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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work issue

6 replies

Bestfootforward11 · 28/01/2025 21:27

I’d be really grateful for some help with something. I think maybe I’m being a bit slow. 8 people in a room all with different perspectives on an issue, good meeting with lots of discussion. Team leader says we need to establish a working group who will then produce a report. I offer to be on the WG as do others. I think what was said that myself and another can rotate re future meetings or or something. Others were asked specifically to be on it. Afterwards I went to ask for clarification as the other person and I were really keen to both attend stuff as it’s a really interesting project and our area. I was told it’s more efficient to have less people on the WG to get things done. This does make sense. But I’m not clear, am I on the WG or not? And am I involved in the report writing or not? I’d love to be even though it’s extra work and no extra pay but I’m just really interested in it. I still don’t feel clear what my role is if I only attend some meetings but not all. Responses to me were quite spiky as though I was challenging things but I was only try to show keenness and understand the scope of what was being asked. I’m very tired and menopausal so maybe getting myself in knots and/or said things in the wrong way but I was really surprised at the tone.
Have I behaved unreasonably? I worry I’ve made a mess of things. Please be kind, I’ve been quite teary and feel confused.

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 28/01/2025 21:29

It sounds like you aren't part of the core WG but to keep you and the other colleague sweet they are letting you attend to give some input occasionally.

Bestfootforward11 · 28/01/2025 21:39

Spirallingdownwards · 28/01/2025 21:29

It sounds like you aren't part of the core WG but to keep you and the other colleague sweet they are letting you attend to give some input occasionally.

Edited

Thank you for your reply. This is what I felt it was. I feel like I’m overlooked at lot for stuff and just wanted to kinda say, love to be involved! But the reaction was really spiky and defensive and I was really baffled why as if I’d done something really wrong here. Maybe I’ve misunderstood things. I don’t know anymore!

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 28/01/2025 21:41

Perhaps let them know that you understand that everyone can't be involved on this group but would like to be borne in mind next time there is another project or decision making process to be held.

Bestfootforward11 · 28/01/2025 21:41

I feel teary because I rarely put myself forward and was trying to be a bit brave but it interpreted like I wanted a more leading role in it which was not what I meant at all.

OP posts:
Bestfootforward11 · 28/01/2025 21:42

Spirallingdownwards · 28/01/2025 21:41

Perhaps let them know that you understand that everyone can't be involved on this group but would like to be borne in mind next time there is another project or decision making process to be held.

Thank you. This is a good idea.

OP posts:
stonebrambleboy · 28/01/2025 23:07

Do you have an annual appraisal, perhaps highlight your interest in WG as a goal for the following year?

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