Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Been called to a meeting with HR - any advice?

119 replies

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 16:16

(Name change in case any of my colleagues recognise me)

I’ve been called into the office on Wednesday next week for a meeting with my boss and HR. The meeting title is vague, and when I asked what it was about, I was told it was just an update meeting with nothing to prepare. I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be amiss.

There’s no question about my performance, but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate. I tend to keep my distance and only approach him when necessary, and I avoid any work social events.

I’m concerned that I may be let go simply because I don’t seem to fit in. I’ve been with the company for 11 months in a senior role, and while I’m not devastated since I hate the job, I’m worried about being out of work and finding another position. I’ve never been fired before, and I feel a bit anxious about it.

Any advice on how to handle the meeting?

OP posts:
mmsnet · 30/01/2025 16:21

email to find out what the meeting is about first then decide how to approach it

SpringleDingle · 30/01/2025 16:23

Unless you are on probation I'd doubt they would fire you without having gone through a disciplinary process first. You should receive warnings, be put on a PIP etc.. Unless it's gross misconduct they shouldn't move straight to firing. I say shouldn't as many small businesses get away with this but in large corporations like mine it would be impossible.

Redundancy however is something I'd call a meeting like this for. In the UK it should be a 3 month process to make you redundant.

Good luck, I hope it is nothing.

Spirallingdownwards · 30/01/2025 16:25

In what way is he being inappropriate? I would message back and say at next Wednesday's meeting may we also take the chance to discuss X's inappropriate behaviour. That way it perhaps preempts any notion of letting you go!!

DemonicCaveMaggot · 30/01/2025 16:26

Can you approach the HR rep. who will be in the meeting to find out what it is about?

If they won't tell you I would worry about redundancy or being moved to a different role. The latter would get you away from your boss though, and give you time to find something better.

TheyCallMeMrsBug · 30/01/2025 16:30

Has anyone else in your dept been called in for similar meetings?

Very unsettling for you to have this hanging over your head all weekend. I hope it’s nothing to worry about OP.

Catza · 30/01/2025 16:31

Hard to give advice without knowing what the meeting is for. Firing is unlikely as they need to follow a procedure, disciplinary is unlikely as you should have been made aware of any performance issues prior to the meeting as well as been given opportunity to invite union rep. So either it is really nothing to worry about or it is something to worry about but they haven't followed the correct procedure. In which case, ACAS would be your next step after the meeting.

Shallana · 30/01/2025 16:34

SpringleDingle · 30/01/2025 16:23

Unless you are on probation I'd doubt they would fire you without having gone through a disciplinary process first. You should receive warnings, be put on a PIP etc.. Unless it's gross misconduct they shouldn't move straight to firing. I say shouldn't as many small businesses get away with this but in large corporations like mine it would be impossible.

Redundancy however is something I'd call a meeting like this for. In the UK it should be a 3 month process to make you redundant.

Good luck, I hope it is nothing.

Ignore this advice, if you have been there less than two years', they absolutely can dismiss you just for not fitting in without any warnings. There is also no requirement to undergo a three month process to make an employee redunant.

Usually you would be formally invited to the meeting and told that dismissal was a potential outcome if they were considering dismissal, but not in every case.

Like others have said, I would recommend asking for more details and prepare for the worst.

Acc0untant · 30/01/2025 16:35

Almost a week is a long time to notify someone in advance if they're being sacked.

I had a similar situation about 5 years back. Worried me for days, especially as I loved the job and thought I was doing well. Turns out my manager had a cancer diagnosis and would be stepping down with some (not all) of their duties and wanted to hand over to me until they were well enough to return. It was done as a meeting with HR because they didn't want to advertise internally as a secondment or temporary promotion as to not invite questions about where my manager was going, not until they'd come to terms with it properly.

catgirl1976 · 30/01/2025 16:42

SpringleDingle · 30/01/2025 16:23

Unless you are on probation I'd doubt they would fire you without having gone through a disciplinary process first. You should receive warnings, be put on a PIP etc.. Unless it's gross misconduct they shouldn't move straight to firing. I say shouldn't as many small businesses get away with this but in large corporations like mine it would be impossible.

Redundancy however is something I'd call a meeting like this for. In the UK it should be a 3 month process to make you redundant.

Good luck, I hope it is nothing.

There is no prescribed "3 month process" for redundancies. if the total number of redundancies. It's 30 days for 20-99 redundancies and 45 days for 100 +.

domesticslattern · 30/01/2025 16:47

Are you still on probation?
Bear in mind you don't have to say anything particular or agree to anything at such a meeting. You can just say "That's interesting, I would like to reflect on that and come back to you" (or permutations of that on repeat).

NavyRaven · 30/01/2025 16:48

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about but if you are not already in a union I would encourage you to join immediately.

heyhopotato · 30/01/2025 16:55

Ask if it's a meeting where it would be in your interests to bring a representative. That will tell you one way or the other.

DancingNotDrowning · 30/01/2025 16:55

Im afraid its almost certainly a termination scenario, if it was anything else you’d be provided with notice of the details.

It’s very common for senior roles to be terminated without notice/pip etc.

You’ll simply be told that things aren’t working out and then you’ll negotiate the cheque. Prepare for that and remember you don’t need to say anything at the time.

Sneezeless · 30/01/2025 16:56

If it does turn into an unofficial disciplinary tell them you are ending the meeting and ask for them to reschedule with union rep. I have done this before.

Exhaustedtiredneedabreak · 30/01/2025 16:57

Don't forget, if this is a without prejudice meeting then when they make an offer you are entitled to get legal advice, they should pay the first £500 towards this. I'd start calling recruiters.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/01/2025 17:12

Unless youve got a protected characteristic they can dismiss you without you having any recourse to an employment tribunal.
I would be looking for another job and/or getting in first about the inappropriate behaviour.

anniegun · 30/01/2025 17:13

This sounds like you are being let go. I would prepare to have that conversation.

AdoraBell · 30/01/2025 17:15

I second emailing to confirm the reason for the meeting.

BountifulPantry · 30/01/2025 17:17

Insist on seeing a meeting agenda before proceeding.

If you have a union let them know.

At the meeting I would sit there quietly and let them say what they have got to say. Write down everything they say. Don’t react. Let them talk themselves out.

If it’s anything bad I would say « that’s a lot to take on board and I need to consider my response. Could we end this meeting now and continue this discussion tomorrow so I can gather my thoughts. »

That will buy you some thinking time / time to take legal advice / time to speak to your union rep.

Consider creating an email trail following the meeting if that would benefit you. « Following on from our meeting this afternoon I note that you raised concerns about (xyz). Do let me know if I have misread any aspect of your points raised. » Then after any subsequent meetings do the same. Often meetings with no agenda are set up to prevent paper trails being created.

Remember that you have a right to see certain documents containing your personal data. Look on the ICO website for how to make a data subject access request. It’s free. (This may be useful or maybe not, depends what they say.)

You can speak to ACAS about employment issues.

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 17:19

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 16:16

(Name change in case any of my colleagues recognise me)

I’ve been called into the office on Wednesday next week for a meeting with my boss and HR. The meeting title is vague, and when I asked what it was about, I was told it was just an update meeting with nothing to prepare. I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be amiss.

There’s no question about my performance, but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate. I tend to keep my distance and only approach him when necessary, and I avoid any work social events.

I’m concerned that I may be let go simply because I don’t seem to fit in. I’ve been with the company for 11 months in a senior role, and while I’m not devastated since I hate the job, I’m worried about being out of work and finding another position. I’ve never been fired before, and I feel a bit anxious about it.

Any advice on how to handle the meeting?

Aside from the meeting next week, if you hate your job and your boss is a difficult micromanager I would think about leaving

Why are you still there?

Regarding the meeting, if they told you it’s nothing to worry about then I wouldn’t worry about it, I don’t think they will fire you after saying that, I doubt that it will be a completely positive meeting or else why would they be calling it so be prepared for some criticism and possibly start looking around to see what other jobs are out there.

BountifulPantry · 30/01/2025 17:21

Having said that, it sounds as if you don’t like the job. Have you considered your next moves?

DazzlingCuckoos · 30/01/2025 17:21

Acc0untant · 30/01/2025 16:35

Almost a week is a long time to notify someone in advance if they're being sacked.

I had a similar situation about 5 years back. Worried me for days, especially as I loved the job and thought I was doing well. Turns out my manager had a cancer diagnosis and would be stepping down with some (not all) of their duties and wanted to hand over to me until they were well enough to return. It was done as a meeting with HR because they didn't want to advertise internally as a secondment or temporary promotion as to not invite questions about where my manager was going, not until they'd come to terms with it properly.

This is a perfect example of how it really could be anything.

You might find that if you find your manager difficult to work with, so do other people, and he's been side stepped or is leaving and they want you to take over.

As much as I appreciate it's easier said than done, there's really no value in speculating or worrying too much as they're not going to give anything away in advance of the meeting.

What you can do in between though:

  • make sure your CV is up to date and ready to go to agents, just in case
  • review your contract and staff handbook. As PP have said, they can get rid of you within 2 years, but they have to follow their own policies and procedures to do so. If there's a process in there about the termination of your employment, make sure you know what it is to question whether they're following it.

While you can't take action for unfair or constructive dismissal when you've been employed somewhere for less than two years, you can take a claim for wrongful dismissal if they don't follow their own procedures correctly.

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 17:23

DancingNotDrowning · 30/01/2025 16:55

Im afraid its almost certainly a termination scenario, if it was anything else you’d be provided with notice of the details.

It’s very common for senior roles to be terminated without notice/pip etc.

You’ll simply be told that things aren’t working out and then you’ll negotiate the cheque. Prepare for that and remember you don’t need to say anything at the time.

Im afraid its almost certainly a termination scenario

I highly doubt it, they informed her it was just an update meeting and it was nothing to worry about….why would you automatically assume it’s regarding a termination?

StasisMom · 30/01/2025 17:23

I'm not an HR expert, but the fact the meeting is just under a week away makes me think it's nothing too urgent. Might it even be someone else has complained about the boss and they want your take?

ElizaMulvil · 30/01/2025 17:24

Take advice from your Union. They will have the experience to advise you.