Is anyone else's full wage just going on living expenses?!

[maria2bela1]

My partner and I both work, have 3 young children. We crunched some numbers yesterday and my partners whole wage (which is a decent one, over 50k) goes on outgoings! I just can't believe it, we pay high rent in London (2k) then our gas/elec bill is sky high at £230 a month. Sorry having a rant but this is insanity. How are we ever supposed to save for a house? I honestly feel like the only way around this is to leave London, but our family and friends are here so not nice for the kids.

It sounds naive and a bit clueless, but I genuinely didn't realise this before I had kids. People probably told me, but I guess I just wasn't listening..... I'll probably tell my kids and they wont listen either.
I don't live in London, have 2 kids, both work and own our home and I feel massive financial strain. I seem to just haemorrhage money when my kids are around!

@Ridelikethewindypops I know right! I feel as though this was mentioned in conversation but I felt like still doable. I use my wage to try and save a bit and then spend on kids days out/trips etc. also to buy in London before I had kids id be waiting until my 40s! Deposits are huge, just seems like a vicious circle. I think for buying now looking outside of London is only feasible option ::

Just be mindful when you all say very blasé that £50k isn't a lot. In the city in Yorkshire I live I would be extremely comfortable with two children with that.

There are people on less money who will actually have a better lifestyle - it's not so much about the wage but about the outgoings. Some people will have very high rent or childcare costs and others won't. Travel to work can suck loads of money. 50k sounds like it should be a lot but sometimes it really isn't. And OP won't get any state help on that income, bar child benefit. All expenses will be hers to cover.

The thing I always notice about these threads is people mention paying for days out. If you're struggling for money you don't have days out, it's simple.

I'm in my 50's, school holidays were spent mainly at home, meeting friends. Summer holidays were with grandparents and a week or two camping, this included some visits or 'days out'.

I do think that the mentality these days is all wrong. If you don't have the money you go without or cut your cloth. I also agree with others re 3 children, when they get to be teenagers is astronomical.

You chose to have 3 children in London without having bought a property? Of course it's hard. I'm not sure why this is surprising to you?

🙄 And this is why birth rates are plummeting

@FiveWhatByFiveWhat Check out the Olio app for free veg for the guinea pigs. My friend is a volunteer for them and does collections from local supermarkets to list on the app, she always has loads to get rid of

I and all my friends who stayed in London have only bought because we had help either cash gift or lived at home for free/cheap rent or a mix of both. When I was younger London had a lot more social housing for families. @maria2bela1 Honestly I would move, renting is dreadful here and for financial security it's much better if you can buy something.

Also wage stagnation and inflation plus frozen income tax bands.

50k today is the equivalent to 40k in 2020 and about 33k in 2010....

I know right, me and DH bring home less than that between us and we manage. Blows my mind on here (where apparently most people are "high earners") reading post after post of oh we have an income of 80/100k and we're really feeling the cost of living... I know it's all relative but it still boggles me a bit.

Being very blunt, I wouldn't consider £50k in London 'decent' even as a single person. Liveable, yes. Where I live (significantly cheaper than London) then yes it's decent - for a single person. For a family with 3 kids I would still consider it quite stretched, particularly if childcare fees are involved.

Times and prices have changed so much in the last 10 years. Minimum wage will soon be £25k a year full time, compared to 2015 when it was under £14k. I used to earn 3x minimum wage but now it's less than 2x (public sector so we don't have any negotiating power). The income needed to support a family is rising all the time, far quicker than salaries are increasing unfortunately.

Ignore the people being rude. There are millions of us in this situation and we are not somehow reckless people. I imagine like us you are in jobs which need to be in the city for and earn well but extremely high costs eat it all up. You are in good company. That’s basically why labour got into power because the millennials were fed up of being gaslit by people who bought property when it was cheap.

Are you spending £2,000 a month on rent?

As other posters have suggested, there is a London is best mindset.

move north and you will suddenly find yourself far better off. I have friends who live in London who though lovely do think they are ‘better’ than others who do not, yet I will be mortgage free by my late 40’s early 50’s have annual foreign holidays and am a single parent on £35k. My London friends have mortgages up to age 68 with huge monthly payments.

London is only a few hours away by train which when you have moved north and suddenly can save money, you will be able to spend on visiting friends and family

💯 spot on.

So your entire wage is just for day trips and savings, so in that case you should have very healthy savings to enable you to buy a bit further out?

I would love to live in London (grew up there, family still live there) but no way could I afford to buy there, and I have 3 kids and we earn over 100k between us.

You just can't afford it, sadly. That's life.

OP, as people have already mentioned it is usually easier to first buy a home then have kids.

In your situation, I would look at moving out of London, because as it is you will never be able to save for a deposit and buy a property in that city.

You and dh are going to have to come up with a strategy if you want to buy a house. It doesn't just happen.
What are your options?
Aggressively save/budget
Look at (ie actively sign up and pursue )shared ownership in your area
Relocate to somewhere with lower housing costs but still decent salary.

Prices are very very different in London.

It's not a fair company

No because we'd never be able to afford that. We've made decisions over the years to be more comfortable - smaller house, moved near to family, one child, one car etc.

Everyone is different but obviously if you live in the most expensive area of the UK, have 3 kids close together and (for example) run two cars, need to use longer hours in childcare/wraparound then yes, all of your wage will be eaten up with outgoings.

We left London when we had children. It was too expensive.

I read an article recently about there being no children left in London. Well that was the dramatic headline.

it was highlighting how, more than at previous points in time, people can't afford to raise children in London and are moving out or not having them at all. People have obviously always moved out of London to have family but it's more than ever.

It is true you can move out and have a great life somewhere else which works at an individual level.

But it is also odd to have a society where families can't live in the capital.

What is your joint income? Not sure why you're comparing to DH alone when you're both working and expenses are joint. £2k a month rent is astronomical.

Wait till you have to pay their rent while they are at uni or just starting out with working life. Absolutely brutal.