet to dinner then you don’t have to explain….?

Not sure why you’d have it anyway at a restaurant if you’re so against their use at the table!

We didn't have it with us, that's what I'm saying, we don't use them at the table, my little one saw other children at other tables with theirs 😅

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 16:22

Yanbu to want to keep your mealtimes screen free. We do too. However what other families do is up to them and its on you to say no to dd.

If any of them are listening without headphones you are welcome to go tip your drinks over their parents though Grin

TheChosenTwo · 07/02/2025 16:25

You’ve clearly taken a stand against it for a reason, just tell her what that reason is in an age appropriate way.
’We’d rather play a game.’ ‘We’d prefer to colour in with you, it’s more fun.’
It’s not difficult enough that you would need to ask strangers what to tell your 4 year old 😂

nutbrownhare15 · 07/02/2025 16:28

I agree. We are luddites with technology so don't use screens in the car. I want to start a rule this year of no phones at the table for me and DH as we do occasionally use them.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 07/02/2025 16:29

I've seen babies, less than 1, with phone propped up in front of them in restaurants.

stargirl1701 · 07/02/2025 16:30

We never allowed this with autistic DD1 or NT DD2. We just had 'going out bags' with notepads, pencils, books, colouring books, etc. DD1 also had fidgets and ear defenders.

liveandlearn73628 · 07/02/2025 16:30

I say " just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you have to too"

The old if everyone jumped off a cliff ....

Lmnop22 · 07/02/2025 16:31

SMLSML · 07/02/2025 16:21

We didn't have it with us, that's what I'm saying, we don't use them at the table, my little one saw other children at other tables with theirs 😅

Show quote history

So say you don’t have yours with you and never take it out to a restaurant. Job done, no?

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 16:31

stargirl1701 · 07/02/2025 16:30

We never allowed this with autistic DD1 or NT DD2. We just had 'going out bags' with notepads, pencils, books, colouring books, etc. DD1 also had fidgets and ear defenders.

We've only just retired our "going out bags" Grin even my Mum used to enjoy the little games and puzzles in it.

JessiesJ99 · 07/02/2025 16:36

This is parenting. If she's only 4 you've got a long way to go, right?
At every stage, there will always be other parents who allow things that you don't.

Endofyear · 07/02/2025 21:25

Just tell her we don't have screens at the table. If she asks why other children in the restaurant are using screens, tell her that's their family rules and our family rules are that we talk to each other and enjoy meals together as a family.

MugsyBalonz · 07/02/2025 21:30

PolarBear4788 · 07/02/2025 15:58

"Different families have different rules about all sorts of things. Our rule about thus is no phones or tablets at the table"

Exactly this.

You don't need to make passive-aggressive comments about "we enjoy meals together" or "we talk to each other", no one is going to hand you brownie points for it (and just because those families are on their devices doesn't mean they don't also enjoy meals together or talking at other times). Just present it without judgement - that's their rules, these are ours.

Chickensilkie · 07/02/2025 21:32

Our first dc loved colouring and was so good to sit, no 2 broke all that and we didn't have any help I was also a full time mum so when we rarely went away I did like to eat in peace which meant tablet

MsFogi · 07/02/2025 21:35

With any red lines for our family (whether about what the dcs did at the table or other things) we always said "Our family doesn't do that". And that was that - no discussion, our family does x other families do y - it's just how it is if you are a dc in family x and it happens to be different in family y.

MugsyBalonz · 07/02/2025 21:38

Whenever my DC have said "but so-and-so's mummy lets them..." I point out I'm not so-and-so's mummy, I'm your mummy and I say...

Errors · 07/02/2025 21:40

I will probably get flamed for this - I think DS was a bit older when he first asked if he could watch something on my phone while we were out. I said absolutely not as it will rot your brain.
Probably not my finest parenting moment but it worked 😂