Friend earns as much as me on benefits

[NattyFinch]

I felt really shocked and conflicted after a discussion with a friend recently that revealed that she receives over £2000 a month on benefits for 2 children while I work full time as a single parent with one child for a similar amount (once I’ve paid all my taxes, ni etc). It stemmed from her saying she was going for ivf treatment at 48 at a total cost of £8000. I’m supportive as a friend and try not to be a judgmental person but this just seems unjust when I’ve worked so hard to stay in employment and raise my son single-handedly for 12 years. She doesn’t want to move to England because if the ivf is successful she will get more money to stay in Scotland. AIBU to think this is all bonkers ?!

You will have a workplace pension and the possibility of career advancement. She will not.

If you work for SG they are paying almost 30% into your pension on top of your salary, which she won’t have. It is a bit jarring though.

Is it means tested? I’m a little shocked by this. We’ve paid for all diagnoses and ongoing medication reviews out of our own pockets (not covered by employer medical insurance) but medical insurance has stumped up for a psychologist at least.

DLA is not means tested, it's to cover the expenses associated with a child with a disability.
For us that includes having a bigger house, installing sensory swings, extra bedroom on holiday, childcare (including for DD so she can have a chilled holiday with her friends in the school club not at home with DS), private diagnosis, some private prescriptions, subscription to a parenting coach... Etc.

I get not far off 2 grand a month and I don't have any disabilities. Single mum, 1 child. Work part time. I get almost £600 for me and 1 child. £800 towards childcare. £450 rent allowance. Add on another 1 child and it would be over £2000.

Was David Cameron a sponger, do you think?

Same old tall tales on here. One poster's SiL has three children by two fathers, on another thread it was three children by three fathers. Funny that.

No, it's not meant tested and they don't check what it's used for, if its saved up etc. My mother gets DLA care and mobility high rate, due to a neurological condition. She doesn't have any extra costs due to her disabilty, she may get a taxi once in a blue moon to go somewhere as she can't drive or get the bus alone. However she does pay a cleaner to come in once a week as she can't manage that.

That is terrible. It is shocking that employers are able to pay people such low wages and treat them so badly. That is what people should be pissed off about instead of demanding people on benefits are warehoused as pp suggested.

My husband gets PIP. We spend it on cocaine and BDSM clubs.

The trouble is wages haven’t gone up but benefits have. Yes a lot of people do take advantages of the system particularly the disability system for mental health although no one on here seems to want to hear that.

To be fair how would they know? I am currently saving for IVF whilst on UC. Unless I say anything the clinic won't know my circumstances.

It’s not like for like. You have a job, a career, a pension, the opportunity to earn more, your kids are seeing you role model working.
She’s unemployed, has this money for now but it will drop when her children get past 16, will have limited earning prospects, has no pension.
I grew up in an area where many lived off benefits, my parents both worked and some families got as much as they earned … At first. My parents jobs got better, we moved, bought a house… the families on benefits stayed the same. Bored, not enough money, when their kids left home benefits dropped to the lowest.

Let her do her, it’s mad to be trying IVF at that age but let her waste her money.

Do you have any evidence to back that claim up?

The fraud rate for PIP is negligible (approx cost of PIP fraud £90m each year) and hundreds of millions of pounds of it goes unclaimed each year (around £870 m).

So statistics would suggest there are far more people not claiming PIP when they would be eligible than vice versa.

But I am wasting my words, I know.

800 for childcare because you have a job. Think the op said her friend is unemployed

It's wrong Op, there's no doubt. Console yourself with the fact that your child is being brought up to know that work is not an option and he will grow up contributing to society.
I'm afraid I couldn't be friends with her, she has no dignity.

£2,000 is not a lot. The problem is not the level of benefits but the poor salaries.

Also will she be given IVF at 48.

The rent element isn't for her , it's for her landlord or local authority , entire homeless families living on the streets wouldn't benefit anyone. What we do need are higher wages , affordable homes and affordable childcare . Punch up , not down.

I've looked at OPs posts and I can't see where she said her friend is unemployed, just that she's on benefits which I am although I work.

However even without childcare costs, running these figures through entitled to (one adult, 2 children, £800 per month rent - could be Glasgow/Edinburgh which will be a bit higher - council tax) the UC credit calculator brings up a figure of £2154 monthly.

I don't really relate to a lot of the figures on this thread!

I'll post my income and circumstances, genuinely interested if anyone in similar circumstances is worse off but not entitled to any benefits/getting all they are entitled to.

Single parent, 2 primary age children, no disabilities.
Salary £2160
Universal credit £368
Child benefit £171
Total income pcm £2699

Think it's strongly implied she's unemployed idk I might be wrong.
I think the calculator is not accurate when I was unemployed in covid rent was 700 plus Me and one child the UC only came to about 1150. An extra kid would only add about 250 I think.

Someone on this thread said something about the online calculator not being accurate

If I lost my job tomorrow my income would be

Universal credit £1014
Child benefit £171
Total income £1185

Yes my kids would be entitled to free school meals and I'd get free prescriptions etc but that wouldn't go far in making up the shortfall. I'd still be considerably worse off 🤷‍♀️

My wage is very similar to yours. I have one child and I get £420 ish in UC which covers a bit of my rent and also a bit of wraparound care.

Unless her rent is sky high - which in Scotland it probably won't be.

Sure. "Scotland" is full of cheapo housing everywhere. No sky high rents here. None at all. We all live in huge castles for tuppence ha'peny.

Most people with high amounts of UC is because of rent.

Funny how that is okay but if you were trying to ask about help with your mortgage and you are on a very low income and claiming UC there is uproar from those claimant's....

Edited to add unless you have disability or rent it will be lower. Paying childcare can make your amount more too.

To keep the benefits coming in!!