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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report being approached by homeless people in supermarket car park

91 replies

kiwiquickly · 07/02/2025 04:00

My local large supermarket has a car park (no coverings/roof). I go to this supermarket maybe once a month. I think maybe 40% of the time I am approached by a homeless person in the car park. Today, just as I'd parked up in the parent&child bay, a man knocked on the car window which immediately startled me. I think I am a bit over-nervous about these things but I usually lock the car doors immediately after I get in. He shouted loudly if he could speak to me. I said no, and he said please to which I said no again. He then walked off, but I was too nervous to take out DD and go to the lockers. We were there to use the Amazon lockers which are outside in the car park and I was worried I might have annoyed the man by refusing to speak to him and felt best that we didn't loiter. So we didn't get out of the car and drove away. Ordinarily I would not want to report something like this as I do feel for homeless people. They have nowhere to go, they're probably making whatever they can to survive and a car park probably does get a good footfall. But today it felt intimidating.

AIBU to report it to the supermarket and ask for more security presence outside?

Edit to add: I haven't already reported it. I am thinking of doing it. But will only do it if the consensus is that it is a fair thing to do.

OP posts:
Porridgeislife · 07/02/2025 10:06

verycloakanddaggers · 07/02/2025 08:38

I think entering an urban area and expecting never to have to speak to another human is a bit unrealistic.

If he'd sworn instead of using the word 'please', or been threatening, there'd be something to report. But he just asked a question.

So I think the suggestion of home delivery is a good option.

He was banging on her car window. That is threatening!

southpawsofthenorth · 07/02/2025 10:11

Being approached by a random man in a secluded place who insisted he “had to talk to you”, with your child in the car, wouldn’t put you at ill ease?

It certainly would if they were persistent and refused to go away. It sounds like this guy walked off though. Not really that scary on paper.

Agree you should always trust your instincts though.

SomeOtherUser · 07/02/2025 10:14

I have lots of sympathy for anyone homeless and I certainly don't think that they should be punished or derided, however I don't think a homeless man is doing himself or anyone else any favours by approaching women in their cars, knocking on their windows and demanding to speak to them.

I am surprised how many people here think that this is kosher - if nothing else, it seems like it could put the homeless person in harm's way if someone feels they're being intimidated.

BogRollBOGOF · 07/02/2025 10:57

I'd probably have waited until he moved away rather than driving off, but yes, report it to the supermarket. It is a security issue affecting the wellbeing of their customers.

Banging on windows and asking for money is intrusive and anti-social. Begging is an offence; most people are happy to leave a beggar to be if they're not being obstructive.

There is a high chance of someone begging like this being drunk, on drugs or mentally/ emotionally voltatile which is worthy of caution.

Lurkingandlearning · 07/02/2025 11:46

kiwiquickly · 07/02/2025 04:08

I don't know what exactly I'm scared of. But I suppose my immediate feelings towards any stranger that approaches me is NOT to be trusting. Maybe that's quite sad, but if it is someone that looks like they're a drug user/homeless I do feel nervous about being mugged or attacked. I just don't know. Even more so nervous if with my toddler.

I think the thing that felt threatening is he came up to the car and knocked on the window.

Edited

There are a lot of feelings you could have between fear to the extent of being unable to get out of your car and trust. The chances of someone assaulting you in a public space are slim. You should never trust anyone you don’t know well. Find some middle ground. Just be cautious of strangers, homeless or otherwise and go about your day

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 12:05

maddening · 07/02/2025 09:35

Begging can result in an arrest so yes banging on car windows to do so is a crime.

Having sympathy and looking to help the homeless is what we all should do, but that does not extend to condoning threatening behaviour - that includes approaching people to beg, in their cars or otherwise.

she did not say he banged on the car window, people are extrapolating.

asking someone through a car window to beg ins't a threat and i don't think the police do either, other wise the numerous people at every traffic light would be under arrest.

Porridgeislife · 07/02/2025 12:21

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 12:05

she did not say he banged on the car window, people are extrapolating.

asking someone through a car window to beg ins't a threat and i don't think the police do either, other wise the numerous people at every traffic light would be under arrest.

She literally says he knocked on the car window four lines in.

Floralnomad · 07/02/2025 12:26

If he knocked on the window just tell him to pack it in and go away , if you are parked close to the shop in a parent and toddler space I really doubt it was deserted .

BobbyBiscuits · 07/02/2025 12:29

Homeless people are allowed in the carpark the same as anyone else is. Maybe he was using the shop? Of course there's a high chance he was begging, but so what? Just politely decline.
It's hardly the crime of the century. Imagine how awful it must be to live in the streets in the middle of winter? I'd probably have offered him a coffee.

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 13:05

Porridgeislife · 07/02/2025 12:21

She literally says he knocked on the car window four lines in.

if someones knocks on your door would you describe that as banging?

if he was banging she would've said, considering she's felt scared already.

maddening · 07/02/2025 13:29

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 13:05

if someones knocks on your door would you describe that as banging?

if he was banging she would've said, considering she's felt scared already.

Knocking and banging are interchangeable yes, and he also shouted.

Munnygirl · 07/02/2025 13:31

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 07/02/2025 04:03

What are you scared of exactly? He doesn’t sound threatening?

It might not sound threatening to you but the op was scared so it was threatening to her

maddening · 07/02/2025 13:37

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 12:05

she did not say he banged on the car window, people are extrapolating.

asking someone through a car window to beg ins't a threat and i don't think the police do either, other wise the numerous people at every traffic light would be under arrest.

https://www.askthe.police.uk/view-category/?id=1abf981b-6ad2-eb11-bacb-000d3ad57443

Category

https://www.askthe.police.uk/view-category?id=1abf981b-6ad2-eb11-bacb-000d3ad57443

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 13:59

the car park is not a public place...

maddening · 07/02/2025 14:13

beAsensible1 · 07/02/2025 13:59

the car park is not a public place...

A car park can be considered a "public place" if it is accessible to the general public, meaning anyone can park there, like a car park attached to a shop or a public park

Screamingabdabz · 07/02/2025 14:20

I would’ve driven off too. No mother and child needs some random knocking and harassing them when they’re going about their business. I don’t blame you for complaining op.

These threads never go well though, you always get the holier than thou types who would’ve bought him a hot dinner and made friends with him for life. 🙄

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