Bringing toddler out in the rain

[RainRainRain123]

Just started a new nanny position. Mother of the child (20 months) is quite insistent that he should be brought out twice a day even if its raining. He has rain gear, I do not. Just arrived this morning to be told he loves the library, its only a 30 minute walk each way, it's lashing rain here. I said if it eases of later I will get out with him. Questioned me yesterday if we went to the park. Has sent me numerous groups, all of which are at least 20 minutes walk away, not allowed take him out in the car. Where they live is also quite hilly and buggy isn't the best.

Mam seems to walk everywhere and always has her rain gear on. AIBU to not want to go out twice a day when the weather is bad.

Oh, come on.

There's a world of difference between walking 20-30 minutes in 'normal' rain to go to groups or taking a toddler out for a splashy run around the swings, and being asked to walk 20-30 minutes (assuming each way also) twice daily with said child in some of the weather we've had recently!

It's been absolutely torrential in some parts, the OP said roads have been flooding and that it's been 'lashing it down'. Combined with the horrible cold winds, doesn't matter if you're all raincoated up or not. It still stings and freezes your face. Kids drop gloves and end up who sore fingers, you get splashed by dickhead drivers when the roads are bad.

Plus if waterproofs get drenched on the way to the library/a group you're going to be very unpopular putting your sopping wet things somewhere (where, in a library would these go?!) and they're never going to get dry before you have to walk back. So you end up having to trudge back in those same soggy clothes which are never as effective on the second wear without time to dry properly!

The school run this last week has been foul... and I drove. It was bad enough being out in it for the 20 minutes it took for me to collect my children and get back in the car!

It's not a reasonable request at all in really bad weather. And I'm a parent and person who is very much in favour of getting outdoors and enjoys rainy, muddy walks in the woods!

I'd not work for someone who wouldn't trust my judgement and account for the child's (and my comfort) in allowing the use of the car when the weather really is not suitable for walking in it. Not a chance. Find another job OP, and Mum can do these delightful walks herself!

It kind of depends on the child too. Mine has to have proper physical activity twice a day or she won't sleep but soft play would be ok for one of the trips.

Re nurseries and going out, our nursery goes out twice a day and in rooms where there is direct access to the outdoors they freeflow most of the day. I'd be surprised if there are nurseries that only go out once!

OP isn't just being asked to go out twice a day, her employer is also insisting that OP walks for around 2 hours a day as she isn't allowed to use the car.
I think that's two expectations in one, actually!

That she has to walk everywhere has no real benefit to the 1.5 year old child, who will likely be in the buggy for the majority of the time. Possibly a detriment, even. An hour in the buggy, or 10 minutes in the car? The child would be better in the car for 10 and off playing and toddling for the rest of the time.

The employer just wants OP to work her ass off.

I don’t know where the idea comes from that all kids love the rain. I know mine didn’t and neither does my little niece.

A little rain shower is fine but the weather recently has been awful.

I think you'll find he probably will!!

@Nanny0gg

He won't. I know the nursery. It's part of a chain and they have little outside space as it's located in an industrial estate. He may get to go in the enclosed garden for a certain amount of time but that will be it.

Maybe I'm not seeing the issue because most of the nannies round us don't drive. It's rare to find one who drives. So they walk most places. But I guess it depends on the walking conditions, whether there are good pavements, how busy the roads are.

I don't drive much either (it's not part of our daily routine) and probably walk as a minimum at least 2 hours a day - DC1's school is a 25 minute walk, nursery is 10 minutes from the school, then back home to work, then back out for school pick-up, nursery pick-up, shop and home. And playground in good weather.

I fully understand though that it's different in areas without decent street lighting and pavements, where walking is a hassle. Here it's just what people do most of the time. Lots of households without cars.

I personally see no reason why you can't just wear a waterproof coat or if you can't afford one ask them as your employer to provide one you can use. Personally I'd prefer to get my own so I can make sure it's fully waterproof and the warmth level of my choosing.

I'd take ds to the park etc in the rain and we'd be out and about as normal in all weather as long as there's not a weather warning. Given the climate we live in its just part of life.

@Goldbar

The pavements are not good, very narrow and hilly. Lots of traffic and quite frankly the area has nothing to offer from an asthetic point of view. The nearest shop (garage) is 15 minutes walk. I'm used to living and working in areas that are more accessible and have lots more to do. I suppose I was thinking the position is only short term so I could make it work.

Children shouldn't be out in dangerous weather, however rain is absolutely fine. I work in early years local authority education in Scotland and visit many nurseries, some are exclusively outdoors! Children enjoy all weather as long as they are dressed appropriately. No weather is bad unless it's dangerous. Wrap up or change jobs. A 20 minute walk really shouldn't be a big deal. Do they not have a garden to play in? Some of the most fun and learning happens during wet or cold weather.

In that case, the insistence on walking strikes me as unreasonable. Completely different to a quiet suburban area with good pavements and shops nearby where you can stop and say hello to cats and look at shop windows etc.

Before we got a car a few years ago, I walked absolutely everywhere and yes, it is fairly miserable if you're walking in areas that are just not set up for it.

My jacket is waterproof, I don't have waterproof trousers or shoes. It's the expectation of going our twice a day no matter how bad the weather is that's the problem. As I said previously the area is not well serviced with amenities so everywhere is a 40 to 60 minute round trip before we even get to a park or library. The buggy is terrible and pavements not great. Two hours walking a day everyday in the rain is quite unreasonable.

You don't sound like a professional nanny OP. Buy some rain gear and get walking or look for another job.

So if the family don't have a garden, what is round about their flat/house? What are the immediate surroundings? It's a bit odd to live miles from any decent facilities but in a busy area and not have a garden - it's an odd choice to make, especially if they're reasonably well off.

Ok so you've posted repeatedly about all the shit parts of this job and you clearly dislike the job, the area and the role you're being expected to do so whether anyone thinks you're unreasonable or not for the sake of everyone involved you need to move on and find a different role and let someone else provide care for this child.

I think the no car rule is a bit silly if it would allow better recreational opportunities for the child but children really do benefit from being taken out in all weather. This is especially true if they do not have a garden they can play in. edited Also buy suitable rain wear and claim it back on tax.

There’s nothing wrong with having a moan about your job I do all the time

Agree with other posts BUT 30 mins walk with a toddler, in the rain; sounds hideous

Id happily walk for an hour in the rain

Or walk a mile in the rain

But with a whingeing toddler in tow? It would be painful

From your updates yanbu not to want to go out twice a day in lashing rain. One outing per day is enough

Wellies don't cost that much, but I have (just for walking around and wearing to cycle to work, walking to the bus stop) Goretex shoes that are really practical, comfortable and were fairly reasonable (they've lasted for years). Mine are from Ecco.

in general it doesn’t rain all day so you can try time the walks if there is a break in the weather. This mum sounds fab, she wants her kid to be healthy and grow up not to be a snowflake. This mum also understands her kids needs a high level of exercise or will be a nightmare if left indoors. I have a nephew like this, he will literally start to climb the walls if he doesn’t go outside. I’m sure the walk to the group will count for once and then a walk to the park will be fine. I also think in the UK, people don’t take their kids out enough! It should be the norm. There is so much evidence to show that our younger generations don’t have enough resilience, if we teach them to stay inside when there is a bit of rain then no wonder!

Drive everywhere? You’re all here acting like you do this type of shit twice a day every day yourselves. OP has already stated it’s 30 mins walk one way to certain locations she’s expected to take child to, not exactly she’s already stated it’s a pretty hilly type road either way bad footpaths and not a very sturdy buggy, if it’s also lashing heavy rain on top of that, this isn’t exactly a pleasurable experience and the car should be allowed!! Also besides that 30 minutes one way isn’t exactly a realistic walking distance. When holiday websites advertise “within walking distance” it’s typically 10-15 mins, imagine having to walk half an hour to a beach or a being half an hours walk outside the main area, you’d be looking somewhere closer and more practical knowing you’d to spend 2 hours a day of your holidays just walking to/from civilisation 😂 Anyway just think the whole thing is an unnecessary expectation and quite demanding. Someone said about kids need fresh air and shouldn’t be cooped up inside all day, this isn’t the issue and taking him out in the car when it’s 30 mins walk is more practical especially when raining. If it was a case of everything being round 5/10 minute walk that would be ok but even the closest shop is 15 mins walk, bit of compromise from the child mother when it’s lashing rain isn’t too much to expect!!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, especially regarding the buggy. If she wants you to go out all the time she should get a suitable buggy!

It’s her job though