How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

Hmmm ok 3700 and 860 on rent, so they have 2840 left a month to play with, before any overtime added.

im not sure a mot on a lease car or Xmas accounts for the thousands and thousands being spent op. And I don’t think you do to be honest.

and it’s not just this month, you said he’d also asked his parents.

After rent, they have approx £3000 left monthly. They don't pay for childcare. Do you still think it is reasonable or fair to postpone your retirement for them? Without more information, this doesn't seem like a COL issue.

They are bad with money - possibly because they know their parents will help them out.
They need to stand on their own two feet.

£3700 to £4000 is not a "vast" overestimation.

£3700K net - assuming it's equal with 10% pension (I know it's unlikely but there is no info otherwise), that's basically a £29K x 2 = £58K household gross income excluding child benefit.
Their rent is 23% of their net income so on paper, they should easily afford it regardless of the rise in the COL for everyone. In comparison, DS's rent is close to 40% of his net income and I know he manages to save every month.
They definitely need to scrutinise their incomings and expenditure and maybe take steps to improve their credit rating for future mortgage applications.

I’m sorry @Allthenameshavegone1972 but they should be able to live comfortably on that amount and probably save a bit .

3700
-1500 for bills (approximately)
That leaves them 2200
-800 car fees
That leaves them 1400

They should not be struggling.

@bringmetolife not quite sure what you're getting out of the come backs but as you seem to want the maths... The take home on £19.5k (min wage minus the pension and minus the tax) plus CB was the £1600 we were all guessing at. And that's allowing a large % for pension. The likelihood was it was the take home for two full time adults was going to be a bit above that just because it didn't seem that likely that someone struggling was putting over 10% into a pension.

But that was when we didn't know the actual figures and so it's all moot. The OP has since got the real earnings of the couple which is £3700 a month. Which STILL means the original point is valid: this is well within the range that would make a £850 monthly rent perfectly doable unless there is something else going on, like abnormally high spending or debts.

@Allthenameshavegone1972

I actually think your DD is getting a hard time on this thread. Everyone knows the cost of everything has shot up & they were fortunate to be able to live cheaply before & it must be a shock having to cover everything.

If they are on minimum wage, or maybe a little more, then they won't have much cash spare.

You haven't said how expensive the cars are though. They might suddenly have quite a lot more once those are paid off.

They’ve about 3 grand! Daddy warbucks here calling it not much, 😂

I think the op is struggling to believe that she's being scammed by her dd and sil hence the defensiveness.

£3,700 is not far off £4000!!!!!

also they aren’t piss poor if they are paying for swimming lessons for their kid(s). We can’t afford that

so their gross income is roughly £46K = £23K each pa.

They need help with budgeting.

Our CB always went into the joint account to be used as we saw fit.

If they need to borrow money for essentials they should be budgeting for those before swimming etc.

@NewHeaven no I do not believe my daughter is scamming me. It's only the second time in 3 years, so not a regular thing; but it shouldn't happen at all if you budget properly.

@Lighterlilly

But if they have something like £800/month in car loans then that's a lot out of a minimum wage salary. I think if it's their first home it is probably a shock having to pay council tax, water etc.

I couldn't afford swimming lessons for mine - they're actually expensive & my parents did help with things like that. But we have always driven old second hand cars.

So why write this thread about her despairing. how life can’t improve for her, About how you need to work till you drop to pay her rent going forward. How she will need to move in with her in-laws. Asking how anyone can afford their bills.

ghey can clearly afford their bills. Why they are asking you and the other parents for money, none of us know, as you don’t either. However clearly they are spending up big style as they don’t even have savings and they should have,

Yes if they’ve been stupid enough to take 800 out on loans it’s a lot of debt, bit they still habe a lot left. There is no way round this. No matter how much a shock it is to pay your own bills. The bottom line and indisputable fact is they earn enough to pay their bills.

Something is very wrong if they can’t afford that cheap rent on 2 salary’s and no childcare costs

yes they should have stayed with inlaws. Maybe they should go back if struggling paying rent

and save some money. Rent and bills

get them to write down all costs including car loans and see where their income goes

@Blondeshavemorefun done that tonight so I hope she sees where it's going wrong.

They'd be waiting forever today.

Constant need for the new iPhone? If they actually truthfully wrote expenditure down, they'll see where it is, but they won't.

That's super cheap.

You probably need to sit down and do a breakdown of their finances with them instead of just handing over money.

I'm 29 and pay much more than that, live alone and bills on top

@Lighterlilly

Yes if they’ve been stupid enough to take 800 out on loans it’s a lot of debt

Well OP hasn't responded as to what sort of cars they are driving. So I am guessing they're not 5 year old fiestas!

I know houses are sooo expensive nowadays but so many younger people seem to have really big, new cars. It seems to be a priority over paying off a mortgage or into a pension. It’s madness.

So £3700 plus cb is actually very close to the 4k that you said was a vast over-estimation!

They need to write down what their monthly outgoings are as they shouldn’t be struggling to afford that kind of rent. They should be able to put money aside each month to cover Christmas (which should not be excessive if they’re in low paid jobs), car services, etc as they arise.

Oh well, so not so much of a "shit show" generally more of a FUBAR by OP's DD and partner!
(Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition)