Friend earns as much as me on benefits

[NattyFinch]

I felt really shocked and conflicted after a discussion with a friend recently that revealed that she receives over £2000 a month on benefits for 2 children while I work full time as a single parent with one child for a similar amount (once I’ve paid all my taxes, ni etc). It stemmed from her saying she was going for ivf treatment at 48 at a total cost of £8000. I’m supportive as a friend and try not to be a judgmental person but this just seems unjust when I’ve worked so hard to stay in employment and raise my son single-handedly for 12 years. She doesn’t want to move to England because if the ivf is successful she will get more money to stay in Scotland. AIBU to think this is all bonkers ?!

Would the angry people be happy to swap the care needs of their NT child for yours though?

It's only when you compare the two that you realise how much more you actually have to do for a child with a disability.

Autism could be caused by heavy metals, toxins in food, and other environmental causes. But basically it isn’t your fault and now your child has a lifelong disability that causes him issues in his daily life. Think of it as compensation (edited to say sorry but for some reason I thought I read your child has it but maybe not, either way the point is still the same)

@Lovebirdslovetea hey, my child doesn't have autism. He has a severe physical disability but he's neurotypical. He will be able to manage his own disability as he gets older, he will gain more independence and I will no longer have to claim benefits then

What a horrendous attitude. And those children mist definitely do have significant needs. Dla isn’t easy to get , it’s not enough to fit example have a diagnosis of autism. Your child has to also have care needs much greater than an average child l, and show evidence of those from health professionals and schools.

The basic elements of UC( not including c/tax and rent ) works out at roughly £75 pp pw (based on one adult and 2 kids) This has to pay all food,travel,clothing,school uniform,shoes and bills not to mention replacing essential household appliances ,general wear and tear household maintenance etc.

It's hardly a fortune when you break it down and doesn't really pay for a life of luxury either .

Ooh I need to get down to CAB and claim this!

Don't forget to claim your free goat!

Well, you need to change your thread title and post as she's obviously not a friend.....

I will let my dog's favourite park mate's owner's hairdresser know that she should get on this quick too.
She has 2 kids by 4 different dads, has a car on the motibilty scheme - a Lamborghini that has such high maintenance costs that that it has it's own PIP payment. She holidays so much, she is out of the UK for 60 weeks each year.
When she is here, she buys all her food and drinks from Starbucks, and stands in the street after, prodding people and laughing at them.... saying they are are gullible tax payers that are giving her free coffee.

I like where this thread is going.

It was cheaper in the UK than it was abroad? That is very unusual.

Agreed, and yet somehow from reading some of these posts, we are meant to feel sorry for people on benefits for "only" getting £2k a month when they have 2 kids because "some of its for rent" , but people who actually go to work for that £2k a month (who also have to pay rent) should shut up moaning about it.

Even though they don't get free school meals or free prescriptions etc. At the moment people can end up worse off working.

Unless there is an actual disability that stops someone working then benefits should not pay as much or more as working.

She could have a possibility of career advancement. It would be easy. Just getting a job would significantly advance her career

Depends on the job. Cleaning an office... no advancement there,

Someone earning £2k would still get some benefits (a not insignificant sum) on top of their £2k earnings if they had the same circumstances as those receiving £2k in benefits without working.

Fair

Me too

Have we had this one yet? "My neighbour gets a free car and he doesn't even look disabled"

It's pretty obvious that no one would be posting about a close friend so these are always about neighbours etc and that means you know bugger all about their circumstances.

It's not even that people want more money for themselves. They want someone else to have less than they have and they're not going to let facts get in their way.

If a woman is left homeless and penniless with kids she should get the minimum amount and the kids should be euthanised.

That'll teach em!

Hyperbole is just a side show to avoid addressing the real issue.

Of course benefits should be enough for essentials, roof over your head, food etc

The issue is that if you're getting up every day, working all day, being away from your kids, perhaps doing a tough/risky/dull/difficult job, meeting deadlines, having to perform to specified standards..... you should be significantly better off than someone who doesn't. Significantly.

People moan about the hardship of living on benefits but the fact is, plenty of working people who don't qualify for benefits are having a very tough time too, plus all the pressures of work as outlined above. You can totally understand why people question the point.

Of course, working is going to be beneficial in the long term; a life on benefits means you'll be screwed in your older age with no other pension than the meagre state one. But you can't expect working people to do it just for the long game. They deserve to be properly rewarded in the here and now.

Do you even know what the legal framework for this is though?

You cannot claim UC unless you show that you are constantly applying for jobs. And there is a benefit cap.

Well you say you can't claim UC without constantly applying for jobs. We had a Ukrainian family living with us for a year, the mum absolutely refused point blank to get a job. The sort of jobs she would be able to do in the UK with her ok, but not fluent English weren't good enough for her. She moved on to another host and still has no job.

@Leilanii getting disability benefits for yourself / your child does remove the benefit cap though but of course that's not everyone's situation. Just thought it was worth a mention as not many people know

My point is that there needs to be a far greater differential between the cap and what you earn in a full time NMW jobs.

Someone paying all their rent and bill, not able to access the fringe benefits like free prescriptions, social tariffs on internet etc can easily end up with not a lot more money left over than someone who isn't working. And that's clearly wrong, when the working person is spending at least over 7 hours every weekday (plus commute time and expense) having to work at a job which might be stressful/ boring/difficult. Even a job you enjoy involves being under instructions from someone else, meeting specified requirements and deadlines. You dont have control over your day. there needs to be remuneration which makes the working person significantly, tangibly better off than if they dont work. Not just better off in the long term but immediately

Absolutely @lolly792