Too scared to fly tomorrow

[Hoohootootoo]

Got a holiday booked flying tomorrow, 2 hour flight with my husband and two young children. I am terrified of the flight it’s made me ill today. I don’t think I can do it. What do I do.
I feel on the verge of a panic attack. I already know I have adhd and ocd. I’m so envious of people who have a typical brain 😔

amongst other things we tried for my dd who has a fear of flying, gp suggested phernergan which seems to help her relax( obviously check its ok for you to take with other medicines). Good luck 💐

I’ve never flown since my DC have been born for this very reason, your thought process is the same as mine.
Do you drive? Because of course as everybody knows, flying is much safer than driving a car. If you can drive then you can take this flight.

Given recent events it’s understandable.

But it’s likely safer after an accident purely because very person involved with the flight will be aware of this and triple checking everything.

I used to have diazepam for flights, back when they used to prescribe it. Now I have a glass of wine or two beforehand, and it helps so much. I didn’t drink before my most recent flight (as I felt sick) and I ended up having a panic attack. I will definitely be drinking before my next flight!

I get anxious sometimes and do this. I never want to stop flying as I want to go home (UK) to see my family.
Flightradar is brilliant for calming the nerves and helping you realise there are SO many flights every day and crashing so very very rarely happens.

Takeoff is really only a minute or two if think about it. Is 2 minutes of terror worse than limiting your life for?

I’m not going to try to talk you out of your fear, it is what it is. But I think you should focus on figuring out out how to cope with it and get through it.

I get it. It can be a scary place to be - the feeling of taking off and leaving hard ground. BUT. I try and give myself a bit of a talking to, which is what you're doing here by posting.
There's a big wide world out there, with amazing places to explore and discover, the experience of going on holiday for your children is such a gift to give them, they'll be so excited. Look at their faces and focus on their joy, don't let them see your fear or anxiety.
Hold hands with your dp on takeoff and plaster a grin on your face - it will be fine .
And breath

I used to be petrified too op, think white knuckling at take off. However I've moved abroad and frequently fly back to the uk and I've had to get used to it. What really helped me was talking to the cabin crew. They really put your mind at ease when they explain how safe it is. I think for me it was rooted in having no idea how aerodynamics worked.

I second Flightradar.

Think about why you booked the flight in the first place. Focus on that and what you’re going to do when you get to where you’re going.

I'm terrified of flying too. Like PP, i really recommend Bachs Rescue Remedy - lots of it! Also found that flying with young children was easier somehow as I had to concentrate on wrangling them and keeping them happy.

One thing that has worked for me is tapping my foot on the floor and making myself think about being in a car or train. Sounds dumb I know but it's kept me from panic in the past.

Remember that flying is statistically one of the safest ways to travel. And plane ceases are high profile because they are rare.

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Download this Flying with Confidence book. It's the one I use - written by a BA pilot.

If you completely relax your body you can't be nervous. Download the book and do the calming relaxation ritual (use an elastic band to snap on your wrist).

Anyway I've taken 6 flights since - I'll never be completely relaxed but I'm managing to fly!

I have the same fears as you. I remember going on my honeymoon and being petrified because the Malaysian airlines plane had just been shot down and the other one had gone missing. I think I ended up getting some medication to calm me down from the Dr.

On the last night we stayed in a hotel by the airport and there was a plane taking off every few minutes and it really helped me realise just how many flights are in the air at any time and then I could rationalise the statistics a bit. As a pp suggested maybe looking at all the flights on flight tracker would have a similar effect for you?

I totally get this. I imagined something going wrong and wishing I'd never made the decision to go. But then I realised that rationally, if you followed that thought through to its conclusion, you'd literally never leave your bed unless it was absolutely essential, in case something bad happened and you'd made the choice to go for an "unnecessary" reason. And then I just decided that I never wanted my DDs to feel the same anxiety and decided to just do it and fake the calm until i felt better. It's so much better now. Good luck.

Cars are the most dangerous mode of transport - that is a fact.

Flying is the safest mode of transport there is.
Doesn't help when the media report plane crashes but this is because they are extremely rare. Doesn't seem like it tho because of how they go about reporting them, it installs fear in you, making them appear more often than they actually are. You have a much higher chance of dying in your car every time you drive than you ever would stepping foot on a plane, no matter how many times you fly.

Four tips:
noise cancelling headphones
maths as in calculating all the planes that will fly safely today
prayer
glass of your favourite alcohol.
try them in rotation x

For perspective anything can happen anywhere, on 'firm soil too' . It's just a fact of life, you could not fly and then get hit by a bus . Try and keep perspective and have a wonderful time, the flight is statistically probably the safest part of the trip.

I’ve managed to overcome my fear of flying as I am determined to not pass it onto my kids, using a combination of hypnotherapy, exposure therapy & Valium to the point now where I really look forward to flying & getting to somewhere fabulous 🙂

Turns out my main fear was not being in control of the plane & allowing yourself to be carried as a passenger.

i also read that statistically you’re more likely to be killed by your own trousers & if you flew nonstop flight after flight it would be 100 years until you were in a crash & even then you’re more likely to survive - not sure how true these are but always makes me feel better.

Op noise cancelling headphones are brilliant for flying & next time you see a plane in the sky, visualise yourself sitting comfortably on that plane with a G & T in hand reading a book or watching a movie on your way to a fabulous holiday in the sun, think of all the memories you’re missing out on 👍🏻

Good luck, you can do it 💪🏻

I totally sympathise op - though it’s not flying that worries me, it’s ferries because I suffer from emetophobia.
I hope you can find a solution for your fear, it’s such a horrible feeling as as soon as one’s arrived one starts dreading the journey back.

I keep it on the whole flight because it weirdly makes me feel in control 😂 I also ping an elastic band against my wrist because it distracts me from thinking about the plane!

go on YouTube. plenty of clips by experienced pilots explaining why flying is so safe - always helped me. I have 4 dead family members and one in a wheelchair (results of 3 separate RTA). It's always a stark reminder how much more dangerous driving is. Try to rationalise it.

Too late for tomorrow but I find that one diazepam taken an hour before my flight helps enormously . Posters are right that many GPs will no longer prescribe but I was able to get a private prescription - the GP I saw was fully in agreement with me that this was far better than feeling I needed to turn to alcohol to get me through it.

I have also done an online Fearless flyer course (purchased through EasyJet when I thought I could no longer get the diazepam and recommended by my GP practice) and I did find there listening to the pilot talk through what is going on during your flight to be helpful .

You could see if there are any herbal calming tablets on sale at the boots store at the airport ? In an emergency I would go with a glass of wine.

Where are you flying from and to ? I think what happened in Washington was very much to do with difficulties around that particular airport .

Op, perhaps if you decide not to go it will help you to conquer your fear a bit and go on the trip.

My DH developed a fear of flying after we had children, he refused to fly for over 5 years.

It's a very real fear and he got help with NLP he went to see someone for 4 session that helped him, after that he's been fine ever since.

I think NLP taps into your subconscious fears and gives you method to cope, he used to listen to the therapy on headphones when flying but gradually didn't have too.

Maybe a bit late advice but maybe something to look up?

Do you have headphones, maybe if your DH can juggle the kids you could look for some calming talking therapy on Spotify or the calm app.