Taxi costs split - who should pay

[Airspice]

Just wondering if I’m being an arse for thinking this so would like opinions!

Going on holiday soon with a good friend and my two teens (ds14, dd16) 2 week package longhaul, can’t wait.

We were discussing costs/kitty etc the other day and she said that we’d need to get taxis round and about quite a bit (she’s been several times before so knows the score) and we can just split the cost 4 ways and I pay 3 lots and she’ll pay 1. I was a bit surprised, I fully expect when we go for dinner, trips etc to pay for me and the kids but for taxis I would have just split it between me and her, if it was her with the kids I would never have suggested a 4 way split for taxis.

YABU - there’s 4 of you, so split 4 ways, she shouldn’t have to pay for your kids taxi
YANBU - that’s tight, it should just be split between the adults

And this is why singletons feel that they so often get shafted.

The 'otherwise ... whatever' argument doesn't really hold. You might as well say that otherwise the family would be paying the full cost so the singleton can go free. You need to look at what is actually happening.

Also, no extra cost for friend over what it would cost OP and her children. So why should OP charge her friend anything, since it's not costing any more to have her in the cab?

Technically, 25% per person is the fairest way. If it was financially possible, I think a good friend would try to chip in a bit more to ease the burden on their friend in recognition of the fact that she has 3 to pay for.

But actually, 3 people out of 4 only wanting to pay half the cost is much more cheeky/freeloadery than one person out of four paying their exact 25% split of the costs.

Any extra above 25% from OPs friend needs to be offered by them, not expected or assumed by OP.

I’m often the singleton so coming at it from that point of view 🤷‍♀️

Different ways of thinking about it, that’s all. No need to be rude or say that people are being shafted.

@ViolinsPlayGentlyOn I'm sorry if you felt I was being rude but I didn't say that singletons were getting shafted, only that it often feels like it to them. I'm sure many singletons would happily pay more than they consider to be their fair share. What rankles is the expectation that they ought to do it.

Its not just them though is it? Is the single persons journey better because there are 2 teenagers with them?

Agree with this. Why should she subsidize OP's kids??

So wearying that the childfree are constantly expected to give, give, give and the generosity almost exclusively ever flows one way.

Why not just offer to pick up all the taxi costs yourself, since you'd be transporting your kids anyway and she is merely tagging along??

Personally I’d just keep it simple and split ALL costs the same way 75/25. That’s how I plan on doing it on my holiday with DH, DD and DM. I don't see the need to have different splits for different kinds of spend.

I don't understand what you mean here. Sorry.

She'll be more cramped and crowded due to the presence of the teens. Indeed, they complicate the entire holiday. It's she who should be receiving some concessions/courtesies to make up for that.

Why shouldn't friend pay for the full taxi cost, as she's going anyway and OP and her kids are just 'tagging along'?

The taxi is a fixed fee, its the same whether its one or four people in the taxi - what alters the taxi cost is the journey length/duration here, not the number of occupants.

Friend has asked OP and kids to join for a holiday - so presumably if they did not join her, she'd holiday alone, and 100% of the costs would be hers.

IF it were per person, then yes, OP is responsible for the costs of three people, friend only responsible for the cost of one. However that isn't the situation.

They’re not just kids though; they’re your kids. Why should she subsidise them even though she loves you all?

It’s not a family holiday, it’s you and your kids, and her. Why would you assume your teenage kids don’t count?

Your holiday will be more expensive than hers, but that makes perfect sense; you’re paying for three people’s holidays, she’s only paying for one!

This sounds as though you feel you are doing her a favour to go on holiday with her, and that you are due some sort of financial concessions in return. If that really is your attitude it would have been better to decline the trip and spare her the obligation.

"100% of the costs would be hers."

Perhaps I missed it, but where is the OP subsidizing ANY of the friend's costs, from airfare to accommodation to meals? If anything, it seems the OP expects friend to defray some of the family's costs. The friend is paying no less than she would if she took the holiday alone.

Find a bus timetable.. Tell her you and dc will meet her there... She can pay 100% of the taxi..

Why is it ALWAYS the solo/childfree who end up paying MORE when a "middle ground" is reached??

Math is math. Friend is 1/4 of the parties on the journey so she pays 1/4 the cost. Not 50 percent. The teens are getting just as much benefit of the taxi ride as two extra working adults would get. Friend is not their parent and not responsible for getting them from one place to another. She doesn't have to make financial sacrifices in your favour to be considered "nice" or god forbid "kind."

A solo person dining out with a couple pays their exact share, or 1/3 of an evenly split bill. Not 50 percent or every other time.

With parents and marrieds, it's always "heads we win, tails you lose!" when it comes to anything financial. And many of us are fed up by being taken advantage of.

If the 4 of you were 4 friends you’d split 4 ways.

I can see both sides.

If I was your friend I wouldn’t have thought to do more than split 50 / 50, but in your shoes I would probably shrug and see it as her perk for being on holiday with 2 teens!

Whose idea was this holiday?

At least then she wouldn't be waiting around for them or squeezing into her seat.

Exactly.

This is so true. As the perpetual single in my family everything costs me more, and it really grates. My parents set the tone - we'll divide the cost amongst the adults, and of course they are happy to pay for the grandkids -but it means my brothers family of 5 costs me a bloody fortune.

Birthdays, Christmas, meals out, days out all cost me an absolute fortune. Over 10 years it becomes really grating.

Some people are getting a little bit heated suggesting that I am ‘expecting’ my friend to subsidise my kids, that’s not the case at all, I was just surprised as I personally would have split the taxi between the adults if it had been her with the kids.

Definately get separate food/drink bills or pay what you each have.

I can see her point on the taxi. I personally would only expect a long term friend to go 50:50 but better to address it now.

It was hers. She’s been to this place several times and for a few years has been saying we should come with her but this is the first year I’ve been able to afford it. I am more than prepared to pay my share, in no way am I trying to get her to subsidise my kids, it’s just not how I would have split taxis if it had been her with the kids.

.

We’ve been good friends for 30 years, she’s been close to my kids all their lives.

Easy to be generous on a hypothetical