Should I feel upset about colleagues behaviour after following them on insta?

[ThatLilacHedgehog]

I followed my male colleague on instagram because I have been following a lot of my colleagues recently however he never followed me back, yet he posted stories. As well as this he was off with me in work today.

should I block him, unfollow him or what? I need advice

am i being unreasonable for being upset about this?

I make a point of never connecting with colleagues on social media except for LinkedIn. There are very few exceptions to this - fellow senior leaders who I’m genuinely friends with.

If you want to build a career then be careful around work friendships. Nothing wrong with being friends and going out but ultimately you need to be professional.

I have to say this is what I was thinking too!

If you were a 13 year old worrying that your friend isn't following you on social media, I could understand the angst, but you're a grown up OP.

Sorry, but you're definitely overthinking this. How old are you OP?

I don't really use insta (I have an account where I follow various celeb/influencer profiles, but don't post anything myself).

Having been working for almost 30 years, experience has taught me that work colleagues come and go and as much as they often feel like really good friends (as you spend so much time together), often when you or they leave you drift apart far quicker than you ever imagined you would.

I once heard someone say that you have two types of friends: friends for life; and friends for the moment. And there's nothing wrong with there being "moment" friends. They're there to serve a purpose to you, just as much as you are to them. You help each other through tricky times, or see each other through good times, and create memories along the way, but it doesn't mean you're destined to be in anyone's life forever.

Sometimes a work friend might fall into the "lifelong" friend category, but most will be "for the moment" friends.

So, the question as to whether you've embarrassed yourself will depend on what you've done. On the face of what you've said, you've followed him on IG, he's not followed you back. As long as you haven't gone into work crying "WHY HAVEN'T YOU FOLLOWED ME????" you're fine.

I imagine you're reading too much into him being "off" with you. Why would he be off with you just for you following him? If he was that bothered about people following him, he should lock his account down better.

I'm saying all this on the assumption that you're still young OP. As I've got older, I look back at things I did in my early 20's and cringe, but these are things we all do on the route to maturity!

should I block him, unfollow him or what? I need advice

Why would you block him? In the hope that he’ll notice and that it will create some drama - and attention for you? I can’t see any other reason why you’d block, unfollow or do anything, really.

Are you that desperate to be noticed? Why?

Yet out of all the people making the same comments about age, you only target me. Like an internet bully.

I must admit I wondered how old the op is, she could be a teenager in her first job I suppose.

However I've no wish to bully you, op, I don't know you.

You still haven't said why you follow colleagues on Instagram. It seems an odd thing to do. Please share why. I expect by now you realise you are being silly but that's OK, I'm an old woman and was silly at times when young. You live and learn.

I don’t think it’s actually that unusual to follow someone from work on Instagram. What IS unusual is to watch to see if they follow you in return and then throw a strop and hit the block button if they don’t.

Respectfully what are you on about. This is embarrasing.

I appreciate that this seems like a strange thing to be upset about to some people, but it's important to remember that social media can be all-consuming for others. It can really put people in a bad headspace and it isn't as simple as telling them to grow up and touch grass!

I recognise OP from some similar posts and I don't believe she is a teenager. Instead I get the impression she is very anxious about how she is perceived, paranoid about social interactions, and sadly overwhelmed by social media.

I agree with the suggestion of CBT or counselling to address some of her anxieties and to build some resilience.

Some of the unkinder commenters would be shocked at how many of their peers experience imposter syndrome, and just how disruptive that can be to an individual's wellbeing.

OP I suggest for your own health that you look into getting some outside help, as random internet strangers are not going to be aware of your own insecurities, and will not be mindful about what they tell you.

I wish you all the best!

Seriously overthinking it OP

You're work colleagues, not friends.
He doesn't have to follow you back.