To cancel my account

[ThisFluentBiscuit]

I've been here off and on for a while. I find many of the threads very negative and depressing, but that's not the real issue. The real issue is that no matter what you say, no matter how innocuous or harmless, there's always a nasty comment or a troll or someone twisting your words or being humourless or just being awkward for the sake of it. And there are always multiple people who blame the poster, no matter how bad a time they're having. There was a thread the other day from someone who'd suffered a painful dog bite needing a number of stitches, and people upset the victim enough to cause her to withdraw her thread.

There's virtually no humour here and precious few laughs. I don't know what MN can really do about so many posters who are determined to bring others down. Either way, I feel I'm better served doing almost anything else rather than hanging out on MN. It's too caustic to be a good use of time.

I'd hope to have some laughs here, but the only truly funny thread in about a year of lurking was the one a few months ago about the alluring face.

OK, I'm off to read something worthwhile/bake/clean/resurrect my piano-playing, basically anything more positive and productive than being on MN, which is almost everything!

There’s a funny thread about embarrassing celebrities you have a crush on. But, yeah, try to stay away from Aibu and anything remotely controversial.

You're going to have to cancel the entire internet then.

You're right. I'd love a positive place to go but no idea where you'd find that on the internet.

How about you set up a chat group of your own, grab some of the nicer women you enjoy reading here, and you be the moderator? You could still chat about some of the threads here, or stuff on Reddit etc. You could set it up on FB or something like that, have your own rules and moderate it as you please.

Just a thought.

You need to develop the ability to ignore those posters. For example, I’ve seen AIBU threads where the vast majority voted the OP WBU, because those posters lacked the ability to have a nuanced view or see beyond their own life experiences. However the minority gave some really useful and insightful responses, and those were hopefully helpful to the OP. But yes, it can be ridiculous. I used to get wound up but I don’t anymore. They’re just random opinions from strangers, they don’t need to have a humongous impact on you.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/flouncers_corner

change the thread you go on,
go on tv threads
there are chat threads and other threads
i hide aibu for a while
people use it as a sport

Have a look for the butter dish thread that’s running.

Or there is my go to for feeling good https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/3527870-Which-is-the-tastiest-Protestant-traybake

If you gotta leave baby
I won't beg you to stay
And if you gotta go, darlin'
Maybe it's better that way

You don’t need to announce your departure. If you don’t want to come on here nobody is forcing you.

I love this song

I think the op is highlighting something that has happened after 15 odd years of high speed internet and social media. The nastiness that has emerged from anonymity alongside a bitter lack of humour is very disturbing and disappointing. It reminds me of the disintegration of real life talk shows- they ibegan with Oprah and earnest dissection and analysis of our personal lives and ended up with Jerry springer and murder. Something bad is happening

i dont think you can just leave
you can check out but you can never leave

What I never understand is when a OP is getting a drubbing and posters just keep piling on and on to add to the abuse, it feels almost competitive, like everyone is just loving it. So weird 😒. I make a point never to post on such threads.

There are ways to use it that make it more bearable. Don’t get drawn into any attempts to start an ongoing row or justify yourself when you’ve been misrepresented. Ignore completely clear bad faith/unpleasant posters and if someone is really nasty, hide the thread. You’ll be surprised how quickly you forget it when the thread isn’t popping up on your “I’m on”.

For all that, I find there’s nowhere more informative than MN, if I have a query about pretty much anything I’ll type it into the search bar followed by Mumsnet and it nearly always bring up several threads of real life experiences that are so useful and also i will never forget the kindness and support I have experienced from some MNetters over the years.

This was immediate thought too!

This part of mumsnet doesn't get used very much anymore.

I used to love a good flounce.

I agree with you. I deleted my account fairly recently. Unfortunately I'm so used to being on MN that I missed it so I opened a new account and came back. But I don't think it's a positive place for my mental state and I fully expect to delete this account and to try avoid coming here again.

The comments are awful at times. I think it's the internet and social media in general. Anonymity bringing out the worst in people. Some real bitchiness. There are however also amazing helpful and mature responses, so I guess the platform can be positive at times but it's having the ability to extract only helpful comments, and ignore the 'playground' catty stuff (and having the resilience to bounce back from those) .

I agree that it can be unpleasant. Sometimes people will pile in with strong opinions and partial understanding and then things escalate.

i think you have to decide what you want and need from mumsnet. If it’s advice on a particular topic then this is a fantastic place to find other people who’ve navigated illness, SEN, teenagers, elderly parents, school appeals… But if it’s general lighthearted chitchat and entertainment then you need to pick your topics and threads carefully.

the classics threads may restore your faith in humanity a bit. I remember reading about the plate behind the toilet with tears rolling down my face. There are some excellent ones there.

If Mumsnet has taught me anything, it's how nasty women can be. I joined as I saw a few posts I thought I could give a helpful answer/opinion on, and took the time to write what I thought were useful replies. I then made the mistake of commenting on AIBU. I had slightly misunderstood the OP so some of what I said wasn't relevant but I got such an unnecessarily hurtful reply from a random poster telling me what an idiot I was that it reduced me to tears. So many times now I write out a reply then before hitting post I think why bother? I'll just get some nasty snide response from someone who doesn't agree with me, so I end up not posting. I would delete my account completely but I still like reading some threads and it's useful to be able to skip through OP's posts without reading the whole thread.

just two innocent threads i am on, the latest remarks are catty
seems so unnecessary @ThisFluentBiscuit

This isn't new the internet is full of the good, the bad and the ugly. Personally I get a lot out of mn, I dip in and out of conversations that interest me. I ask for advice and have had tons of support. I ignore or call out nasty people.

If it's not for you that's fair enough but the internet isn't going to change unfortunately you either make it work for you or leave

Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before..

I’ve been on here sixteen years, it’s definitely changed in that time.
It never used to be as bitchy as it’s become the last few years but I still use it regularly and ignore the bad beeyotches .
Reddit can be nice if you can deal with the weird comments format

If you get used to the format, Reddit is good as you can downvote comments.

We're all terribly sorry not to have entertained you sufficiently, I'm sure.