Would you hire a morbidly obese Nanny?

[whompingwillo]

I would like to hire someone we’ve met for my 9 month old baby. She’s fab, great with kids, lovely, I have no concerns.

I would estimate her BMI is 50-60 and my husband noticed that it is a struggle for her to get up and down off the floor and he is worried that if baby was in danger she may struggle.

So what would you do? Do you think that weight could impact a job like this? I’m sure people of this weight have their own children and are safe to look after them?

YABU - morbid obesity could impact her ability to do this job

YANBU - she’ll be fine

I think that @LadyTangerine was just trying to be helpful.

So @whompingwillo what are you going to do.

I think the talk of a (paid-for) day's trial is a good one - a whole weekend if possible. I'd be doing a day's trial with anyone, regardless.

Unsolicited health advice is never helpful.

It's a chat forum, we share opinions and advice. Rather like your advice about parenting
If your children are running all over the place and they aren't in a park/play area, then you should probably take a long, hard look at your parenting skills.

I genuinely don't think my sister would be alive today if it wasn't for some unsolicited health advice she received on Reddit.

We're all however, free to ignore it.

That's nice. As a disabled person who receives lots of unsolicited health advice, I don't need it, nor appreciate it. I have teams of professionals who actually know me, who I take advice from. Let's not derail the thread, is it?

It was more than 'nice' that my sister didn't die at a young age.

But I think you just want an argument so I'll leave you to it.

It really isn't. Gluttony (which is the main cause of obesity) has been considered a serious character/moral flaw since literally forever.

Greek and Roman intellectuals railed against it (Aristotle talks about it repeatedly in his discussions of moderation, Seneca uses it as an example of overindulgence in sensual pleasure, etc). The Bible and Christians are scathing about it. It even shows up as one of the classical seven deadly sins: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins

Lack of willpower and an inability to control your appetite is a serious character flaw. This has been the case in basically every civilised culture forever. The only reason its changed during the last 10-15 years has been due to a regrettable influx of American culture where obesity has become normalised.

@BeDeepKoala Depression was also seen as a serious character flaw.

No, it wasnt (and even if it was, so what?)

Yes it was. My point is that understanding has changed.

Imo <not unsolicited advice just an opinion> the problem is overeating has become medicalised. So every morbidly obese person will say it is because of this hormone imbalance or that syndrome not because of the quantities they consume.

Look at ozempic, it works because it reduces appetite.

I'm not saying it is easy and I certainly wouldn't look down on an obese person but show me one who says 'yes I eat far too much of all the wrong things' and that will be the point when the problem can be addressed.

It hasnt really changed; most people (correctly) still look down on the obese, there's just more of a taboo around saying it in public due to attitudes that have been imported from America.

You're kidding yourself if you think that being obese isnt going to be held against people when it comes to how others assess/treat them.

Over 20 stone would be BMI 50 for that height.

I think it should depend on the nanny's fitness level but weighed up against her other skills.

My worry with an obese nanny is the food culture she would share with my child.

I used to be obese and managed to get down to a normal BMI by completely changing my diet, avoiding processed food and sugar etc. That is what worked for me and how I eat day-to-day (with some exceptions for special events).

I obviously would like to share my food culture with my child, as all parents do.

I would also like to help my child avoid some of the difficulties I had with food growing up. My parents were very well-meaning but let me eat stuff like frosties with extra sugar on top on a daily basis.

Telling kids about 'good' or 'bad' food might be harmful, however. Imo the best way is for the adults to simply model healthy eating. I would worry that someone who is obese would have a relationship to food that I would not want modelled for my child.

But if this lady comes from a respected agency and has recent references, OP can check all this out. I'm assuming she isn't looking to hire some random off the street, or indeed someone with no recent, traceable experience.

I don't really understand why OP seems to be guessing and assuming when all she needs to do is what most employers do...look into the candidate's recent employment history.

How many obese old people do you see walking around? Why might that be?

For you.

No, not looking for an argument in the slightest - I'm allowed to not want unsolicited health advice. That's not why I'm here and I didn't ask for it.

No, absolutely not. DD's nursery had a morbidly obese member of staff and I was a bit worried about how quickly she would be able to react of left alone with the children.

Gluttons, bad influences, not fit to be around children, have I missed anything?
Fuck me this thread is an absolute delight!

Yes youve focused on the very few negative comments and ignored the majority of reasonable, informed posts.

Very few? Really? All I can see is this thread is dripping with disdain and judgement of people who are percieved to be fat.

Perceived to be fat?