Friend earns as much as me on benefits

[NattyFinch]

I felt really shocked and conflicted after a discussion with a friend recently that revealed that she receives over £2000 a month on benefits for 2 children while I work full time as a single parent with one child for a similar amount (once I’ve paid all my taxes, ni etc). It stemmed from her saying she was going for ivf treatment at 48 at a total cost of £8000. I’m supportive as a friend and try not to be a judgmental person but this just seems unjust when I’ve worked so hard to stay in employment and raise my son single-handedly for 12 years. She doesn’t want to move to England because if the ivf is successful she will get more money to stay in Scotland. AIBU to think this is all bonkers ?!

Madness, OP. YANBU.

Privilieged women would earn way more than their friends would get from benefits. I think it's the single mum working ft in a lowpaying stressful job who does feel a lack of motivation when she sees that someone has the same standard of living as her doing subsided by benefits. There have to be financial incentives to work.

I know what you mean...two people I know got 6 bedroom houses for them and their children...they both waited years but I am looking for a place and I know that, in one of their cases, a house of that size in that area costs upwards of 2.5m. Meanwhile many friends who work are having to look at moving away because they can't afford to stay where they grew up.

It is a lottery, I have friends in benefits who are in studios with their whole family, but the thinking is that if you wait long enough you will be given a house - when people not on benefits don't have that option.

Natives? 🤔 The dog whistle is strong with this one.

Not sure the country needs a 'native' population of benefit recipients as against working folk, so perhaps that isn't the criteria you should be lauding.

Regardless of whether the OP is accurate or not..... the fact remains that there needs to be a far greater differential between income through working and benefit handouts.

If you're working full time in the most menial of jobs and don't have significantly more in your pocket than if you didn't work, where's the incentive? Why drag yourself out of bed, be away from your children, have the expense of a commute and maybe not even have pleasant colleagues, then come home and have to fit all the other bits of life - cooking, housework - if you're not going to be significantly better off than someone who can get up when they want, have control over how they spend their day and not have an employer demanding expectations and deadlines?

That is the fundamental issue. It's not benefit bashing. It doesn't mean stripping benefits down to nothing. It means making work, from the most menial basic jobs upwards a much better deal.

And how have a family of multiple generations of those living off the welfare state built and paid into the system? 🤔

Working for minimum wage when a single parent to young children is often very stressful and hard work. Telling people they have it good because they wake up with purpose, meet colleagues, set an example etc is cold comfort when you are working your backside off, tired and have very little financial reward. I don’t know if the story of benefits is accurate or not but I am sympathetic to the op’s situation.

Your friend isn’t ’earning’ anything - she is sponging from the tax payer. In the long term this will lead to an old age an abject poverty and depression. A life wasted so to speak.

On benefits and having IVF at 48yrs old?

Of course this is completely genuine and I’m my grandad’s aunty. 🤣🤣

😂😂🙌

Any clinic offering ivf to a 48 year old in your “friend’s” circumstances needs to be investigated.

How is it ok that lower-paid, hard-working people see their tax money go towards supporting people who could, but don't want to work?

And then, those hard-working people have to put up with shit, underfunded public services because so much of the tax take is going towards those people who don't want to work.

There are plenty of jobs out there. There are plenty of people who could work, but prefer not to. And the state says, 'ah, well, no worries, we'll give you roughly the same amount anyway, so take it easy'.

Pretty sure it's £16,000 not £6000

I work private sector on govt contract, don’t get fancy pension and still don’t get £2000 and they are reducing my hours, either that or I will be made redundant.

Doesn't it depend on how much rent is?

@woodenbatandball am guessing your working ft and on a decent wage then?

Op will still need to work if dc are over 3 years old

Definitely, the chance of it working are less than 1%.
I don't believe this story though no disabilities and rent can't be too high if she lives in Scotland there's no way she gets 2k a month. Its just rage bait.
I'll back away though I've already pissed off a Scot for saying the rent isn't that high there

Its a Mumsnet myth that anyone is better off unemployed I was unemployed throughout Covid and am definitely a lot better off now I have a job and it's only minimum wage

Go on benefits then, if it's so much easier 🤷🏻‍♀️

Unbelievable

You can name change. And in the past you could name change on a single thread, in order to agree with yourself, or full on troll and disagree with yourself in order to stir up a fight.

But nowadays you have to stick with the same name throughout a thread unless you have two different MN accounts.

Then why are you not claiming universal credits too? You are a single mother and you earn less than me so yes you would be entitled to something

My DH has a friend who's a single mum and hasn't worked since her daughter was born 16 years ago. She's been on benefits the whole time. Granted, her ex very sadly passed away from cancer, but it seems worrying she had gotten away with not working properly for so long.

Her life will never be someone who's rolling in it. She won't have a comfortably off life safe from any financial emergencies etc. It's her daughter who will ultimately be affected long term too. It's pretty sad

The OP may well be fiction but the point remains: working, from the lowest paid most menial job towards, needs to leave someone significantly better off than not working.

The key word there is significantly. The issue is the differential between working and not working.

Sure, you don't have a grand standard of living on benefits, you're probably having to scrimp and go without certain things. But so do millions of people in work. If you're in a NMW job, or even if you earn enough to not qualify for any top ups and have to pay your rent, council tax, all your bills, dentist, prescriptions at nearly a tenner each, if you're in those situations you can easily be barely any better off. And if the choice is having pretty much the same paltry amount of money at the end of the day, then why would someone get up early, have a commute, be answerable to someone else, have to meet deadlines and have far less control over their day, rather than not?

That's the issue in a nutshell

really? sponging? Loads of people claim benefits, people who are in work in particular. I am a teacher and for years claimed tax credits as a single parent. Do you think people with disabilities are 'sponging'?