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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taxi costs split - who should pay

158 replies

Airspice · 06/02/2025 17:46

Just wondering if I’m being an arse for thinking this so would like opinions!

Going on holiday soon with a good friend and my two teens (ds14, dd16) 2 week package longhaul, can’t wait.

We were discussing costs/kitty etc the other day and she said that we’d need to get taxis round and about quite a bit (she’s been several times before so knows the score) and we can just split the cost 4 ways and I pay 3 lots and she’ll pay 1. I was a bit surprised, I fully expect when we go for dinner, trips etc to pay for me and the kids but for taxis I would have just split it between me and her, if it was her with the kids I would never have suggested a 4 way split for taxis.

YABU - there’s 4 of you, so split 4 ways, she shouldn’t have to pay for your kids taxi
YANBU - that’s tight, it should just be split between the adults

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:49

Well, OP, you are free to subsidize anyone you please, but you can't unilaterally decide that they are obliged to subsidize your family.

You are three people, she is one. Divide accordingly.

I really detect an air of "single friend should be grateful we deigned to travel with her, and therefore owes us...."

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:49

Bingo, @tropicalroses

Loloj · 06/02/2025 20:49

I dunno - the kids are approaching being adults. If you were 4 adults sharing a taxi it would be paid 25% each so I don’t think she’s ridiculous in suggesting it- but perhaps a little bit tight. In the grand scheme of things how much are you going to end up spending extra on the taxis? Is it worth the hassle/awkwardness?

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:50

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:24

This sounds as though you feel you are doing her a favour to go on holiday with her, and that you are due some sort of financial concessions in return. If that really is your attitude it would have been better to decline the trip and spare her the obligation.

Show quote history

😂 think you’re overreacting here, we’re very good friends and I certainly don’t feel like I’m doing her a favour by going away with her, or expect financial concessions, hilarious! I was just explaining to those who suggested that her having to go away with my teens was horrific for her than she has in actual fact been wanting us to go with her for a long time!

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:52

Loloj · 06/02/2025 20:49

I dunno - the kids are approaching being adults. If you were 4 adults sharing a taxi it would be paid 25% each so I don’t think she’s ridiculous in suggesting it- but perhaps a little bit tight. In the grand scheme of things how much are you going to end up spending extra on the taxis? Is it worth the hassle/awkwardness?

Why is it "tight" to only cover one's own costs?

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:52

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:49

Well, OP, you are free to subsidize anyone you please, but you can't unilaterally decide that they are obliged to subsidize your family.

You are three people, she is one. Divide accordingly.

I really detect an air of "single friend should be grateful we deigned to travel with her, and therefore owes us...."

You couldn’t be more wrong here, there’s not one ounce of me that think she should be grateful we’re coming!! Funny!

OP posts:
ChonkyRabbit · 06/02/2025 20:54

Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:43

Some people are getting a little bit heated suggesting that I am ‘expecting’ my friend to subsidise my kids, that’s not the case at all, I was just surprised as I personally would have split the taxi between the adults if it had been her with the kids.

Cost splitting threads always get nasty. Somebody will diagnose you or your friend with narcissism before long.

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:55

tropicalroses · 06/02/2025 20:47

Easy to be generous on a hypothetical

Show quote history

I actually did go on holiday with her and her young daughter (11) years ago before mine were born, I do remember on a couple of occasions splitting costs between just us two, even though her daughter was included so no, not hypothetical at all really

OP posts:
OpenFox · 06/02/2025 20:59

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 06/02/2025 18:19

I’ll speak up for the friend. There’s three of you and one of her. If she shared a taxi with any 3 other people she’d expect to pay 3/4 . Why is it different because they’re under 20?

Because if they took their own taxis, she would take one and the OP and her kids would take another so the ratio of costs would be 50:50.

By getting one taxi it is half the cost so should be split 50/50 too.

Loloj · 06/02/2025 21:01

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:52

Why is it "tight" to only cover one's own costs?

Show quote history

Well I’d personally split between the adults if I was the friend (as the cost would be the same if it was just the 2 adults) - so the friend is effectively saving money by having the taxi shared 25/75. But like I said I can see why she is suggesting it and I don’t think it is a ridiculous suggestion either (as some other posters seem to think). It is not worth falling out over and I’d just pay the extra - even if I wouldn’t have gone about it that way.

FoodieToo · 06/02/2025 21:02

I think taxis charge per head - well it would certainly be nore expensive in Ireland for 4 people than 2.
I definitely would not expect to share the taxi evenly as I have kids with me .
They increase the costs so the parent should cover this.
I think a two thirds/one third split would be fair to all .

Itcostshowmuchnow · 06/02/2025 21:07

50/50 between the adults.

The taxi charges per journey not per person.

Ohnobackagain · 06/02/2025 21:12

As the kids aren’t earning and unless the taxi will cost more for 4, she is being unreasonable and I’d just say, “As the taxi cost will be the same for just us 2 and the kids aren’t earning, my expectation is 50:50. But of course 75:25 for the food/meals out” (you may want to say ‘with possible drinks adjustment if alcohol is significantly pricier than soft drinks’) @Airspice

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/02/2025 21:16

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:27

"100% of the costs would be hers."

Perhaps I missed it, but where is the OP subsidizing ANY of the friend's costs, from airfare to accommodation to meals? If anything, it seems the OP expects friend to defray some of the family's costs. The friend is paying no less than she would if she took the holiday alone.

Show quote history

No one should be subsidizing anyones costs.

OP is expecting to pay for all the 'per head' costs for her and her children. The only dispute is the taxi which is not a 'per head' charge but a 'per journey' charge.

So if friend went on holiday alone, 100% of the taxi costs would be hers. By sharing the holiday, she saves 50% of the taxi fee.

IF the others on the holiday were all financially independent, then it would be right to split by person, but that is not the case.

Unrelated38 · 06/02/2025 21:23
  1. For the extra 25% I'd go separately so you're not sat 3 along the back row uncomfortable, hot and sweaty. She'd have to pay the same amount as you if you were in separate taxis. So you should pay the same if you're in the same taxi
latetothefisting · 06/02/2025 21:29

Holdonforsummer · 06/02/2025 17:56

I agree with your friend - taxis will likely be more expensive with four passengers than with two

I've never heard of any taxi charging on this basis (yes if more than 4people but only because it means a bigger taxi is needed, not because it's charged per head) and OP has confirmed that in the place they are going to, it's just a set fee per journey.

Frostingle · 06/02/2025 21:30

Regularly share a taxi with a friend and her two children, always 50/50 split. Why on earth would a friend think it should be any different?

We go for lunch too and split the bill 50/50, only the little one comes with us.

Maybe reconsider going on holiday with this friend @Airspice. Are your children getting a room each in your acomodation or are you paying 75% of 3 rooms?

beccahamlet · 06/02/2025 21:34

To be honest, she could say that you'd have to pay for the taxi anyway, so she'll come along for free. I don't think that's right. But similar to your l9gic

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 21:36

Frostingle · 06/02/2025 21:30

Regularly share a taxi with a friend and her two children, always 50/50 split. Why on earth would a friend think it should be any different?

We go for lunch too and split the bill 50/50, only the little one comes with us.

Maybe reconsider going on holiday with this friend @Airspice. Are your children getting a room each in your acomodation or are you paying 75% of 3 rooms?

Doing something voluntarily is one thing.

Being volun-told to subsidize another entitled family (and disparaged for pushing back) is quite another.

As I and other pp have pointed out, funny how the largess ever only flows one way.... childfree are expected to cover themselves AND friends. Why? It's absurd.

We have just as much need for our money as anyone else; it's not sitting there waiting to be spent on others' lifestyle choices.

FoodieToo · 06/02/2025 22:03

Taxis/cabs in Dublin definitely charge per head. I don't think anyone can guarantee the situation regarding this in another country unless very familiar with it .

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 22:04

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 21:36

Doing something voluntarily is one thing.

Being volun-told to subsidize another entitled family (and disparaged for pushing back) is quite another.

As I and other pp have pointed out, funny how the largess ever only flows one way.... childfree are expected to cover themselves AND friends. Why? It's absurd.

We have just as much need for our money as anyone else; it's not sitting there waiting to be spent on others' lifestyle choices.

Show quote history

I’m not expecting her to cover herself and me, and I take offence at you implying that we are an entitled family, it’s just not how I would split taxi costs if kids were involved and I wondered if my way of thinking was abnormal (which going by the poll, it’s not abnormal as more people agree with me than disagree). If I had worded my originally post something along the lines of ‘I think it’s disgraceful that my friend expects me to pay for my own children and I can’t believe she won’t subsidise me’ then I can understand some posters wrath but that’s not what I said at all.

OP posts:
RatedDoingMagic · 06/02/2025 22:10

The question is, what would you and the kids be doing for transport if you were holidaying without her and what would it cost?

If the answer is that you would be getting taxis just as much and it would cost the same for 3 as for 4 then her suggestion still saves you money. If you'd be getting buses instead and it would be half the cost of the taxi then it's more reasonable to pay half.

kiwiane · 06/02/2025 22:34

She’s being mean - she’ll be saving a lot on transport costs by splitting it this way. You’d be paying almost the same as if she wasn’t with you.

DoItBetter · 06/02/2025 23:09

I think I've changed my mind with this and think if I were you I would pay 3/4. If your. kids were little I might think 50/50 but as older teens I think I would pay for them.

Tagyoureit · 06/02/2025 23:14

This holiday is going to be a massive pain in the arse! She will only ever pay a quarter of anything and I bet she's thrilled about it too!