To not want to be a middleman in my sister's financial transaction?

[Oodiks]

My sister lives in a different country, she's had visitors recently and has some arrangement that means they now owe her money. She's going to be visiting me in the next few months and asks that her friends cash app me the money and I give her the cash when she visits.

A bit of background to avoid drip feeding. When my sister visited me a few years ago she didn't want to exchange money because of fees so she asked me to cover expenses and used an app to track what she owed me while she was visiting. So, I paid for everything, and she noted what her portion would be. We went out for a few meals, and outings, and I cooked several meals at home, she happily drank my cheap wine and didn't buy any herself. At the end of trip she totted up, to the penny, what she 'owed me' and repaid exactly that amount, nothing extra for the meals I'd cooked, the tips I'd paid, the Lyfts we'd taken, or the wine I'd offered.

She has a well-paid job and takes frequent trips with friends. At the time she visited I was in the middle of a divorce and had just lost my job. I'm now divorced and in a reasonably well-paid job, I'm looking forward to seeing her, but feel a bit side swiped by this request.

Am I Being Unreasonable to refuse to be the middleman in her financial arrangements with her visitors?

OP, what amount of money is she wanting her friends to transfer to you? Hundreds or thousands of $?

The very tight bit of her behaviour than rankles with me is you covering the tips and her paying her exact share. I dislike the US tipping culture but I fully accept that when I visit the States and go out with friends, the share I will pay is based on the total of what is considered the norm there. And if you are all dining out when you would not otherwise do so as much, then she should make the gesture to split the bill in two, if not spring for the lot, occasionally. Though maybe sibling history makes that kind of politeness not as likely !

So, I paid for everything, and she noted what her portion would be. We went out for a few meals, and outings, and I cooked several meals at home, she happily drank my cheap wine and didn't buy any herself. At the end of trip she totted up, to the penny, what she 'owed me' and repaid exactly that amount, nothing extra for the meals I'd cooked, the tips I'd paid, the Lyfts we'd taken, or the wine I'd offered.

What’s your plan for not being taken advantage of this time?

You could give her a proportion of the money - tell her you’ve retained a portion to cover things she didn’t pay you for last time (and a little bit to cover what she’ll probably swindle you out of this time too).

Seriously I’d just say no, you don’t want the hassle, thanks.

Really impressed with this response 👏 👌

Can't she just get a Monzo card and get over herself?

I guess we'll find out...

Just tell her to use eg www.Wise.com It's cheaper than normal bank costs

CF = Cheeky !ucker

Sounds as dodgy as fuck to me.
Say no, because it will be seen as income and will affect your benefits. Or something like that.

You don't know them, and even if you did, the whole thing sounds madly complicated. And keeps your sister at arms length from a transaction which results in her having cash.

I appreciate your concern, but I really don't think she's doing anything dodgy except on a personal level.

Hmm I wouldn't want to be holding on to someone else's money for so long. Her reasons also don't really make sense - it would if it was an American friend paying you in usd from their American bank... no exchange fees. But its 3 different countries so there's always going to be an exchange fee.
Just say you didn't enjoy having to keep a running tally on spending when she visited last time so suggest she finds a currency transaction fee free credit card and sorts out her own costs

Actually, I don't know where the friend is based, could be here or in the UK.
There's no point saying I don't enjoy keeping a running tally, because she'll point out that she has a handy dandy little app for that! I'm just going to have to explain I'm not comfortable splitting costs the way we did last time.

So, I've responded to say I don't have the cash app she wants to use, and I'd rather not get financially involved with someone I've never met.

That's perfectly reasonable, no?

Of course it's reasonable.

Yes, that’s fine. If she carries on trying to persuade you, just stand firm, and send her the suggestions that people have posted above.

As you said, she’s a grown up.