Would you hire a morbidly obese Nanny?

[whompingwillo]

I would like to hire someone we’ve met for my 9 month old baby. She’s fab, great with kids, lovely, I have no concerns.

I would estimate her BMI is 50-60 and my husband noticed that it is a struggle for her to get up and down off the floor and he is worried that if baby was in danger she may struggle.

So what would you do? Do you think that weight could impact a job like this? I’m sure people of this weight have their own children and are safe to look after them?

YABU - morbid obesity could impact her ability to do this job

YANBU - she’ll be fine

Sadly and without wanting to patronise or goad, delusion and denial seem such a significant part of the obese person's psyche.

The don't overeat they walk miles. They are just obese. It's very sad it's like alcoholics, until they admit to the amount that they consume there is nothing anyone hcps, family etc can do.

Why people are overweight is their own business - why do you think that it is any business of yours for them to share things.

Would you prefer it if someone said I overeat because I was raped and it is a trauma response and helps me change my appearance so I will not get raped again? Would you prefer that?

The fact of the matter is no matter the reason people are obese they are treated as a lesser person. Told they are greedy and it's as easy as eating less(it's not). They are not given the same opportunities as people of a supposedly healthy weight.

Yes, we really noticed a correlation between her wanting to sit on our laps all the time abd a change to that class. We suddenly twigged after a few months

Our suspicion was confirmed when she became more active after starting her new nursery. The key worker had been lovely & doted on our girl but sadly just couldn't give her the care she needed.

A bmi of 50-60??? If that’s accurate there is no way she is suitable as a nanny, this is logistically just not going to work

You make my argument for me. Which young women who do not need need to lose weight eat 1100 calories indefinitely?

I know many large /overweight nannies

i was an overweight one myself at size 16/18 and bmi 33

but I was also fit but fat. Went to the gym 3 times a week etx

so don’t write her off yet

from what you are saying I’d think bmi is 50 would be

5f - 18s
5f 4 - 20s
5f 8 - 23s

using bmi charts

yes you May have exaggerated bmi

or they are very large

either way if you think they are good (and why is this - cv ? Ref?) then arrange for a walk /play in park and see how she copes aid you kick a ball /walk fast with buggy

if you are unsure of her fitness

fwiw I struggle getting up from the floor but I have arthritis

This is true.

There is much prejudice, judgeyness and misinformation against fat people .

But that doesn’t mean that from an objective pov people of any and every body type are best suited to each and every job.

Would someone a size 16/18 be considered ‘morbidly obese’? It seems within the range of ‘pretty usual’ to me. Without being scientific about it.

Since the OP is unlikely to have measured and weighed the nanny but guessed her to be morbidly obese, I would be thinking in terms of a size 22 +. That is what I would picture if someone told me a person was ‘morbidly obese’.

I was classed as super obese when gained a little more weight and 17s and bmi 37

EDs are classed as a psychiatric disorder so it makes sense that compulsive overeaters have some disordered ways of thinking.

Well asthma may involve steroid treatment so I can see the link there. Had no idea about anaemia though, which kind? I have the pernicious kind, which in my case is probably linked to PCOS, and insulin resistance because of needing metformin long term, so could be a roundabout link to obesity as PCOS and Binge ED are the root causes in my case. Not sure how iron deficient anaemia is linked.

Endometriosis can be linked to Ehlers-Danlos, so I've heard, interesting you mention hypermobile joints @ChishiyaBat as that can be a link there!

We did hire a very overweight nanny (most likely obese, I really don’t like to judge people’s weight) as I didn’t want to have prejudice . All references came glowing- very active, energetic etc. 2 weeks into the job she was in hospital with heart issues where she needed follow up surgeries and wasn’t able to return to work. We lost thousands in agency fees as we had to pay upfront for a year contract and they weren’t able to find someone to replace her.
the first few days I went with her and DC for some walks and she was out of breath very quickly; yet I still wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Lesson learnt.

ThatMerryReader · Today 12:17

Not in a million years. If she can't look after herself, then she won't be able to look after the children.

Where does it say the nanny can’t look after herself? She might be large, but that dosent mean she can’t do things. 🙄

No, never again! We hired a temp nanny once in London when we were visiting who was very very obese. She was lovely but when the baby cried upstairs it would take her far too long to get out of her seat and up the stairs to the baby. This is compared to the usually nimble Nannie's who dash upstairs the second baby cries! We needed to take fairly short trips (20-30 mins) around London in a big car, I think it was a Landrover discovery, with both of us in the front and her, my young son and baby in the back. Nightmare, she basically didn't fit. She was also always out of breath so I started having to take her fitness into consideration. Not brilliant when you're paying a lot for a live-in nanny, and my toddler son was a runner.

You had a nanny that could not fit in the back of a land rover?
The land rover is known to have loads of space in the back, far more than an ordinary car. If that was true, you must have hired a nanny who was fifty odd stone and would barely be able to walk.

Your psyche is fascinating. So eager to dismiss science and assert a singular and highly judgmental view of complex and highly individual factors. I wonder what drives this?

Anyone who’s ever watched Dawn French in action or seen Lisa Riley dance on Strictly would know being morbidly obese doesn’t preclude someone from being active enough to care for a child. The best reception class teacher I’ve ever worked with was classed as morbidly obese and she taught a class of thirty, lively 4-5 year olds without any issues.

Given the number of people in the UK who are morbidly obese is at an all time high, if this fact alone puts children at increased risk, we’d be seeing a significant increase in the number of children being hurt or fatally injured each year. If all the Mumsnetters saying a morbidly obese person couldn’t run fast enough to keep up with an active toddler are correct, surely there would be a large number of these incidents reported every year too.

How many actual cases have been reported and documented where a child has come to harm purely because the person caring for them had a BMI over 50? Compare this to the number of reports we’ve all seen where a child has been harmed by someone with a ‘normal’ BMI. If a parent being morbidly obese puts a child at risk, then social services would have to monitor all morbidly obese parents and they certainly would not have allowed Dawn French to adopt a baby.

Although a BMI of 50-60 is not ideal for anyone’s long-term health, there’s far more to being a great nanny than being able to roll around on the floor! I’d hazard a guess that quite a few parents with disabilities wouldn’t be able to do that either, but it doesn’t stop them being fantastic, loving parents. Similarly, I expect lots of grandparents can’t get down on the floor easily but it doesn’t stop them looking after and having amazing relationships with their grandchildren.

Personally, I’d choose a nanny based on their warm and caring personality, qualifications, experience and references, rather than their BMI.

@Nenen

Anyone who’s ever watched Dawn French in action or seen Lisa Riley dance on Strictly would know being morbidly obese doesn’t preclude someone from being active enough to care for a child.

I wouldn’t consider either of those women to be MORBIDLY obese.

My sister put on loads of weight when on sertraline. She had always been careful with her diet and weight too. It's horrendous that people have to choose between their weight and their mental health . My sister came close to unaliving herself. We both had a horrendously abusive childhood and my sister is also struggling with as yet undiagnosed but suspected ADHD (she waiting for asessment). My own issues with weight and PCOS were exacerbated by long term use of antipsychotic agents , mood stabilizers and antidepressants for my own psychiatric diagnoses. @RosesAndHellebores @ChishiyaBat

@Nenen i do agree with you to a certain extent that there are many examples of people such as Lisa Riley who can be physically fit while obese, however, the op has already noticed that this candidate struggles to stand up from the floor and is morbidly obese (I don’t think Dawn French or Lisa Riley are or have been morbidly obese). The concern voiced by myself and others of her not being able to chase a toddler is very valid if she struggles to stand up. She is at increased risk of obstructive sleep apnea and I would really be concerned about her falling asleep with baby.

No I don't think I would

So very overweight people shouldn't be able to work? Wow, surprising even for MN! I have a few colleagues who are very overweight in various roles within the hospital and they're all great at their jobs, able to run in a medical emergency etc. If this nanny wasn't able to perform her tasks surely she wouldn't have had previous work, therefore would have no good references?

No I wouldn't.

Active children can wear the fittest of people out and almost every morbidly obese parent I've known, has been more reluctant to run around with their kids for more than a few minutes. That not to say they wouldn't do it, but the reluctance is very obvious to the DC who just stop asking in the end.

On top of that, we all struggle with the heat in the Summer but it's often far far worse for those who are very overweight.

Nannys aren't cheap so most people would want the best for their money, whether they want to admit it or not.

I wouldn’t consider either of those women to be MORBIDLY obese

What?! Are you thinking of the same Dawn French and Lisa Riley as me?

They were both (prior to weightloss) definitely morbidly obese (BMI 40+). In fact I'd guess that both of their BMI's were a good way over 40. Or even 50.