To be worried about a fall out over this inheritance?

[Celia24]

My mother has just lost her mother this week, so that’s both parents gone now.

For info she and I grew up next to her parents and my childhood was spent at their home basically. When my grandfather died he split the house between his children. However because my uncle is very rich, he said that when the time came, he would sign the entire house over to my mother. This has never been written down, said only verbally.

however since then, my mum has been a career for her mother for over ten years. It has been tough and she’s taken the brunt.

today she said he better make good on his promise or else they will fall out. I actually feel quite angry about this because if they fall out, it will be the end of my relationship with my cousins families as well as my uncle and aunt. How can I persuade her otherwise??

When did your mum inherit her half of the house Op? When grandfather died? Or just now when grandmother died?

@user17353 the answer is just now.

I can’t answer some queries about land registry etc. I have no idea what the details are.

my gran lived in the house until her death with round the clock care. The house has belonged to her until now:

Unfortunately, legally the inheritance can only be distributed according to the will, and verbal agreements aren’t actually worth anything.

So until now the house belonged to your grandmother alone since your grandfather was already dead. It's interesting that your grandmother didn't just specify in her will that your mum was to inherit the house. It would indicate that this isn't what she wanted (most parents will want their children to split equally)

It will take some time to sort through probate etc. Your brother can give up his right to the house if thats what he wants to do (although it's completely and utterly up to him and he doesn't have to if he's changed his mind)

There is possibly some legal basis for your mum’s claim of the house irrespective of what the will says

Google proprietary estoppel OP

www.higgsllp.co.uk/guides/what-is-a-proprietary-estoppel-claim

I'm a bit confused, I thought you said grandad left the house to his children in his will, it sounds like that didn't happen and it passed down to grandmother who has now sadly died. If it was passed onto her then it will be passed onto whoever is named in her will or by intestacy laws. I think I'd let the executors sort out who owned what, who inherits what, probate and let them arrange everything.

No there isn't. The uncle didn't own anything until the grandmother died a few weeks ago. He is permitted to change his mind about an inheritance which until now didn't even exist since it could have been swallowed up in care costs.

It isn't about you tbh. You can hope all you like, but your mother is going through all sorts of mixed emotions at the moment, and the onus is on supporting her. If the uncle did say that, and your mother took everything on then I would hope he wouldn't renege, and if I were you I would be supporting her...not encouraging her to keep the peace just because you want a relationship with the person she, rightly or wrongly, feels may screw her over.

When you say round the clock care. Was your Mum living at the house? Did your Gran have carers come in etc?

In your 1st post, you stated that your GF left the house to your Mum/Uncle.
Now it’s suddenly your Grandma’s 🙄

IF your Uncle is amenable, GM’s will can be changed by variation, so your Mum inherits the whole house. Just takes the agreement of your Uncle and Mum. Then your Mum can sell the house straight from GM’s estate.

Just because they fall out, doesn’t mean you need to

I know people are saying this, but it would be devastating if this happened.

we all spend celebrations and Christmas together, for example. We have quite a new baby in the family too who has become a focal point and that would be the end of those get togethers. I just hope this doesn’t happen.

All you can do is extend the invite, if they want to be immature then that’s on them. I think regardless of your mum’s recent contact, there seems to be some resentment already bubbling under the surface so maybe they do just need a chat to clear the air and say what’s on their minds.

Did your mum do her brothers share of caring on the basis that he was going to give her his share of the house? Or were the two things unrelated? If the conversation went 'sister, thanks for volunteering for caring for mum, I recognise this is a massive financial sacrifice on your part as you won't be able to work for years, and I recognise that this has saved me thousands of pounds a week paying for a care home, so I'll give you my share of the house' then that would be completely shit if he didn't, and she may even have legal recourse if she has some sort of proof that this conversation happened (even if there is no contract).

If it was something he mentioned once years ago and then she subsequently decided to care for her mum and would have done so irrespective of the conversation about the house, then its a bit more tricky, particularly if circumstances have changed in the years in between (eg he got married or lost his job)

Unless it is in the Will, the uncle won’t honour it I bet.

Hiw rich is he, because v few people would give up half a house proceeds that they can give to their own dc.

I had a friend that said she was told her dh would get the whole house because her MIL said so. They were not carers for her but I think they did more than they would have done for mil due to this ‘promise’. Again, bil was ‘rich’ and therefore did not need it according to them. Their definition of rich was more than they had. I predicted it would be split 3 ways in the Will for 3 siblings- and it was.

He’s very rich. His children will already get a massive inheritance. But he is still a child of my grandparents, and they wouldn’t have given my mother more at the time because of fairness. Despite how they may have felt, I’m sure.

@DrinkFeckArseBrick unrelated as far as I know.

im sure she would have done it all again without any compensation. But now she feels she is owed this. I think it’s far more complicated and they if it wasn’t in the will, she shouldn’t use it as a stick to beat him with.

I know others above suggest I should support her as he gave his word, but what’s in a word really, when it comes to inheritance?

This is incorrect. A beneficiary can agree to vary the Will after the death of a testator should they so wish

No there isn't

Was she only doing it so she’d get a bigger share of the spoils, then?!
He could have amended the will any time he chose, had he actually wanted to.

Quite honestly there are not many people who would just give away hundreds of thousands of pounds. Particularly if they have their own children.

I think your mum is actually being completely unreasonable and quite mercenary expecting it.

Of course they can. But they can’t be forced to.

I agree really.

but it’s hard to tell her this, lest I’m in the firing line next.

Sounds like a difficult situation, OP. I think you said that your mum was the primary carer for her mother for 10 years and that was tough for her. I wonder how much support she had with that task during that time. Did your uncle help to carry the burden? Was any professional support sought? Did any other family member pitch in?