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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you hire a morbidly obese Nanny?

606 replies

whompingwillo · 01/02/2025 11:50

I would like to hire someone we’ve met for my 9 month old baby. She’s fab, great with kids, lovely, I have no concerns.

I would estimate her BMI is 50-60 and my husband noticed that it is a struggle for her to get up and down off the floor and he is worried that if baby was in danger she may struggle.

So what would you do? Do you think that weight could impact a job like this? I’m sure people of this weight have their own children and are safe to look after them?

YABU - morbid obesity could impact her ability to do this job

YANBU - she’ll be fine

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 12:21

I would, but then I know plenty of people of that kind of size and none of them struggle in the way PP's seem to think they do.

LadyTangerine · 01/02/2025 12:21

No. Apart from the ability to do a very active job she will sadly be prone to ill health being that size and I'd guess would have lots of sick leave.

TheKeatingFive · 01/02/2025 12:22

ImNoSuperman · 01/02/2025 12:18

So many judgemental people here. Guess no one with a BMI over 40 should be allowed to have children since they are such a safeguarding risk and will have a heart attack or stroke while looking after their own children.

Look after your own kids @whompingwillo

People are just being practical and thinking of the child.

If people with very high BMIs want to have children, that's entirely up to them and nothing to do with anyone else. But when it comes to employing someone to look after your own child, naturally it's a concern.

HundredPercentUnsure · 01/02/2025 12:23

RosesAndHellebores · 01/02/2025 11:59

No. If she's as overweight as you say she won't be modelling good earing habits to your baby/young child.

I think that is hard to judge really. She might be taking steps to improve her health in which case she could be a great role model for that. But there is the presumptive assumption as well that this might not be the case. 🤷

Oneflewovermydogsbed · 01/02/2025 12:23

Errr how did you reach the figure of 50-60 !?

Flossflower · 01/02/2025 12:24

Years ago someone I knew hired a very overweight nanny. The child could be seen around the town and at her local park. The nanny was always eating and so was the child. The nanny was giving her some unsuitable snacks.

whippy1981 · 01/02/2025 12:24

LadyTangerine · 01/02/2025 12:21

No. Apart from the ability to do a very active job she will sadly be prone to ill health being that size and I'd guess would have lots of sick leave.

Prone to ill health? You mean she is ignored by health professionals so doesn't get offered treatment in a timely manner as thin people do so has to go back time and time again before they relent?

Bubblegumtatoos · 01/02/2025 12:25

BMI of 50 is different to 60.

I would not hire her if I was you because you are already doubting her ability. It just won’t work because of this not necessarily because of her size.

PennyApril54 · 01/02/2025 12:25

No she needs to be able too move around freely for a number of reasons and id imagine she'd get tired more easily than others too, it's s shame but it's just not a suitable arrangement.

ERthree · 01/02/2025 12:26

I wouldn't hire someone with anxiety to be an ATC and i wouldn't hire anyone that was so fat to be a nanny. Not everyone is fit for every job.

BobbyBiscuits · 01/02/2025 12:26

No. It's an active role. Kids want someone to run about with and play boisterously and do sporty things together. Or at least taking him for walks in the park and to the woods etc.
If she fell over she probably would end up with a fracture or more than one. A lighter, healthier person would be less likely to fall, and if they did less likely to be gravely hurt or unable to get up.
I'd also worry about the food they might be offering my child. Too big portions, too much junk etc.

PennyApril54 · 01/02/2025 12:26

whippy1981 · 01/02/2025 12:24

Prone to ill health? You mean she is ignored by health professionals so doesn't get offered treatment in a timely manner as thin people do so has to go back time and time again before they relent?

Show quote history

No I think this person probably means there is extra pressure on her joints, organs etc that could cause issues

Spongedbob · 01/02/2025 12:27

I was going to say could you give her a trial period. but then if it doesn’t work out and you want to let her go, it could be tricky and you could end up with a discrimination accusation against you.
Your child’s health and safety must come first; so I think it has to be a no.

LadyTangerine · 01/02/2025 12:27

whippy1981 · 01/02/2025 12:24

Prone to ill health? You mean she is ignored by health professionals so doesn't get offered treatment in a timely manner as thin people do so has to go back time and time again before they relent?

Show quote history

No I mean as she is morbidly obese she will be prone to illhealth. Back problems, knee problems, thr type 2 diabetes risk. The list sadly goes on. If you're employing someone to look after a dc and be reliable they do need to be fit and active.

ThatSchoolOfficeLady · 01/02/2025 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Do you have a poster of the 7 deadly sins on your wall? Talk about bad role model.....

lastminutetrip · 01/02/2025 12:28

CornishPorsche · 01/02/2025 11:55

Are you sure about BMI 50-60? Assuming she's the national average height for a woman in the UK of 5'3" she'd be around 17 - 20 stone?

I know a lot of women who are around that weight bracket.

TempestTost · 01/02/2025 12:28

I'm a no on this too.

I've hired a morbidly obese person in my workplace, and even modified the job a bit to accommodate his movement limitations. But I'd be worried about it with a nanny.

Garlicworth · 01/02/2025 12:28

Agreeing with all the PPs except the 'gluttony' one (!) ... I think you should discuss it with her. Yes, awkward! But you obviously love everything about her bar her physical fitness, which is a valid concern for this role. And it can be changed, usually.

Depending on how this goes, you might end up agreeing that she'll try the injections if her GP says there aren't any contraindications, and you might all end up happier for it.

arcticpandas · 01/02/2025 12:28

There is a huge difference between morbidly obese and overweight! You can be overweight and still be very fit and active. As for morbese people they do have mobility problems so that would be a no from me.

whippy1981 · 01/02/2025 12:30

PennyApril54 · 01/02/2025 12:26

No I think this person probably means there is extra pressure on her joints, organs etc that could cause issues

Show quote history

Could - so not necessarily and given that thin people are also ill but are treated in a timely manner. Maybe your concern is about them not being treated when ill. Whereas a thin person would be an they could be back to work quicker you mean?

What I said was factual. Fat people do not receive medical care they pay for in a timely manner.

TiggyTomCat · 01/02/2025 12:30

Sorry I mis read the vote...YABU. Right now as lovely as I'm sure she is she is going for a job. She was down on the floor playing - but as your husband saw struggled to get up. Cynical me wonders how much she would get down on the floor to play when you aren't around.

ImustLearn2Cook · 01/02/2025 12:31

@whompingwillo I have known people who are overweight but are fitter than I am now. I worked in Childcare (0-5 yr olds) for over a decade. I think you call childcare or crèche and kindergarten, nursery in the UK. I also, worked as a nanny for a bit too.

Anyway, the reason that I have left childcare etc. is because I have a back and hip problem and arthritis. I struggle getting up from the floor (I also struggle getting down to the floor too).

If you and your husband noticed that she struggles with getting up from the floor that is what should be your concern. Not her weight. Some overweight people do not have that problem. Looking after children can be physically demanding and being able to meet those physical demands (despite weight, age etc) is important just as much as being great with children. HTH.

TheWorminLabyrinth · 01/02/2025 12:32

This reply has been deleted

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Why don't you lay it out - exactly what message does she send?

RosaBaby2 · 01/02/2025 12:33

It's really sad reading some of these posts.

I understand your concerns but I would be looking at it totally on a case by case basis and just because someone's slim it doesn't mean they are going to run around all the time, they could be really lazy.

Fat people can be good role models too, some posters seem to think not which is utter bull.

Bubblegumtatoos · 01/02/2025 12:33

ThatSchoolOfficeLady · 01/02/2025 12:27

Do you have a poster of the 7 deadly sins on your wall? Talk about bad role model.....

Show quote history

I have to admit this is a shocking way to put it however, after being brought up by glutinous parents and being glutinous and obese myself as a child/teenager (never a BMI of 50 though) this poster does have a valid point.

Thankfully, my DC are now adults and have broken this cycle of gluttony and I hope they continue to do so if they decide to have DC of their own.

It really does make a difference having good role models when defining your lifelong relationship with food. IME anyway.