To get my tubes tied?

[Noob2022]

Looking for a bit of advice from people who have undergone the procedure.
Personally feel like family is complete with DS2 on the way in the next couple of months.
But considering tying the tubes as

Had little to no support during pregnancy from partner/ extended family.
Getting on age wise
House is a bit of a squash and a squeeze
various health issues that need focusing on (overweight etc)

On the flip side love kids and always wanted a larger family.
Financially able to support having more kids.

anyway would be good to hear from others who have considered the procedure or had it done.

YABU : don’t do it, it’s irreversible and you’ll regret it if you change your mind.
YANBU : you’ve done your time enjoy life, focus on your health and the family you have/ will have.

(other forms of contraception haven’t really worked well for various reasons - hence considering this option at the moment)

I've been offered this during my upcoming section later in the year and the only thing that puts me off is that I know a few people who've had it done and suffered horrible periods after and had to have the coil inserted to lighten the bleeding.

Just jumping on as I've recently had some advice on this -
After DC2 I was bluntly told by several doctors that the consequences of me getting pregnant again would be awful and not to do it. I faithfully pottered along to my GP to request a tube tie and was told the op was no longer offered on the NHS unless it was being done during a C section.
They offered to make an independent funding application for it since it was medically recommended, I declined as research shows the same failure rate for the coil as it does for a tube tie and a coil was substantially easier to get a hold of.
Just one persons experience and might be different across the trusts obviously!

My periods are heavier and more painful since having it done. I think that's the only downside but I'm still glad I went ahead. My periods were bad to begin with anyway so not a huge change.

Mine are incredibly light , so I'd rather not make them worse and one of my friends has had bleeding all through her cycle since. Its really put me off

Is there a reason why your partner provides no support? Is this just towards you or does he also not share care for your existing child?

got mine done at 25 after having 3rd baby, never regretted it for a second, i am now 55, I just knew that I was done!

This failure rate does depend on the type of sterilisation you have done. In my case I had a sapligectomy (hopefully spelled that correctly) this is where the tubes are removed (instead of being cut and cauterised) and the failure for this is very rare.

The high failure rate is for the old method where they just made a snip in the tubes basically. The egg could still randomly drift into the snipped tube (unlikely but could happen, hence the failure rate). Now they remove the tube completely.

The difference is that with the new method, there's basically zero option of reversal. In the old method you could have an op to reverse it.

I'm not a doctor but this is my understanding from having it explained to me.

Yeah I understand that. I remember going to see the GP about my periods and they said heavy periods are not a side effect of being sterilised but when I had a colposcopy for an unrelated issue they said that probably was the cause. I think it just depends on your individual needs. I'm very fertile and know that if I didn't have a permanent form of contraception I'd end up with a fifth child as I don't think I'd be able to face an abortion. I've not had bleeding through my cycle though, my periods have always been bang on every 28 days and that hasn't changed. That sounds like a separate issue that needs attention.

I have not had mine removed. Mine was done 8 years ago and I had a ring placed on each tube which keeps the egg in the tube.

I had it done after my 2 DCs. It took me until DC2 was 2 years old to actually get it done, but my GP was great. I had it done less than a month after seeing her and was in and out of hospital in a day.
Keyhole surgery, belt and braces (clips on tubes and cut).
I had absolutely no side effects afterwards, or pain, heavy periods etc. I just needed the kids minding for a day after.
It was the best decision ever for us, as we never had to worry about contraception or pregnancy again.

I had it done and then changed my mind and had it reversed 3 years later !

There are a few methods. I had mine done by ‘modified pomeroy’ they took a section of each tube then tied the ends and also cauterised them. It was still reversible

I have requested it to be done during my elective c section in a couple of months.
First pregnancy was an 'accident' and ended up in emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy only 10 days after finding out so left tube was removed.

Next pregnancy, we lost our little boy at 18 weeks just before lockdown which was physically and mentally the hardest thing I've had to deal with.

Next pregnancy was successful but I had to do blood thinning injections every day since week 5 of pregnancy until 6 weeks post emergency c section due to a suspected pregnancy blood clotting disorder that is believed to have caused my late miscarriage

Current pregnancy, doing the blood thinners again out of caution and really suffering with pelvic girdle pain and hating the injections

Eac time we have decided to 'try' I have fallen pregnant the first month of 'lets see what happens' which I know is incredibly lucky compared to how long some people try and have children so even though I only have one tube, I am convinced me and my husband must be incredibly fertile between us

I've never used any other form of contraception other than condoms and don't particularly want to. My husband is very much 2 and done. There was always a little part of me that though maybe we would had a 3rd one day but I definitely don't enjoy pregnancy due to constantly being on edge due to previous experience, I don't want to do these injections ever again (have been doing them since 5 weeks), I have been so much more wiped out this time round especially during the first trimester and having a 3 year old to look after too and the pelvic girdle pain some days is actual agony, I am utterly convinced I do not want to do this again. I'm also nearly 36 and can't imagine doing this again in a few years at 40. Plus the added expense of more expensive days out and holidays with 3 children and practicalities of getting bigger cars and potentially bigger house is not something I want to deal with.

My husband is looking in to also having a vasectomy to 'double proof' ourselves

We do have a good support network but our parents are mid 60s and do help us out a lot but I'm very aware that nothing in life is guaranteed and this could change very quickly

It did feel like such a 'permanent' option when I first thought about it and I wasn't sure but I'm glad now I have requested it and no one has questioned my motives or decision. My thinking is I can get the recovery done the same time as my c section rather than recovering from that and then having another operation.

I’ve briefly considered it but I just can’t. It doesn’t feel like something I can do.

Hopefully my husband will get a vasectomy next year and that will be our choice

Did you have another baby?

What section will this be, do you mind me asking?

I had mine done immediately after my CS with my 3rd when I was 36.

Afterwards - I felt very sad, 'regretted' it (but this was immediately afterwards with all the post-pregnancy hormones whizzing round.).
I then realised there's a huge difference between not wanting any more children and not being able to have any more children. So think carefully, especially as in one of your posts you've said "..ideally, I'd like one more..."

After a few months, it did turn out to be a good decision for me. When my relationship ended I was 40, had a couple of relationships in my early 40s and was then very thankful I'd been sterilised.

However, it DID mess my periods up. They became extremely heavy, it was awful, impacted my life/work. I did a bit of digging on the internet - and I had to do some deep digging, this info wasn't easy to find in all the 'oh it doesn't mess your periods up at all' BS websites, but I read something about how sterilisation affects the hormone receptors in the ovaries, the messages aren't received in the same way, and a consequence is heavier womb lining each month. Now at the age of 50 the menopause has been a blessed relief from the past 10+ years of horror periods.

I had my tubes removed at 46 with one child and certain I was done.

apparently best practice is to remove the tubes rather than clip them. Removes all chance of pregnancy, plus most gynae cancers start in the tubes. Mine were taken away and tested and it was nice to get an all clear.

It was more painful than I expected it to be but that must be related to fact tubes were removed not clipped. I needed a full week in bed. Few more weeks on light duties and I’m usually quick to heal

Overall very happy with my decision!

This is how it was explained to me too.

Had it done at the same time as an elective caesarean recently as had been surprised with baby number three and didn’t want a repeat! No different to my other sections and glad no longer need to worry about contraception.

Same experience as @Gettingbysomehow
Had mine done and it started menopause (i was 40 so not ridiculously early), and was subsequently told that ovaries don't like being whizzled with.

(Don't think whizzled was the medical term)

I had it done at the same time as my elective c section for my third child. When they're doing it during a c section they can cut and burn your tubes (rather than tying them off which is what they typically do). They explained I would have to do IVF if I wanted to have another child and made me sign consent forms. I could smell the burning during the section, which was odd, but other than that it was no different to my earlier c section. I probably had one pang of regret when my baby was a newborn but I definitely didn't want to experience another pregnancy and I am really glad I did it - it's lovely not having to worry about it. I would highly recommend it as a form of contraception but only if you're 100% sure!!

I had 2 more after the reversal

I was 28 as well.I had it done during my second c section.My first c section had nearly killed my DC1 and myself.I spent the whole of my second pregnancy in fear and could not go through it all again.I was very weepy for a bit afterwards though, especially when I saw a new baby, but soon got over it and settled down to the fact I would never be pregnant again.My MIL told me I had committed a mortal sin by having it done, so that was something else I had to endure.