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Original poster

How do I handle this with my 2 year old? I am despairing

86 replies

Klor · 27/01/2025 15:12

Ds 2y 3 months won’t get dressed. I have tried everything, tv, food, playing first, getting cross, leaving him to do it and leaving the room… nothing works for around 30 minutes. When he eventually relents, half the time he will undress himself a couple of minutes later. I am on my own all week with him so nobody to take over and I am getting late for work often as a result of this. I can’t cope with it anymore. I am quite robust and I have clear boundaries with things but this is one thing I can’t seem to crack and to be blunt about it… it’s fucking up my day. This morning I got cross and then he cried and I felt like the worst mother ever and cried on the way back from nursery. I just don’t know what to do

OP posts:
Bakedpotatoes · 27/01/2025 15:15

You can either get up slightly earlier so you have the additional time or warn them once, then take them and their clothes and get in the car.

Have they said why they don't like getting dressed? Would helping choose the clothes help?

Ace56 · 27/01/2025 15:16

Can you put him in a dungarees or something he can’t take off? Then after a few weeks try normal clothes again as the behaviour pattern has been broken.

Do you think it’s about the clothes (eg sensory issues) or it’s just about control?

Chuchoter · 27/01/2025 15:17

Back to front all in in one.

Scottishshopaholic · 27/01/2025 15:17

Dress him right before you go out the door, literally have everything ready so you go straight out the door and strap him in the car seat.

Is it anything to do with clothes? Could you get some character clothing to get him a bit more excited. Have you tried giving an option?

MoMhathair · 27/01/2025 15:18

Are you bringing him to nursery? If so, could you get nursery on side and arrange that you can bring him in just his PJs (or even his nappy, with the heat turned up and blanket for outside) so that you can both take a break from the hoo-ha of getting dressed? It'll pass eventually. 2 year olds are just unreasonable little dictators who eventually get bored.

CoffeeCueen · 27/01/2025 15:19

Oh it’s like toddlers are biologically programmed to pick the worst moment to be awkward!

Getting cross will not help, although goodness knows we’ve all been there.

Maybe he associates getting dressed negatively with you leaving him at nursery?

Can you make it a game? He may not be old enough but mine liked a game. Race each other to get dressed (make sure dc wins). Pretend to get it wrong and put the socks on his arms.

Also put the clothes on a warm radiator, and let dc pick (red trousers today, or blue ones?)

ItsProperlyColdOut · 27/01/2025 15:20

Maybe he could sleep in his day clothes and you could just get him up and take him out in the same clothes.

Soonenough · 27/01/2025 15:20

Get him to choose his outfit for the morning as part of his bedtime routine . Within weather appropriate boundaries let him make the choices. Any resistance in the morning remind him that he chose the outfit .

Thisismeme · 27/01/2025 15:21

I would ask nursery if you can bring him in pjs for a while. This will take the heat out of the situation. Our nursery would definitely help with thjs

lakesandplains · 27/01/2025 15:21

So so trying at 2 - it will get better! I'd talk to nursery and bundle him out the door in whatever with clothes in his bag if i had to - he can't make you late for work that's unacceptable.

Mine was so stubborn at 2 we'd take her out without her coat in depths of winter as she just would not put it on before we left at that age! She's a self motivated determined and brilliant teen now.

Original poster
Klor · 27/01/2025 15:22

Thanks for the responses. To answer a few questions, yes I have let him choose, I have got to the point where I don’t care what he wears as long as he is dressed.

I have tried getting up earlier but due to the commute if I got up much earlier it would be before 6:30 which seems extreme and would make the day longer for him as he gets up at 7/7:15.

Pretty sure it’s not a sensory thing.

I do have everything ready, including his yoghurt which he takes in the car before breakfast at nursery. Getting dressed is the only task.

OP posts:
Original poster
Klor · 27/01/2025 15:22

Thisismeme · 27/01/2025 15:21

I would ask nursery if you can bring him in pjs for a while. This will take the heat out of the situation. Our nursery would definitely help with thjs

@Thisismeme I didn’t want them to think I’m not coping 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Pelot · 27/01/2025 15:23

Just be firm and carry on. He needs to get dressed. It's ok to be cross with them when they act like monkeys.

Original poster
Klor · 27/01/2025 15:23

CoffeeCueen · 27/01/2025 15:19

Oh it’s like toddlers are biologically programmed to pick the worst moment to be awkward!

Getting cross will not help, although goodness knows we’ve all been there.

Maybe he associates getting dressed negatively with you leaving him at nursery?

Can you make it a game? He may not be old enough but mine liked a game. Race each other to get dressed (make sure dc wins). Pretend to get it wrong and put the socks on his arms.

Also put the clothes on a warm radiator, and let dc pick (red trousers today, or blue ones?)

@CoffeeCueen thank you these are good ideas! I think he would find it funny if I tried to put them on wrong. It’s so hard not to get cross and I feel sick every time I think about this morning

OP posts:
Pelot · 27/01/2025 15:24

I'd get him dressed first thing. Lay out his clothes the night before and tell him once he's dressed you'll read a quick story or whatever he would want. Better to have a built in 5 minute delay than a battle.

lakesandplains · 27/01/2025 15:24

Try 'get dressed before the song ends' or 'bet you can't beat mummy to getting your air js on/getting dressed'.

Ultimately, you pay the nursery, and work pays you. Everyone knows two year olds are really hard ! Some more than others just the luck of the draw.

DaisyChain505 · 27/01/2025 15:25

Ask him what it is he doesn’t like.

he might be able to tell you that the labels are scratchy or his socks are too small etc.

make a visual sticker chart with a picture for each item of clothing. Socks, pants, tshirt etc and for every item he put on he can then put a sticker on the chart.

get a teddy bear or doll that you can dress and get him to help with that and take it in turn to put an item on the teddy and then him.

cestlavielife · 27/01/2025 15:26

Put him to sleep in joggers and t shirt he wears to nursery next day. Change in evening . Reat daily
Take the heat out of it.
No one will know he slept in the day clothes. Soft joggers and t short stick a jumper on top.

LegoLandslide · 27/01/2025 15:26

Natural consequences? I put mine in her car seat with nothing on once. (We have a very private driveway). She quickly decided it was time to get dressed. It only took the once too.

I've seen other children arriving at the nursery in PJs, so that wouldn't be super unusual.

AmusedGoose · 27/01/2025 15:26

They won't. They are professionals. Honestly seek ANY help you can.

coxesorangepippin · 27/01/2025 15:27

Just send him in in his pj's

Calmhappyandhealthy · 27/01/2025 15:28

Does he take his clothes off at nursery or in town or at friend's houses?

Curtainqueen · 27/01/2025 15:28

Klor · 27/01/2025 15:23

@CoffeeCueen thank you these are good ideas! I think he would find it funny if I tried to put them on wrong. It’s so hard not to get cross and I feel sick every time I think about this morning

Show quote history

Try not to be too hard on yourself. We have all been there. This morning has gone now. All he will be thinking about is what's on telly next. He won't hold it against you. You've been given lots of new ideas to try. Tomorrow is another day x

DemonicCaveMaggot · 27/01/2025 15:30

You aren't alone either. I have twins and I would catch one and put on their socks while the other ran off, then I'd catch the second one and put on their socks and the first one ran off. This went on for every item of clothing, but they didn't take them off though which must be beyond frustrating.

It took 45 minutes to get them dressed on a good morning.

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