How do I handle this with my 2 year old? I am despairing

[Klor]

Ds 2y 3 months won’t get dressed. I have tried everything, tv, food, playing first, getting cross, leaving him to do it and leaving the room… nothing works for around 30 minutes. When he eventually relents, half the time he will undress himself a couple of minutes later. I am on my own all week with him so nobody to take over and I am getting late for work often as a result of this. I can’t cope with it anymore. I am quite robust and I have clear boundaries with things but this is one thing I can’t seem to crack and to be blunt about it… it’s fucking up my day. This morning I got cross and then he cried and I felt like the worst mother ever and cried on the way back from nursery. I just don’t know what to do

This is what I was thinking.

Just take him to nursery in his pyjamas with a bag of clothes.
He won’t be the first! This is quite common.

Have you tried counting as he gets dressed? My grandchild is the same age and if i start counting and we try to "beat" yesterday's "score",it makes it into a game.I used to play it with her Dad,too!

Have you tried a visual reward chart - if he is good and gets dressed for 5 days on the trot, he gets a really special treat (and it has to be something really really good, not just a tube of smarties).
Could you put a song on and he has to get dressed by the end of it (or a crocodile will eat you - you pretend to be the crocodile haha)
Nursery should not be expected to dress your child regularly, but as a one off, you may just have to throw him in the car and take him.
Forget the playing, bribing and tv - this is a non negotiable.

Just take him without being dressed. My friend once turned up to swimming class with her toddler in just a nappy because she refused to get dressed that day. It was freezing and and I was pretty taken aback but the child never refused again. Take him in whatever he refusing to get out of, he’ll soon learn.

Mine all went to nursery in PJs. Couldn’t be arsed with the stress before work.
It then went to fancy dress costumes everyday and I think it went on until they started school.
They won’t think you’re not coping, do what’s needed for your own sanity.

Put the TV on and dress him in front of his favourite cartoon.

This isn't a battle you have to win. It's a stress you need to remove from your morning routine.

I am a Nursery Teacher. I have encouraged parents to bring their children in pyjamas before, with a change of clothes. There would be no judgement. I know exactly how young children can be, and I just want to help. If it helps the child and parent then it is absolutely worth it. Please speak to your child's nursery.

My sister had this with my nephew (who is now a beautifully-behaved 8 year old). She used to dress him in tracksuit bottoms and a top instead of pyjamas so that she didn't have to have the 'getting dressed battle' every morning before nursery.

Edited: Ah, I see @cestlavielife beat me to it!

My friend, Deputy Head for KS2 of the school where her son attended KS1, had an arrangement with her good friend and colleague, who had a son of the same age, that her DS could come in early to her classroom (Nursery) and potter around with his chum until other children began to arrive in the playground.
He picked up the vibe that time was of the essence and that not getting dressed was a superb annoyance tactic, until she did just that - folks were more laissez faire about seatbelts in the 70's - bundled him into the back seat of the car with his clothes.
She hadn't even realised how quickly and well he could dress himself. DH collected him at the end of the school day (he worked in newspapers, so he was not around for the morning rush, but ensured that DS was not hanging around at the end of the school day if Mummy's job kept her on the premises.)
A older child, so she only needed to do it once, but a 2-year-old will cotton on that you say what you mean and mean what you say.

I agree about as much as possible making it into the 'game' it's the only thing that worked at times with mine at that age

-Talking socks was pretty effective and funny (like socks on your hands as puppets) so the socks were talking to each other about what to put on where etc getting it wrong so he could correct them - sounds ridiculous but did work for abit.

My 2 year old had major meltdowns as I only used to follow this routine of 'up and dressed before going downstairs' on nursery days. It was protest. Now we do it every single day so it's not linked to the nursery routine. Could this help?

Brilliant

More sympathy and another vote for making it a game, but I'd also suggest giving him limited choice, eg red or blue t-shirt, black or navy joggers rather than standing looking at the the whole wardrobe. I'm 45 and find making decisions overwhelming all day in the morning, so limited options can be useful.

It's all in how you frame it. If you are upbeat like "miniKlor has decided that getting dressed is not on his morning agenda so if it's ok with you he's going to arrive in his jammies for a little while, clothes in his bag" they'll probably just shrug and say ok. If you are stressed and "oh my god I'm so sorry I just couldn't get him to put his clothes on, I know it's awful" then they'll worry.

Tell him it's time to get dressed. Then that's ok we need to leave now so we'll put these in your bag and you can get changed at nursery, let's get in the car.

They're total pains in the butt when they want to be. Sympathies.

I used to wrap my legs around my kids and just get them dressed while they flailed and screamed. It was the only way it was happening. No I didn't hurt them. There were no bruises or scrapes or anything. Just an excess of sweat from me and some swearing under my breath.

Tried racing him? Toddlers love a race!

I used to play my DS favourite dog 'show me the way to Amarillo' he had to get dressed before the song finished anytime I hear that song I think god that was hard but sometimes I ache for those days 😥

Seriousy, save yourself the angst and send him in pjs. You won't be judged.

Plus the gap between proper clothes and pjs is tiny in toddlerwear. Put him to sleep in joggers? Mix and match pj sets?

Have you tried not giving him breakfast until he's dressed?

They are honestly little shits at this age haha.
2/3 is a horrible age I think it's so so hard

I don't have much advice but just wanted to say it will pass - hang in there. I have a 3 year old and every morning getting dressed was a nightmare when she was 2 but it's fine now.
Don't give yourself too much of a hard time - sometimes they need to see they can't be dicks without consequences and sometimes that consequence is substandard parenting for a few mins.

Absolutely this. Buy some PJ sets that could easily pass as an outfit (joggers, leggings etc with a long sleeve top). Unless he’s wet them, leave him in them in the morning and plonk him in the car. Put his socks / shoes on before you leave / when he’s already strapped into car seat or when you arrive at nursery. Toddlers don’t sweat or get smelly in bed at night.

I'm in the same situation. My 2 year old has made me late for work more times than I would like to admit lately. Today he wouldn't even let me change his nappy and insisted that he wanted his wet nappy back on 🤦

I find that dressing him first thing in a morning before doing anything else has a higher success rate. Also letting him wear his favourite character clothes and singing whilst he gets dressed sometimes make life slightly easier. There are still plenty of days though where nothing helps and he's just completely unreasonable 😅 I'm hoping this phase doesn't last long!