Page 7 | To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

Youngishh · 2025-02-02T20:49:07+00:00

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

calatheamama · 02/02/2025 22:09

Hmm. I used to think that it was when I was 14yrs old and had to call an ambulance for my dad on NYE - he was an alcoholic and had flown into a rage after a phone call with his brother. He had locked himself into a bedroom and was just wailing - I still remember the awful sound of it. He was so drunk that he ended up in alcohol-induced psychosis before spending NYE in a psychiatric ward. They whisked my mum and my dad away in the ambulance, but I had to spend the night looking after my little 9yr old brother. Dad never apologised or thanked me.

Then later, as an adult, being the victim of years long domestic abuse and sexual coercion, resulting in my partner from said former relationship being arrested. The feeling of sitting alone, shaking, in the silent house in the aftermath of the incident was harrowing. Clearing all my stuff when I moved out and seeing how cold and empty the house looked was bad, too.

That said, putting my darling 12yr old cat (first pet as an adult) to sleep after a cancer battle was quite far up the list of horrible things to experience. It's almost worse when a creature so innocent is involved.

Gosh, so many people have been through so much :'( wishing everyone strength and solidarity.

pestowithwalnuts · 02/02/2025 22:09

In the early 1970's when I was 15 I stupidly got pregnant. A first time and I ended up in a right mess.
My parents were very Victorian.. wouldn't let me go to the disco at school .talk to boys etc
I left it too late to tell them and I had the baby and they made me have him adopted.
It was the way they treated me.,I will never forget it I knew I'd made a big mistake but was made to feel so ashamed.
I wasn't allowed to go out in case the neighbours saw me. I could only go for a walk when it got dark.
It was a dark bleak time.
I was ashamed and I still am

minerva7 · 02/02/2025 22:09

RogersOrganismicProcess · 02/02/2025 21:16

My daughter’s death. Learning how quickly and unexpectedly life can turn upside down. It shook me to my core and has made me so fearful for my other children. It doesn’t take much before I am imagining the worst.

The knowledge of how quickly life can change irreparably is one of the worst things I found in the aftermath of my husbands suicide.

I am far too overprotective of my children and like you as soon as they are out of my sight I believe the worst will happen and I'll never see them again.

It is a living hell ❤️

minerva7 · 02/02/2025 22:10

RogersOrganismicProcess · 02/02/2025 21:16

My daughter’s death. Learning how quickly and unexpectedly life can turn upside down. It shook me to my core and has made me so fearful for my other children. It doesn’t take much before I am imagining the worst.

And I'm so so sorry about the loss of your daughter ❤️

Wordsmithery · 02/02/2025 22:10

My father abandoning us when I was little. My big brother estranging himself from the family when I was 12 and he was 18. Haven't seen him for over 40 years. Have never been able to trust men.

maybein2022 · 02/02/2025 22:10

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 02/02/2025 21:22

Supporting DD1 through a life threatening diagnosis of anorexia when she was 16. At her worst she went 5 days without eating, collapsed, was hospitalised, sectioned and tube fed. The night before she was sectioned I was sitting by her hospital bed holding her hand (because of her abrupt physical decline she was on a paediatric ward in our local hospital and I was allowed to stay with her), her heart monitor kept going off and I could see no hope at all. Part of me wished for neither of us to wake up. Though in reality even that thought gave me no peace as I had 2 younger DC at home who also needed me.

She is 23 now, in established recovery and doing a PGCE. We are so thankful, but those times will forever haunt me.

I just had to respond to this one as my daughter is in the throes of anorexia and this message has given me hope. Thank you, and I am so glad she’s doing so well now.

To everyone- sending all who have been through so much trauma much love and strength.

Galaxyheart · 02/02/2025 22:11

My Dsis died in February last year from cancer aged 48, and then my DH died in June,aged 51, from cancer. 2024 was the worst year of my life 😩

MJconfessions · 02/02/2025 22:11

Constructive dismissal

JHound · 02/02/2025 22:12

Oooh this has made me think of- maybe I am lucky but I have never had truly gut wrenching life experiences. I recall being bullied at work and my uncle dying as being up there but that was it.

Also the usual bad relationships but I was fully independent so could exit them as they became too toxic.

Nonaynevernomore · 02/02/2025 22:13

pestowithwalnuts · 02/02/2025 22:09

In the early 1970's when I was 15 I stupidly got pregnant. A first time and I ended up in a right mess.
My parents were very Victorian.. wouldn't let me go to the disco at school .talk to boys etc
I left it too late to tell them and I had the baby and they made me have him adopted.
It was the way they treated me.,I will never forget it I knew I'd made a big mistake but was made to feel so ashamed.
I wasn't allowed to go out in case the neighbours saw me. I could only go for a walk when it got dark.
It was a dark bleak time.
I was ashamed and I still am

Edited

Please please forgive yourself, have you had therapy?

Bloodycatswakingmeuponasaturday · 02/02/2025 22:13

I found out my mum had a terminal illness and had weeks to live and then was made redundant the next day. She died within a few weeks and then my job disappeared. Such a difficult time.

minerva7 · 02/02/2025 22:14

FlickFlackTrap · 02/02/2025 21:20

The death of my sister when we were both teenagers and watching my parents fall apart. Grief is a bitch.

It is. I'm so sorry that all happened to you and sorry for the loss of your sister. You were so young to have to deal with all of that ❤️

NewBrightonEel · 02/02/2025 22:14

When my daughter died - she was 27 and from diagnosis to her death was seven and a half weeks, and she was in an induced coma so we couldn't even say a proper goodbye.

SisterAgatha · 02/02/2025 22:15

Parents divorced
My dad then died of cancer when I was 12
Mum was an addict
We were super poor, probably neglected and emotionally abused
Bullied at school
Sexually assaulted twice
I did have fertility struggles but nothing major
One of my children has a learning delay and I’ve very little support
I seem to cope quite well with things these days though, I don’t know if my emotions even work properly actually.

Im so sorry to hear of all these really sad stories xxx

minerva7 · 02/02/2025 22:15

MoralHighGroundGrandWizard · 02/02/2025 21:21

Holding my son while he died at 6 months old. And the entire 6 months of his life; seeing him on ECMO with an open chest after open heart surgery, watching him fight every day. Watching him crash and end up on a vent.

No words 😞❤️

Klozza · 02/02/2025 22:15

My mum who I was very close to took her own life in a violent and upsetting way back in November of 2024, a week before I was due to give birth to my daughter, and she was meant to be one of my birthing partners. It was very sudden and she had no previous mental health issues as far as we all knew. I had to then bring my 1 week old baby to her funeral. I wad then made redundant a month later, and I’m the main provider in the house. So all in all, a horrific couple of months.

Brinkley22 · 02/02/2025 22:15

Thelimitdoesnotexist9 · 02/02/2025 22:06

Growing up with two alcoholic, physically abusive parents. I never felt safe. I finally escaped at 19 and my entire adult life has been a muddle of counselling, grief for my non existent childhood and anger. I hate that it’s had such an effect on me and I wish I could just operate like a normal human being, but the trauma is so deep that it is triggered by so many things. It’s a painful process but hopefully one I’m finally emerging from. My DD is now the light of my life and I take so much solace from the fact I’m breaking the cycle and she will never experience that.

Really moved by you breaking the cycle 💛

Ginghamsheep · 02/02/2025 22:16

Not being able to have a child and the harsh realisation that I will die alone without a single family member in the world.

Totalfuckingshitshow · 02/02/2025 22:17

Cardiac arrests, husband betrayal with my friend, my tiny newborn in PICU with a heart that kept trying to stop for no reason, and my mum’s sudden death in her sleep. All in one year, pretty much.

Shefliesonherownwings · 02/02/2025 22:17

The death of my DD 5 years ago. She died suddenly and unexpectedly during labour. She was our first born and only girl and it’s still a real struggle day to day.

LoudPlumDog · 02/02/2025 22:17

I’m currently going through the hardest time in my life, right now!

My 21 year old daughter dropped dead in November 2024, I found her, her 23 year old sister and I had to perform CPR until the Paramedics arrived. She could not be saved.
Organising her funeral.
Burying her.
Walking past her bedroom door multiple times a day.
I feel like I’m in a nightmare than I need to wake up from.

adviceneeded1990 · 02/02/2025 22:18

Infertility. Had 3 rounds of IVF and not even managed a transfer. Round #4 in March. Within that time 5/6 of my closest friends have given birth, one of them twice, and my DSDs Mum (DHs ex wife) has given her two siblings. I feel useless, pointless, sometimes actively suicidal,
and the faint hope of a baby one day is all I’m clinging on to.

Onthefence87 · 02/02/2025 22:18

sushiandarollie · 02/02/2025 22:04

My husband being diagnosed with a rare cancer aged 35, 5 months after our wedding and when our baby was a year old (& realising he had the cancer on our wedding day) . We’d spent the previous few years going through infertility and IVF and I thought that was the hardest thing at the time. It’s changed us forever.
I still get sad when friends have weddings, have children when they want ,with no worries about the future. A friend always talks about doing things with her children as teenagers (they’re preschool age) and we can’t think that far ahead. I’m constantly terrified.

So sorry your wedding day got ruined by trauma too, even more so :(

hopelessbusiness · 02/02/2025 22:18

Looking after my lovely big brother who received a shock cancer diagnosis out of the blue, and died 9 weeks later aged just 55. Having to be strong for our father, collecting the 'just in case' emergency prescription (I think it was the pitying looks I got at the pharmacy), asking him what he wanted at his funeral, cleaning him up after accidents, running myself ragged trying to do any little things that might give him momentary pleasure...I was so glad I was able to do this for him but it's changed me on a fundamental level.
I hope he knew how much I loved him.

JHound · 02/02/2025 22:19

Ginghamsheep · 02/02/2025 22:16

Not being able to have a child and the harsh realisation that I will die alone without a single family member in the world.

💔

This is awful to hear. Do you have no extended family at all?