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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get my tubes tied?

56 replies

Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 20:14

Looking for a bit of advice from people who have undergone the procedure.
Personally feel like family is complete with DS2 on the way in the next couple of months.
But considering tying the tubes as

Had little to no support during pregnancy from partner/ extended family.
Getting on age wise
House is a bit of a squash and a squeeze
various health issues that need focusing on (overweight etc)

On the flip side love kids and always wanted a larger family.
Financially able to support having more kids.

anyway would be good to hear from others who have considered the procedure or had it done.

YABU : don’t do it, it’s irreversible and you’ll regret it if you change your mind.
YANBU : you’ve done your time enjoy life, focus on your health and the family you have/ will have.

(other forms of contraception haven’t really worked well for various reasons - hence considering this option at the moment)

OP posts:
Isseywith2witchycats · 05/02/2025 20:19

I had the op after I had my third child but I was absolutely certain I did not want any more children , to be honest i only wanted two children and third was a pill failure and 42 years later I haven't regretted it for even one day, by the way I do love my youngest the same as the other two

JimHalpertsWife · 05/02/2025 20:20

Have condoms failed?

Rocknrollstar · 05/02/2025 20:48

I had the op because I was two and done. Had the ther things I wanted to do with my life. Never ever regretted it

Teebles007 · 05/02/2025 20:48

I had it done after my 3rd. No regrets.

OnYerselfHen · 05/02/2025 21:04

Sorry for jumping on OP but to those who have had the procedure; what's it like? How sore? How long were you off work?

Original poster
Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 21:05

Isseywith2witchycats · 05/02/2025 20:19

I had the op after I had my third child but I was absolutely certain I did not want any more children , to be honest i only wanted two children and third was a pill failure and 42 years later I haven't regretted it for even one day, by the way I do love my youngest the same as the other two

Thank you, that’s really useful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 21:08

Teebles007 · 05/02/2025 20:48

I had it done after my 3rd. No regrets.

What factors led you to make your decision?

OP posts:
Cunningfungus · 05/02/2025 21:10

I had my 2nd DC by elective section and got tubes clipped at the same time. Had tried every other form of contraception and none really suited me. I was certain that I didn’t want any more children and after DC2 I had a medical condition which meant I couldn’t have any more anyway so it was almost like fate.

SparkyBlue · 05/02/2025 21:12

I had it done during my c section with DC3 as that was a surprise pregnancy and i was done having children and in my 40s and never wanted that to happen again. However the fact that you have to even ask people would have me thinking it's not right for you right now. Most women I know who've had it done are very much finished with their families and not even entertaining the notion of another child.

Whowhatwhere21 · 05/02/2025 21:12

I've had one tube clipped, not because I'm done with having children but I had to have it for medical reasons before ivf.
No regrets here. I was on the waiting list for 3 months, in and out of the hospital the same day, up and about moving the following day. I was groggy for about a week but was moving around doing usual day to day house jobs within 48 hours. The only issue i had was the top of my knickers rubbing on one if the incisions 😅 I just kept a dressing on for a week and all was fine.

Original poster
Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 21:17

Cunningfungus · 05/02/2025 21:10

I had my 2nd DC by elective section and got tubes clipped at the same time. Had tried every other form of contraception and none really suited me. I was certain that I didn’t want any more children and after DC2 I had a medical condition which meant I couldn’t have any more anyway so it was almost like fate.

Edited

Yes, I’ve been offered to also have it done at the same time as my elective. Which feels like this best time to have it given I’m already being operated on and can recover from both at the same time

OP posts:
tryinganothername · 05/02/2025 21:22

YANBU

I had mine done (during gynea surgery) after nearly dieing while pg with #3. (Pregnancy terminated due to real risk of me not surviving the pregnancy)

I'd been very very unwell with both of my other pregnancys, but #3 was off the scale and I chose to terminate to ensure the 2 children i already had still had a mother.

I was told I should never get pg again, due to the high risks of it all happening again + I NEVER want to go through any of that again so I had my tube cut (while the other was removed completely)

(and yes, in answer to poster above child 2 was a result of condom failure)

Original poster
Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 21:31

SparkyBlue · 05/02/2025 21:12

I had it done during my c section with DC3 as that was a surprise pregnancy and i was done having children and in my 40s and never wanted that to happen again. However the fact that you have to even ask people would have me thinking it's not right for you right now. Most women I know who've had it done are very much finished with their families and not even entertaining the notion of another child.

Ideally, I’d like one more but don’t think physical and mental health will allow it especially with the lack of a support network, not sure it’s something I’d want to put myself through again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 21:38

tryinganothername · 05/02/2025 21:22

YANBU

I had mine done (during gynea surgery) after nearly dieing while pg with #3. (Pregnancy terminated due to real risk of me not surviving the pregnancy)

I'd been very very unwell with both of my other pregnancys, but #3 was off the scale and I chose to terminate to ensure the 2 children i already had still had a mother.

I was told I should never get pg again, due to the high risks of it all happening again + I NEVER want to go through any of that again so I had my tube cut (while the other was removed completely)

(and yes, in answer to poster above child 2 was a result of condom failure)

I’m so sorry about your experience, pregnancy is already bloody traumatic but what you went through sounds next level. Sending lots of love ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 21:57

JimHalpertsWife · 05/02/2025 20:20

Have condoms failed?

Trying to consider all options availabile. Given this is the one that’s irreversible and has a time limit to make a decision on, thought I’d get some thoughts from people who made the decision (or decided not to )

OP posts:
pompey38 · 05/02/2025 21:59

Noob2022 · 05/02/2025 20:14

Looking for a bit of advice from people who have undergone the procedure.
Personally feel like family is complete with DS2 on the way in the next couple of months.
But considering tying the tubes as

Had little to no support during pregnancy from partner/ extended family.
Getting on age wise
House is a bit of a squash and a squeeze
various health issues that need focusing on (overweight etc)

On the flip side love kids and always wanted a larger family.
Financially able to support having more kids.

anyway would be good to hear from others who have considered the procedure or had it done.

YABU : don’t do it, it’s irreversible and you’ll regret it if you change your mind.
YANBU : you’ve done your time enjoy life, focus on your health and the family you have/ will have.

(other forms of contraception haven’t really worked well for various reasons - hence considering this option at the moment)

I had it done 11 yrs ago at 31, only had one child , I knew i didn’t want another, never regretted it . Keyhole day surgery , a bit sore for few days , back to work after two days ,no visible scars

pompey38 · 05/02/2025 22:02

OnYerselfHen · 05/02/2025 21:04

Sorry for jumping on OP but to those who have had the procedure; what's it like? How sore? How long were you off work?

Keyhole surgery , jumped in a plane after two days , you’re sore for a week or so but not to the point of not being able to carry on with your life ( no physical jobs though)

RobinHeartella · 05/02/2025 22:06

I did it at the same time as ELCS with dc2. It's over a year on now and I have no regrets at all, I'm so glad I did it.

I know I don't want any more kids, ever, I never want to go through pregnancy and childbirth ever again (horrific pregnancies both times, and traumatic dc1 birth) and besides if we'd had a third we'd have had to downgrade our lifestyle a lot to afford a bigger car, kids sharing rooms etc etc. I knew I didn't want that ever.

I'm so pleased I don't have to worry about pregnancy ever again! When I see heavily pregnant women out and about, it just brings back how awful my pregnancies were, my heart goes out to them.

RobinHeartella · 05/02/2025 22:08

If you do it the same time as a c section, there's no extra recovery/symptoms compared to just having a c section. At least, in my experience (I've had two CS and obviously only got sterilised the second time!)

Lillygolightly · 05/02/2025 22:13

I had mine done during my C Section with my twins. In terms of the recovery I don’t have any other c section experience to compare it to so I can’t say whether the recovery was more difficult/painful due to the sterilisation, but the recovery was straightforward and I recovered well and in good time.

In terms of making the decision I was absolutely certain, the twins were my 5th pregnancy and I had suffered the loss of my son in the pregnancy prior, I had just hit 40 and I didn’t want to risk losing another child or having another set of twins in my 40s. That said even after having 5 living children, during the baby days with the twins post sterilisation I would get randomly sad about it. Perhaps that was due to the hormones, or tied to the loss of my son or just simply grieving the end of my childbearing/fertility, but as much as you may be certain about it, do try to be prepared for some type of feeling around the finality of it. I will say though that 3 years later I am so very glad I had it done, and would do it again, it’s so nice not having to worry any more.

Original poster
Noob2022 · 06/02/2025 07:00

Lillygolightly · 05/02/2025 22:13

I had mine done during my C Section with my twins. In terms of the recovery I don’t have any other c section experience to compare it to so I can’t say whether the recovery was more difficult/painful due to the sterilisation, but the recovery was straightforward and I recovered well and in good time.

In terms of making the decision I was absolutely certain, the twins were my 5th pregnancy and I had suffered the loss of my son in the pregnancy prior, I had just hit 40 and I didn’t want to risk losing another child or having another set of twins in my 40s. That said even after having 5 living children, during the baby days with the twins post sterilisation I would get randomly sad about it. Perhaps that was due to the hormones, or tied to the loss of my son or just simply grieving the end of my childbearing/fertility, but as much as you may be certain about it, do try to be prepared for some type of feeling around the finality of it. I will say though that 3 years later I am so very glad I had it done, and would do it again, it’s so nice not having to worry any more.

Thanks for sharing your journey. This is really helpful in terms of the emotional impact having the surgery might have long term.

OP posts:
Original poster
Noob2022 · 06/02/2025 07:02

Thanks all for sharing your experiences and reasons for getting the surgery done. It’s really helped me make my mind up and given me peace with the decision I’d like to make.

OP posts:
Monstermashermashedthemonster · 06/02/2025 07:24

I been asking since I was 35 and all I keep getting told is I'm too young.
I've 4 children I know for sure I don't want anymore.
So for now I'm on the depo injection cause it seems to be the only contraception that works for me.

Fawn87 · 06/02/2025 07:28

I was only 28 when I had it done, no regrets at all. I have four kids and I'd had 4 c sections so it was also for health reasons. It was offered to me during my last c section.

Gettingbysomehow · 06/02/2025 07:30

I had mine done and was as happy as Larry, until it urged me into early menopause. My GP said oh didn't they tell you that could happen. No they didn't.

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