To not want to be a middleman in my sister's financial transaction?

[Oodiks]

My sister lives in a different country, she's had visitors recently and has some arrangement that means they now owe her money. She's going to be visiting me in the next few months and asks that her friends cash app me the money and I give her the cash when she visits.

A bit of background to avoid drip feeding. When my sister visited me a few years ago she didn't want to exchange money because of fees so she asked me to cover expenses and used an app to track what she owed me while she was visiting. So, I paid for everything, and she noted what her portion would be. We went out for a few meals, and outings, and I cooked several meals at home, she happily drank my cheap wine and didn't buy any herself. At the end of trip she totted up, to the penny, what she 'owed me' and repaid exactly that amount, nothing extra for the meals I'd cooked, the tips I'd paid, the Lyfts we'd taken, or the wine I'd offered.

She has a well-paid job and takes frequent trips with friends. At the time she visited I was in the middle of a divorce and had just lost my job. I'm now divorced and in a reasonably well-paid job, I'm looking forward to seeing her, but feel a bit side swiped by this request.

Am I Being Unreasonable to refuse to be the middleman in her financial arrangements with her visitors?

Here’s what you say.

”No”.

These people have sufficient money to do trips. They have sufficient cash reserves to cover the expenses of their friends for days at a time. Yet somehow they’re unable/unwilling to pay small exchange fees and instead spend time on this level of ridiculous.

They’re not some corporation exposed to Fx rates.

Sort your own shit out. No.

I'm curious to know how the 3 or 4 people who have so far voted that I am being unreasonable have come to that conclusion.

Her and friends sign up for revolut and transfer whatever the amount is - I use it when abroad to pay for things as no charges

Does it not work the same way for your sister then too?

The pro here is she will have cash so can pay as she goes along in cash.

You need to tell her, in advance, that you won't be paying for things and then recouping money from her.

Don't get wine and make beans on toast

Why can't they use PayPal? There's no fees to pay friends and family.

YANBU. I would say ‘I can’t be the middle man in this but looking forward to your visit 😊’. Don’t explain, don’t engage.

Might I suggest this is actually an issue because it would be for me… a people pleaser who will hear 1 negative opinion rather than 100 positive ones.
I am no longer doing it and it’s changed my life.
The feedback here is that you sister is taking you for a ride. Her financial life and all this currency stuff is not your problem.
Let her get on with it and split the bills properly.
She is walking all over you because she can.
Say no.
She might grumble but you deserve to be treated well for who you are, not because you are doing things you don’t wish to do.

She is cheeky and miserly.

Revolut is the answer. I wouldn't have believed it but it's so easy to receive and pay monies and switch currencies without fees. It's not as secure or regulated as UK banking so I'd never keep a large sum there for any length of time but it's been fine for just bouncing it in and out when i need to.

I haven’t read all replies but can’t bear this level of penny pinching when it’s an inconvenience to someone else. Say no - sort it herself and deal with the fees. If she’s that well paid she can afford it.

What a cheeky tacky sister you have.
I really couldn't be bothered with entertaining people whom are determined to screw me.
No thanks.

Thanks for all your responses. I really do need to put my foot down here.
I was planning to have a discussion about finances when she got here, but she's rather jumped the gun with this request.

I'm just going to quote Bartleby and say, "I'd rather not."

She's going to be visiting me in the next few months and asks that her friends cash app me the money and I give her the cash when she visits.

No thanks sis, it's a load of hassle and it's for you to sort out directly with your friends - I'm not getting involved.

Any banging on about fees etc - no, I've already said I don't want to get involved. You decided to lend the money in the first place, so it's your problem to sort it out.

It sounds a bit complicated and awkward to me.

Also, you don’t want to be seen as money laundering.

Plus - you'd have to go out of your way to take the cash out. Think of your petrol, parking fees and any other fees for going to withdraw the cash (let alone your time). Balance that with her 'exchange fees' and I doubt there'll be much difference.

I don’t know what it’s like in the US, but in the U.K. this would probably trip money laundering flags. So I wouldn’t be involved purely on that basis.

Say no, sort your own finances.
Keep things simple. 😊

Just tell her no.

If she asks why, tell her what you said in your post and ask for her to pay you in cash ( GBP) as soon as she arrives.

Once biten, twice shy......she will realise she can't manipulate you financially like she did last time, she is a CF.

Again, what is a CF?

You understandably felt a bit put out and cheated with her accounting method when she stayed with you.

If you help her with this, then her guests might feel similarly cheated or put out - and you then potentially become part of that too….

CF is a cheeky f**ker

Cheeky fucker - CF

They are two separate things.

Her not paying her way/being really cheap is one thing.

The cash app is another thing.

I'd do it for my sister.

Yanbu but it may be in your favour if she has cash so she’s not relying on you

I see what you're saying, but she doesn't have to rely on me, she's a grown up and can figure it out.