Wrong to tell Dd her leg could fall off

[Oneofthosedaysss]

Dd has had spots on her body for a while, the Dr can’t find the cause and they are fading…if she just leaves them alone.
She picks at them and makes them bleed terribly. I was tired of telling her not to do it, the Dr also told her not to do it. In a moment of frustration and worry today at seeing another awful, bleeding sore, I told her she had to stop or it would get infected and go green and they’ll chop her leg off. Obviously I quickly said that won’t happen with her.
When Dh came home she asked him if it would happen and he got angry at me.
It’s very unlike me, but seeing such sores everywhere is worrying me

Was I being that unreasonable to just try to shock her in the moment (I’ve tried everything else)

6 😬

Of course you’re being unreasonable, you’ve just scared the kid using hyperbolic language like “chop off” and an incredibly unlikely scenario. I don’t mind telling my children the likely consequences of things (if you won’t stop picking at it you might need to wear mittens or if you pick at it we could have go to doctors for oral medicines if the spots get infected) but I’d be furious if my DH told my kid nonsense about amputation to scare them into compliance.

Can you not just get a very sticky plaster over it or something?

Not a pleasent thing to say.

A teacher said a similar thing to my 6 year old (actually the teacher offered to chop it off for her after some particularly performative limping). I thought it was hilarious when the 6 year old crossly repeated it back to me.

I think you were being unreasonable as it sounds like you were having a serious conversation.

I'll sometimes say to my 5 year old something similar, but will be lighthearted. Eg if she comes to me with a paper cut on her finger I'll very overdramatically say "oh my god!!! We'll have to cut your whole arm off!!!"
But I wouldn't say it if there was a long running issue with her skin and I was being serious about her not picking.

Cut the fingernails as short as you can

Get her a skin picking sensory toy as a distraction

Tell your husband to give his head a wobble

Nah that's mean. Fine say it might get infected but it's not going to fall off is it.

My mum told me if I didn't stop biting my nails she would chop my fingers off with the nail scissors...never bit them again. Mums do what they have to do.

Picking at spots could cause infections so technically it could turn green...suppose the worst case could lead to legs been chopped off.

I used to get threatened with stuff like this all the time and it didn’t do me any harm. I was always about 95% sure she wasn’t serious but that 5% of doubt was enough to stop me doing things that would harm me. I was a very hyper Tom boy when I was a kid. Always found new ways of playing to scare my parents. The threat of injury and death happened a lot.

As a HCP I absolutely hate parents telling lies to their kids, especially with regards to their health. This is how medical phobias begin..

Cannot see an issue with this. She needs to stop. I wouldn't have backtracked either and DH can pipe down unless he has a better solution.

DM said that to me once when I kept wearing cheap earrings and had eczema. If it keeps getting picked, it’s open to infection and scarring.

Not your best moment, but we all make mistakes, and you can get a bit desperate trying to stop your kids doing things that are actually harmful to themselves. Your husband has no business being angry with you.

I don't get why this is a big deal... Definitely not worth getting angry about, or feeling sorry for.

It's the kind of thing my dad would say to me, lol. Alongside "well, don't do that if it hurts then".

It's really not a big deal IMO.

My dad told me that if I touched a lightbulb when it was on, my hand would catch fire and shrivel up. I still don't go near live lightbulbs, but other than that I don't think I have suffered any lasting damage. She'll be fine, and will hopefully stop picking.

I think the problem is that you do t normally say such things.

I'm always telling my kids their body parts will fall off/ be chopped off/ go green and mouldy, so they don't take it seriously...!

Tbf if ot got infected and went septic it could technically happen. Very unlikely mind but if we're trying to justify it.... 😆

Really not a big deal she'll have forgotten all about it when the spots have gone.

We all come out with ridiculous stuff occasionally, especially when we're worried. You quickly retracted it though and presumably apologised? So not your finest moment, but I don't get why your dh got so angry with you. That seems like more of a problem to me.

Fwiw, my dd went through a similar phase and they did genuinely get infected. That wasn't enough to stop her picking, she had to keep her legs covered pretty much at all times for a few weeks until they were fully healed up

'If the wind changes your face will stay like that'

Laughing at all the perfect holier than thou parents on this page who have never said so much as "if you don't brush your teeth they'll drop out"

I don't see an issue with what you've said - it was factually correct even if unlikely.

She has to learn the consequences of things and sometimes with kids it has to be the extreme consequence for them to even get it

Its a bit silly as she'll probably figure out you lied and if you make a habit of it it will reduce trust. I'd talk to her and say look that falling off thing I said is very rare but you can have a cut that's gets infected and would be very painful.