To be worried about a fall out over this inheritance?

[Celia24]

My mother has just lost her mother this week, so that’s both parents gone now.

For info she and I grew up next to her parents and my childhood was spent at their home basically. When my grandfather died he split the house between his children. However because my uncle is very rich, he said that when the time came, he would sign the entire house over to my mother. This has never been written down, said only verbally.

however since then, my mum has been a career for her mother for over ten years. It has been tough and she’s taken the brunt.

today she said he better make good on his promise or else they will fall out. I actually feel quite angry about this because if they fall out, it will be the end of my relationship with my cousins families as well as my uncle and aunt. How can I persuade her otherwise??

That's a bit unreasonable of her to make an ultimatum like that so soon after it happened. What has his reaction been? He may well still intend to honour his promise. I think you need to make her realise that by treating him like he's a piece of shit, he's more likely to renege on his promise.

Wait and see what happens first.

She hasn’t told him this directly - they’ve spent time together sorting things out and all fine.

but now she’s bringing this up. I’ve had to suffer the effects of estrangement on the other side and I know she would regret this and the wider family implications.

She’s basically saying she’s expecting him to renege and she’s armed and ready to fall out

It's something that was said verbally, and I'm afraid that unless your Uncle made a written contract to that effect, then words don't mean a jot. He may decide to sign his half of the house over to your Mum, but he may not. The fact she's been caring for her Mother, is irrelevant, to him signing his half over to your Mum. If he decides to keep his share (which is entirely his choice), then there's little your Mum can do about it. Unfortunately, money does bring out the worst in people, regardless of their own personal wealth. She can discuss what he said with her brother, but ultimately she can't force him to do anything. If she has a good relationship with him, then she needs to ask herself, is the money worth losing her brother over and creating a terrible rift in the family?

Honestly, this is her business. But you don't have to get involved or take sides. If your uncle then takes it out on you, he and his family are not the people you think they are.

Bit early to be like this, who are the executors.why was the house left to children rather than his wife, where did granny live. What does when the time comes mean? When granny dies or uncle dies.. did granny make a will.

I am sorry for the loss to both you and your mother.
Whilst the gesture from your uncle was well-meant, without anything in writing it will be his word against your mother’s. He does not need to give up his half of the inheritance, and no one has asked him to.
Your mother taking on most of the care for her parents is not a valid argument for her brother not receiving any inheritance. I appreciate that your mother may feel very differently about this sentiment. My comment is observational, and it is easier to comment on these matters when they are not directly affecting you.
If there is a fallout between the siblings, you do not need to cease your relationship with the family; it is between your mother and uncle.
You cannot persuade your mother not to fall out if she feels strongly about this, however, the loss of her mother is very fresh and emotions are running high so I would wait a few weeks and see how the conversation goes with regard to sorting out the possession in the house and funeral arranging, etc as peoples true intentions will come out over time.
Another angle to consider is your uncle passing his half of the inheritance over to your mother; in turn, you are lined up to benefit in the future from that inheritance whilst your uncle's children will not, so this is also something to consider.

Why hypothesise?

Just ask to see the will and save yourself the aggro of getting worked up

I expect its probably easier for your mum to feel anger at something she supposes might happen than the grief and despair of having lost her mother. Give her time, if she falls out with her brother that doesn't mean you have to as well. X

It's far too soon to be bringing this up. And, in fact, unless it comes from your uncle, I wouldn't bring it up at all.

Whether he's well off or not, whether your mum looked after her parents more or not, that doesn't change the fact of what they wanted to happen with THEIR money.

Assuming there's a will, there's no argument to be had.

Who is paying the Captal gains tax ( and potentially Inheritance tax) on your GM’s home, given that your Mum and Uncle presumably own it either jointly or as Tenants in common and neither have lived there since they inherited it?

If your GD had left the house to your GM then she would have £1million IHT allowance instead of £325k single Nil rate band.

You’re probably right. But she has raised it throughout the years.

I know it wouldn’t necessarily mean I need to stop seeing the family. But I know how this sort of thing can spread to other relatives. It would also mean I was essentially her only close relative left, a huge burden for me.

I agree with this. Her argument is that my grandfather’s will did not take into account the ten years caring which then followed.

I understand her feelings but I can’t agree this fallout would be right, said verbally or not.

If they fall out that's her choice, you don't need to take sides. Why didn't they just sell the house when grandad died and split the proceeds.

Don't fall out with the rest of your family over this. My mum and her siblings all feel out over inheritance. We the cousins told them they were all being ridiculous and refused to take sides.

Her comment has upset me. I am also grieving.

I have just lost a family member, have lost most of the other side to an estrangement and now she’s suggesting a further estrangement. It’s stressful and I’m trying to support her too.

Did the house pass to your mother and your uncle when your grandfather died or did it pass to your grandmother? If it passed to your grandmother only the grandmother's will is now relevant. What does that say?

If it passed to your mum and uncle years ago but they allowed your grandmother to cary on living there then any transfer from your uncle to your mum would be a gift in the normal way. If your uncle dies within 7 years there may well be inheritance tax implications if he gifts hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of property to your mum

It's not uncles fault that grandad didn't account for caring costs, he may just say fair enough, you looked after gran for 10 years unpaid and be happy to gift her his share or a lump sum. Does half the house value equal what she thinks she should have been paid for caring. I'd let them sort it out and wait until you see grans will.

I’m confused on who owns the house now? As your granddad didn’t make a will, it automatically went to your grandmother. If your grandmother didn’t make a will the house automatically goes to your mum and your uncle.

It's was Granny's house
Left to her son and daughter
Son said he'd transfer house to sister ages ago
Sister (ops mum) is now worried he won't do what he said
Op is worried too

All conjecture - may not happen

This is it exactly.

it’s a very hard time for us all and will be for a while. I hope they can work this out together, as they have been close siblings despite resentment on my mums part for having to do all the caring.

I think grandad left the house to his 2 children in his will, no idea where granny lived or what she inherited or what her will states.

That’s why I mentioned CGT - if GM was living in a house she no longer owned for a few years, then Mum and Uncle are liable to CGT when they sell it, you only get 9 months ‘grace’ now whereas it used to be 3 years.
OP hasn’t answered my question on how it’s owned either, was ownership ever transferred from Grandad via the Land registry? It could still be under his name.
If Uncle does gift his half before it’s sold then Stamp duty will be payable, which is something else to consider.
Why on earth wasn’t the house ownership changed via a deed of variation when Grandad died, if the Uncle was so sure about gifting his half?