Friend earns as much as me on benefits

[NattyFinch]

I felt really shocked and conflicted after a discussion with a friend recently that revealed that she receives over £2000 a month on benefits for 2 children while I work full time as a single parent with one child for a similar amount (once I’ve paid all my taxes, ni etc). It stemmed from her saying she was going for ivf treatment at 48 at a total cost of £8000. I’m supportive as a friend and try not to be a judgmental person but this just seems unjust when I’ve worked so hard to stay in employment and raise my son single-handedly for 12 years. She doesn’t want to move to England because if the ivf is successful she will get more money to stay in Scotland. AIBU to think this is all bonkers ?!

This all sounds a bit strange.

How old are her children? If they're over 3 then she would be expected to work, unless one of them has a disability.

Does that £2k include rent contribution?

She isn't building a pension, what will happen when she has no DC and gets very little and has to be applying for jobs around the clock?

Longer term you will be much better off.

You're not comparing like with like.

YANBU, but there is no system without edge cases and grifters. Not suggesting your friend's a fraud, only that there will be people who'd qualify for more benefit, or less, if just one tiny thing were different. Can't be helped.

Just to make sure,
~ Is your friend dealing with challenges that you don't have?
~ Have you double-checked your own entitlements?

Why does she want another child aged 48????
That's ridiculous

That amount either includes her rent or she or her children are disabled.

I don't see why "well that will include her rent" is some massive gotcha or explanation.

This has to have some sort of disability element in it because no way would she get £2k even with rent. Rent is capped.

££££££££

UK employers being subsidised by government to get away with paying pitiful salaries for decades has nothing to do with Welfare.

Well, she doesn't EARN it. She's entitled to it as welfare benefit. It's not payday, it's handout day.

No disabled children and yes pays her rent out of that but so do I - and c tax with only single person discount

You've got a steady job and a full CV with no gaps, you have a routine and a purpose to get up for every day which is good for mental health and self-esteem, you get to socialise when you're at work with colleagues (potentially),you set the example of hard work for your child, you're achieving something everyday.

And you're also not pissing 8 grand up the wall, so presumably will be better off than her.

No this is not like for like. You will always IMO be better in work than on benefits (although some people who work still have to claim benefits).

I started off on benefits as a single parent and worked my way up to a high rate tax payer wage. I love work, love seeing colleagues, I feel challenged and really enjoy my job. Now my children are teens it gives me something to focus on and a life outside of my home as my job involves a fair bit of travel and wfh in between. I feel incredibly lucky to be in this position.

It's always been better to be on benefits that to work in a low waged industry.

HOWEVER - people on benefits stay they - they don't move up, they can't, because they can never ever have more than £16,000 worth of money and thats not enough for a deposit on a house these days so although you are probably both equal, at least you have prospects.

Oh that's nothing. My friend on benefits gets paid £5000 a month, has minus two children (so plenty of spare time!), two chefs, a WW2 tank on her drive, and on top of that she burns DWP workers' furniture for firewood.

What’s the apparent breakdown of these benefits?

Sounds very high, particularly if in a not-incredibly-high cost of living area.

Why would she get more to stay in Scotland?

Frankly, if she's also a single parent and having a fourth child at 48 she's off her trolley.

I work for the government… and still don’t earn £2k after taxes

Agree. This is always used to justify seemingly high benefit payments, as if self-sufficient people aren’t subject to the same housing market.

I don't understand your point. My wages need to include my housing costs too 😕 and I take home this than that.

Unless her kids are still small, it's surprising she's not being made to work or do 'work related activity'.

Your friend receives a sum the government has decided is the minimum necessary for her and her dependents to have a minimum standard of living. You need to ask yourself why, then, if the same government insists that work should pay, they are not willing to give you a salary that permits you to enjoy a higher standard of living than your friend.

Does she get pension contributions? Work experience and an ability to earn more and get promoted? Tax free childcare, free hours ? I don’t think it’s comparing like for like. I know which option I’d prefer in the long run.

Also, no ivf place will take on a 48yr old for that little money. It’s not worth their stats. Either she or you are fibbing a little.