Sex or lack of after birth

[winniethepop]

I am 3 months post partum and having a few stress incontinence issues which I'm seeing a physio for and doing kegals and it's slowly improving but it's making sex really difficult for me just now because although all has been fine so far I'm spending the entire time we do it hoping I don't leak and trying not to and hoping it's over soon just in case.
Dh is getting frustrated because it's child number 4 and we've always been back to normal straight away and he doesn't understand why we're not back on track yet even though he knows the situation but the added pressure of him constantly asking is literally killing my libido.

I'm 41 and just want to recover, I had a ventouse delivery and lots of painful stitches and he kept asking when, when, when and since the stitches have healed he just wants me to be back as we were but I'm feeling so pressured its making me dread bedtime and I'm worried I'll never actually enjoy it again if this is how it is, I feel like I'm just letting him and not enjoying it and feeling quite dirty after because deep down I just don't want to but I know he has needs too and I don't want him to look elsewhere.

This is heartbreaking to read OP. Can you even imagine being aroused and being able to go through with sex when your partner didn't want to, let alone if it was difficult and uncomfortable? Coercive sex is rape, and he is an abusive pig.

After I had my second DC, at home, I had all sorts of problems. He presented forehead first so the second stage caused a lot of damage. The midwives had no idea until he eventually arrived, literally one minute from their deadline of calling for an ambulance.

4wks later, I had to go to the hospital to get checked out. Firstly, the woman who saw me argued that it was impossible for me to have given birth at home, naturally. That I was wrong because forehead presentations are a CSec. Then she asked if I'd had sex yet, I said no, then she launched into a tirade about my 'poor DH' who must be feeling so neglected. I was also EBF. Said DH, now X, went back to work the morning after DC was born and never had any time off. He left me dealing with an 18m, a newborn and I was in a lot of pain.

Your DH should know better as it's your 4th. Shove an 8lb watermelon up his arse, get him to push it out then him deal with the kids and have sex.

THIS 👆
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Oh yes he bloody can!

He's vile!

Was he like this with every child?

@winniethepop your ‘D’H has zero respect for you. Do you see that?

Of course he can help it. He’s choosing not to because he’s a sex pest who doesn’t give a shit about you.

No self respecting man puts this kind of pressure on his wife when she is recovering from birth.

What an absolute pig.

As many others have commented, this is depressing. But I can't believe you say you're still doing "stuff" (so basically, you giving him a blow job?) a "couple of times a week" and he's STILL pestering you for sex every night?! The cheek!!!

My last birth was more than eight years ago but my husband should be so lucky!

What an entitled, awful man. You aren't in a safe, loving relationship if you think you have to endure sex you don't want to stop him "looking elsewhere". Now, did you just think that up yourself or has he made you feel like this is the case, I wonder?

Prick. Dump his entitled arse.