To not want to be a middleman in my sister's financial transaction?

[Oodiks]

My sister lives in a different country, she's had visitors recently and has some arrangement that means they now owe her money. She's going to be visiting me in the next few months and asks that her friends cash app me the money and I give her the cash when she visits.

A bit of background to avoid drip feeding. When my sister visited me a few years ago she didn't want to exchange money because of fees so she asked me to cover expenses and used an app to track what she owed me while she was visiting. So, I paid for everything, and she noted what her portion would be. We went out for a few meals, and outings, and I cooked several meals at home, she happily drank my cheap wine and didn't buy any herself. At the end of trip she totted up, to the penny, what she 'owed me' and repaid exactly that amount, nothing extra for the meals I'd cooked, the tips I'd paid, the Lyfts we'd taken, or the wine I'd offered.

She has a well-paid job and takes frequent trips with friends. At the time she visited I was in the middle of a divorce and had just lost my job. I'm now divorced and in a reasonably well-paid job, I'm looking forward to seeing her, but feel a bit side swiped by this request.

Am I Being Unreasonable to refuse to be the middleman in her financial arrangements with her visitors?

No of course you wouldn't be unreasonable - tell her to sort it out herself!

Why aren't they just online banking her their funds now?

I'm in country A, she's in country B, the friends are from country C. Her idea is that she can avoid exchanging money (which would cost her money) by having her friends send it to me and I give her the cash (avoiding her paying the exchange fees).

Urgh. So she's just a pain in the arse then. I'd just say "no that doesn't work for me"

Would you be paying the fees then?

I don't really understand how cash apps work because I don't usually use them. I'm guessing that there aren't any fees to transfer money in the app (or that the payer pays not the payee), but if she got cash out here, she'd be paying fees to do that whereas I wouldn't because I live here.

Please say no.
She has already shown you what she is like re money.

Tell her she still owes you money from her previous visit as her contribution didn't cover her costs. So you're happy to keep the money from her friends.

I've never heard of anyone not spending money abroad because of exchange rate fees, that's just bonkers. That's just part of the cost of going abroad. She's beyond tight, yet she's happy to spend your money, isn't she? I would be be very clear before she visits this time that I won't be paying for her like last time which left you out of pocket.

She is just mean. I guarantee you there will be a fee involved in this transaction and you will end up paying it. Tell her a hard no.

It seems like it's something she and her friends do, so she's currently lending her friend money while they are visiting her for the same reason.

Wait, couldn't this be a good thing for you? You'll have your sister's money up front of her visit, so when she arrives she can pay for things herself, and won't have to add it up and pay you back.

If there's a fee involved, just give her the amount you receive after the fee, i.e., give her the exact amount you recieve in UK £. You don't need to care about exchange rates etc.

Surely if she uses revolut or similar, the fees are v low? I couldn't be doing with all the tracking and taking out cash.

Do you even know these people?

All this paying money from one account to another and then you drawing it out in cash could easily be perceived as money laundering. It may not be, but I would be bloody suspicious.

So, say yes, and then give her the cash so she can use that to pay for stuff while she's here?

She'll want it in dollars because I'm in the US and that's where she wants to spend it, and I could be just as petty as she was and give her the exact, to the penny, amount. In a childish way that would be quite satisfying, but that's really not the way I want to relate to her.

What's revolut?

I wouldn’t get into any of that, it needs to be bank transferred to her and she sucks up the fees

It would be a hard no from me. I don't see why she can't accept an online banking payment from her friends.

Of course there will be a fee for exchanging the currency. But it won't be ruinous. I'd stay out of it. She sounds like a Scrooge.

Please don't pay for trips and excursions out unless she agress to pay half.

She sounds very cheeky. It would be a firm no from me.

It's not that, they are old friends of hers.

She's bloody tight! Not an attractive trait. Make her pay and then pay her back - to the penny. If she's staying with you go grocery shopping and just wait for her to pay at the till. Your sister is a CF.

I didn't entirely mind paying for Lyfts because a person could reasonably expect a person living where I do to have a car. It was more that she only paid for her exact share, so I covered the tips and paid for more meals out for my daughter than I would otherwise, as well as cooking at home and providing wine (not good wine, but).

Can she just use paypal or revolt?

Just say no...too much hassle.

What's a CF?
She's not even clear that she's going to be staying with me. She's coming to my area for work reasons and will be put up in a hotel for part of her stay. She's mentioned inviting another friend to visit while she's here. I've told her I can't put her friend up and she's fine with that.