How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

Ditch the cars, save for 5 years, buy one bed flat and start from there, so you have at least something.

I work 35 hours at about 50p an hour above nmw and take home 1,400 ish, I pay into a pension scheme, aswell as tax and ni. So it wont be more than 1,500 they take home.

Both DH and I have pensions thanks. I work part time and DH full time. DH work also offer a salary sacrifice so he uses that and puts more into his pension.

There are quite large 1 bed flats around the whole of the UK, just a bit above 50 sq m, you can fit a family and start living with some normality

Personally I thought the general tone was pretty accusatory and unfriendly. But then it’s MN 🤷‍♀️

Noone is forcing you to stay on Mumsnet reading threads you don't like though, you are choosing to be here reading 🤔

Our rent is 1200. Our take home is only 2700
Then we have all the usual bills. It's a scrape.

I am guessing that now the Op knows their income, she’s planning an interesting chat with her daughter!

Well to you all vastly over estimating their net pay: I've just had confirmation that their combined net pay is £3700. They do pay into a workplace pension. I don't count the cb, as thar is for clothes/swimming lessons etc for dgs. So something has gone wrong somewhere this month. I know they have had car service/mots this month, Xmas last month,but don't know about other months. She's not into botox & all that & I know my own daughter well enough to know she'd NEVER rip me off. We have brought her up better than that thank you very much; so now it's down to her to compare what is on my budget I've prepared for to what's happening in real life

Ur....

Minimum wage = £11.44 per hour. For a 37.5 hour week, that's £429 a week, £1859 per month.

The £1600 'guess' at per person take home, already allows for £250 per month as a pension payment.

@Allthenameshavegone1972 if you don't believe your daughter is the one who is bad with money management, then it has to her partner.
Does he gamble? Expensive hobbies? Drinks?
Just had a thought, does the partner have other children he is paying for?

This.

My ds and his gf both have average salary jobs and rent a one bed flat for £1000pcm. This is in the north west. So the rent is pretty cheap for a 2-3 bed house wherever you are!

Vastly overestimating?! Add child benefit - It’s not far off the £4k a month figure you said was ridiculous 😆

£3700 plus child benefit and no childcare costs

poor OP, her own daughter taking the piss

Most people were estimating their income at around £3200 including CB.

Obviously £3700 plus CB is considerably more. They should be saving for Christmas and car repairs in advance.

People have recommended Moneysaving Expert, which has good information on budgeting and about how it's not a good idea to go all out at Christmas without saving in advance because, as they have discovered, it causes problems in January.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

so something has gone wrong somewhere this month

more regularly than just this month op Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860.

I don't think you're being scammed per se but you've been quite naive and obviously expected everyone to agree how difficult your DD's situation is, but in the reality the sums don't add up to her struggling

Good grief
OP at least now you know

So next time they come to you cap in hand, you can say no and not feel guilty!

So did I hence why I increased the total to 4k, not reduced it?

If their net pay is £3700 plus CB then they should easily be able to pay their rent.

something really isn't adding up here OP. Please don't lend them any money until you understand where the money is going.

OP now knows that it is pretty much £4k a month despite OP’s horror at the suggestion of £4k upthread

I think the op's anger/disappointment/realisation is being misdirected to @TicklishRubyCritic

@SnowdropPancake first you forget the pension, now you forget the tax ……. Most people have to pay both you know…..