Grandparent has put themselves down as primary carer on our holiday booking?

[KSM123]

We have a holiday planned with my in laws with our baby who will be 4 months old at time of travel. My FIL has booked the flights and has today told us that he put himself down as my baby’s primary carer. This instantly made me feel a certain kind of way - maybe hurt and a bit angry - but I wasn’t sure at the time if I was being unreasonable so kept quiet…my understanding is that, with this, baby will need to sit with him on a different row from us for the flight when seatbelts light is on. He will also get her extra 10kg luggage allowance. Technically he will also be responsible for any decisions made for her during the airport and flight should something happen?
I am really not sure why he has put himself down instead of myself or my husband. Am I overthinking it? Maybe it’s not a big deal? I just want to be with my baby through the flight and wish it wasn’t so casually assumed that would be ok with us.
My husband doesn’t seem to care and thinks we will be able to just switch seats so we can be on the row with her but I’m not sure it’s that simple if the flight booking has been made that way.
AIBU?

Ex cabin crew here OP, we never checked who the primary carer was onboard, I've never heard of it to be honest, just carry your baby and have her on your lap, I promise no one will check!

I don’t think there’s ever been any sense of one parent between dh and I having to hold the baby at take off and landing and we’ve flown a bit with babies, short and long haul. But if the airline did say baby has to be with fil, i’d say no and kick up a huge fuss at them taking a baby away from its mum due to an admin error!

He sounds controlling

He'll be telling you what time breakfast is for sure

I would try get the airline to change it. Some airlines give an infant whilst others will include them on the adults. If she’s on your fil’s boarding pass it will cause issues if your not boarding or checking in together (speaking from experience in the exact same situation)

But the airline can allocate to someone else and being on someone else’s boarding pass can be problematic. My mil had my son on her boarding pass and went and boarded ahead of me and the baby (yes also easily avoided if she’d just waited too)

The cabin crew on board won’t care who the baby is sitting with, she will absolutely 100% be able to sit with you. This is also easily amended in the booking for the vast majority of airlines.

Been flying with my kids for many years and never heard of such a thing as primary carer. The baby will be on your lap anyway, and it doesn’t matter whom the baby’s luggage allowance is being carried by. It’s a non issue.

So I've just booked flights with Jet2 and they asked who was the primary carer for our baby and then got a free seat selection for that person..maybe he has chosen himself a preferred seat such as an aisle using this?

Yanbu for being pissed off at the chain of events, but why take a 4mo abroad?

I’ve just booked various flights with three different airlines and, as far as I can recall, all assigned the infant to my (the lead passenger) lap without asking. I’ve also booked flights with Jet2 a couple of months ago and I think the baby was automatically assigned to the lead passenger then too.

Regardless, you can hold the baby instead and change who holds the baby throughout the flight. The only restrictions are if you’re in an emergency exit row or if there’s another infant next to you as there are only 4 oxygen masks per 3 seats. If that’s the case, just swap seats with PILs or the flight attendant will help you find other seats.

Also, the 10kg baggage allowance is a separate suitcase for the baby, not added to your FIL’s suitcase. So maybe clarify that with him or he might end up with an oversized bag at the check in desk and charged accordingly.

i hope this puts your mind at ease, you should definitely be able to hold your child.

They will let your baby sit with you no probs. But your FIL is a bit weird or doesn't understand what primary carer means.

Stupid post. We don't all stop our lives because we have a kid. You can have a great time with a 4mo "abroad." It may also shock you to hear that some of us have family/ roots elsewhere than the UK.

I asked a question of the OP. I didn't expect a rude and sarcastic comment from a random PP, silly me.
Bonne journée, @Auldlang , may people only smile upon you.

There is no baby and carer seat on planes. They’re just seats. You sit in whatever seat has been assigned to your ticket (or swap seat numbers with a member of your group if you want a specific spot that they have) then sit down with the baby on your knee. Air steward will give you belt strap for baby. They will not ask who is “primary carer”. It’s not a thing. Not on these airlines anyway. Trust me. It won’t happen.
Just tell your FIL you’ll be holding baby for take off and pass baby over later if you want to.

No way!

Just don't go.

That is the weirdest thing ever. Wtf does that?

I don't want to throw shade but sitting separately from me with my baby? Not a chance.

As airline staff of over 25 years I've never heard of this. Just sit with your baby, as long as you are in an appropriate seat e.g, not exit row. Check in won't care which bag belongs to who if you're all checking in together. It's fine to switch seats about within your party too if needed.

There’s no wrong end of the stick here at all I’ve just booked 2 jet2 flights and it asked who will be the primary carer and then when it comes to allocating seats it only lets me choose certain ones because I’ll have the baby on my knee as I’m down as primary carer. Some airlines can be funny about sitting in allocated seating particularly for take off landing and when seat belt sign is on. So the OP is right. OP is ring the airline and get it changed.

Enjoy your holiday a and your childfree flight. FiL will soon regret doing that when he's left with "his" baby. 😆

As soon. As he said he'd done that. I would of immediately said how kind you want to be free nanny for our child while we go off and explore and sunbathe and have nice dinners.

You think google is reliable for this sort of information?!

Its AI

What an odd question. Why not? It’s a great time to take a baby abroad. They aren’t on the move, nor do they need solid food. I’ve taken all 4 of mine away at around that age.

I'd call his bluff and say thanks so much for offering to look after her for the flight. You will bring an eye mask and headphones, and are looking forward to having a couple of G&Ts before catching up on sleep.

Because you can't leave them at home when you go on holiday with the rest of your family?

for all those who are saying people mustn’t fly much, I fly with my kids 4 times a year and the OP is correct but it’s a jet2 thing. OP just ring the airline.

I have never been on a flight where the cabin crew do a check to see that every passenger is sitting in their allocated seat - it would be carnage!
I have seen a passenger moved because she was in an exit row with a child and the other parent was sitting elsewhere. That meant some juggling round as the child couldnt just swap. But checking tickets? No.
OP, you will be absolutely fine. You can sit in the seat allocated for the baby. Also, your baby luggage allowance means it has its own bag.