To be worried about a fall out over this inheritance?

[Celia24]

My mother has just lost her mother this week, so that’s both parents gone now.

For info she and I grew up next to her parents and my childhood was spent at their home basically. When my grandfather died he split the house between his children. However because my uncle is very rich, he said that when the time came, he would sign the entire house over to my mother. This has never been written down, said only verbally.

however since then, my mum has been a career for her mother for over ten years. It has been tough and she’s taken the brunt.

today she said he better make good on his promise or else they will fall out. I actually feel quite angry about this because if they fall out, it will be the end of my relationship with my cousins families as well as my uncle and aunt. How can I persuade her otherwise??

Only you know your mum, but if it were my mum I'd be thinking of her a lot more charitably than you seem to be. It may not have been a mercenary thought process, but a "this is hard, but at least others have recognised the sacrifices I'm making". "I feel appreciated, they have noticed and are seeing me".

And now there has been a massive pressure release, in the form of her mother's passing, and she is worrying that actually that appreciation was all platitudes, to keep her feeling recognised and putting in all the hard graft. Shell be feeling an utter whirlwind of different emotions right now.

Did your uncle help at all with his mother? Did anyone? I doubt she did it thinking of a payout, but the promise of one made her feel that her efforts were recognised.

Hopefully that is the case, and I hope that you are recognising her efforts and the emotions she will be feeling right now, and not just wanting her to keep the peace so that you personally don't have any awkwardness.

She's recently bereaved and in the angry phase. I'd look empathetic and nod when your mum brings it up again, but also say there's no rush, why not give it a few months (I'm doing similar with my mum atm).

Can you have a quiet chat with your uncle to tell him what's going on?