To report being approached by homeless people in supermarket car park

[kiwiquickly]

My local large supermarket has a car park (no coverings/roof). I go to this supermarket maybe once a month. I think maybe 40% of the time I am approached by a homeless person in the car park. Today, just as I'd parked up in the parent&child bay, a man knocked on the car window which immediately startled me. I think I am a bit over-nervous about these things but I usually lock the car doors immediately after I get in. He shouted loudly if he could speak to me. I said no, and he said please to which I said no again. He then walked off, but I was too nervous to take out DD and go to the lockers. We were there to use the Amazon lockers which are outside in the car park and I was worried I might have annoyed the man by refusing to speak to him and felt best that we didn't loiter. So we didn't get out of the car and drove away. Ordinarily I would not want to report something like this as I do feel for homeless people. They have nowhere to go, they're probably making whatever they can to survive and a car park probably does get a good footfall. But today it felt intimidating.

AIBU to report it to the supermarket and ask for more security presence outside?

Edit to add: I haven't already reported it. I am thinking of doing it. But will only do it if the consensus is that it is a fair thing to do.

This is a bloke and I claim my five pounds.

All the Lols.

I agree with you op.
i would not want to be approached in that ( or any other situation).
I don’t want people asking me for money, knocking on loveyouu car or anything else like that.
I wonder how many young, fit looking males this man approached. I think we all know the answer to that that though.

Flaming auto correct.

I spend majority of my time with men so not easily intimidated but I had the same thing happen to me. It was dark the car park is well lit and he banged on my window, I just ignored him and he banged again then tried to find the handle of my car. I sat and waited until another man got out of his car and followed him in. Security told me they couldn’t do anything they’d rung the police and the police weren’t interested as it’s the car park is technically privately owned and security aren’t allowed to move them with force. The guy shuffles in and out so not there long enough to get a court order to move him.

I know people that have now reported to head office to try to deal with. Reality is you shouldn’t have to deal with it and the more people that report it the more likely it will be dealt with. My friends come out of an abusive relationship and she’s is terrified so has stopped shopping there.

It is scary to be approached by men when you are on your own. It's unlikely the supermarket will do anything, as you use the carpark at your own risk. Homelessness increased by 14% last year. In addition: 326,000 people are in temporary accommodation (17% increase in one year) - most of whom are in families with children. Another thing you could do, all of us could do, is put a small amount into a homeless charity a month such as Shelter who do amazing work. Without its issues you describe will increase.

Shelter are a campaigning organisation but they don’t actually house homeless people.

Crisis are another one worth considering.

None of this solves the problem of someone aggressively banging on car windows.

I'm so sorry that happened to you, but it's not particularly relevant to the question of whether someone who walked away when told that OP didn't want to talk to him should be reported as a nuisance.

I think a man you don't know knocking on your car window to presumably request money when you're alone with your child is quite threatening behaviour actually and I would feel quite scared.

It's not Doncaster Morrison's is it?

It's important to remember that a lot of aggressive beggars are part of organised crime syndicates or funding a class A drug habit.

Which makes them unpredictable and it's correct to fear or be wary of them.

I would report it to the supermarket and make it clear you will move your custom elsewhere if something isn't done.

Sadly, this country is becoming like Rome or Barcelona in terms of personal safety and ability to go about your day without being hassled or confronted.

I am sympathetic, I would also have driven off. It feels intimidating and they shouldn't be around supermarket carparks in my opinion.
I am very sympathetic with the folks in this situation but we shouldn't be made to feel unsafe when shopping. Report it definitely.

When I was a teenager ( in the States), a good friend was driving to school and she rolled down her window to give $5 to a man begging. She had the money in her to give to him, rolled down her window a crack and he slashed her hand with a knife. She needed stitches and was glad she only rolled down her window a tiny bit.

I would argue most of the men on the streets begging are mentally unwell and/ or on drink/ drugs.

Knocking on your window is aggressive and intimidating. I would have left too and you should complain to the shop.

Could you get your shopping delivered?

Come off it. It's not OK to approach a stranger, knock on their car window, ask to speak to them and when they say no, continue saying 'please'.

Of course that's intimidating.

I'm sure OP could get her shopping delivered but that's not exactly an answer to the problem, is it? People should be able to go about their business without being approached like this.

We tell women to listen to their gut feeling, you did that and drove away so good for you.

This. He asked twice, he went away.

Homeless people can approach you anywhere? Not sure there’s a solution as police aren’t gonna hang out In the car park all day. If it’s just the lockers you could leave dd in the car and go alone if she’s old enough.

he didn’t commit a crime, just asked a question.

This has started to happen around here too. They target the child parking areas.

I recognised one of the men as a member of the organised gang that swarmed the town centre a few years ago.

You were right not to get out of the car. A man with possible criminal affiliations, and almost definite substance abuse problems, is a threat to a woman with young children. They are relying on that to scare you into parting with your money.

I think entering an urban area and expecting never to have to speak to another human is a bit unrealistic.

If he'd sworn instead of using the word 'please', or been threatening, there'd be something to report. But he just asked a question.

So I think the suggestion of home delivery is a good option.

YANBU to report it, I would.

To be fair, homeless people can be chaotic individuals and behaviour isn’t always predictable.

And supermarkets can get security to patrol regularly and ask homeless people to leave/ ban them from premises if they approach people.

For intimidating someone to the extent they aborted their trip.

Most women would feel threatened in that situation and the man needs to access proper support, not ask people for money in car parks. Don’t shame women for feeling threatened - we’re allowed to have feeling and a sense of safety!