Tell them about our holiday

[Cantthinkofnametouse]

DH and I are thinking of booking a holiday that we know his parents also mentioned is somewhere they want to do. In short we don’t want them to come with us. This very much WE decision they can be nice people but just hard work with different morals. If we all they will want to spend all our time together.

point of post would it be unreasonable to book said holiday and just not tell them it’s too late for them to join us, I feel a little guilty knowing it’s something they want to do.

yabu they won’t be here forever let them enjoy a holiday with you

yanbu don’t tell them go enjoy your holiday

I think you're unreasonable to keep it from them, knowing it's something they also want to do.
But you're not unreasonable to not want a holiday with your in laws - in the million years I've been with my DP I have done three holidays with his parents and fucking hated every single one haha

There is a danger of them hijacking your holiday wherever you decide to go. So I think you would have to lie about where you have booked regardless in order to stop them coming along.

This!
They are bound to find out if you sneak off and it’s hard work keeping up pretence

They sound ridiculously controlling and unreasonable. So even if you said that you don't want them to come, they would still book it regardless? If that's the case, just don't tell them about the holiday. They don't need to know.

just tell them hubby booked for you as a last min surprise than it’s all on him

I voted yabu but I was referring to booking the holiday and not telling them. You should book the holiday and explain that you and your husband want to go alone.
It will create unnecessary bad feelings if you don't tell them
Enjoy your holiday

Based on this i'd keep quiet!
If they want to go so badly they can sort it out, doesn't need to be with you.

It's easier to seek forgiveness than permission.

Tell them you have a week off and are looking to go somewhere in the UK, camping,.whatever, something you know they aren't interested in.

Then go where you want to go and tell them after saying you got a bonus and it was all a bit last minute.

So what if they don't believe you or get the huff.

C) go somewhere else in the world this year and don't rock the boat for no reason?

you think that won't create bad feelings?

I think in those circs, I'd go and not tell them. If they did find out say that you wanted to be alone. The boundary setting is going to have to happen sometime and it may as well be now....but.....what's your partner's take on this?
Like others, if they do want to go there why haven't they just gone?

Eventually he will have to say that he is going or that he went to Egypt or wherever it is, and then he will have to have the discussion about why he didn't/doesn't want them to come. It's a roundabout way of showing them that he chose her over them.

I see. I guess it’s possible. I think it would be best if they tell PIL a couple of weeks before the holiday that they’re going but be vague on dates and definitely don’t tell them the name of the hotel.

Can't you just go when they're dead?

If they are that painful just lie and say you’re going somewhere else.

I take it you’re adults. Do they clear everything they do with the two of you ?

If no, then why do you feel like you need to clear it with them.

Tell them but keep it vague unless they start asking questions about exact hotel/resort/ dates. If they do that you need to tell them this is a holiday for just you and OH

Helpful. Maybe they are only in their sixties and likely to live for another 20 or more years. Should the OP and family not go a place they like for fear of offending the in laws? Life’s too short for that sort of nonsense.

Option 3: go somewhere else

As a matter of interest OP, why have the IL's not already been to this place? Have you asked them?

Me too!! 😂

I was also wondering if putting it off a few years might….erm…. Solve the problem naturally 😬

<<shocked laugh>> 😆